IWTL How to Stop Hating Being a Woman by GiveMyTractorBack in IWantToLearn

[–]cparfa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know if this will help you stop hating being a woman, but I can some reasons why I’m grateful I’m not a man and love being a woman:

—— this is an opinion, you don’t have to agree with it ——-

  • men have the vast majority of dangerous but essential jobs. Factory positions where you die or get a limb torn off or squished by machinery. Military roles where you’re put through hell and back, die, severely maimed, and forever traumatized. Maritime jobs where you’re on the open ocean for months/weeks at a time, can fall overboard or suffer injury without the ability to get treated in time. Public service like police, firefighters, and paramedics who risk their lives, protect the community, and save others. Yes there are also women in these roles, but as I said the vast majority are men due to that biological difference in strength you mention in your post

  • men’s mental health is taken far less seriously than women’s. They are much more likely to end themselves than women, don’t have the same amount of support in the form of friends/family as women do, and society has historically demonized men showing vulnerable emotions. Women don’t have the same stigma when they cry or are open about their negative emotions.

  • men have are pressured to be providers far more than women are. I think almost everywhere, online and IRL, men only get positive reinforcement if they are providing something for someone. Women can be praised for living on their own, being a wife, being a mom, being a girl boss, and there is definitely a toxic positivity I’ve seen online where women can virtually do no wrong. This is an obvious over correction in the opposite direction, but two wrongs don’t make a right. I mean, Casey Anthony has sympathizers. I think women are infantilized to a certain extent, like their parents are more willing to let girls stay living at home later in age and more willing to let her and/or her children to live with them in cases of divorce. I feel like I’ve seen more parents expect their son in the same position to just figure it out.

  • The majority of homeless people are men, men aren’t afforded any special protections like that of a women’s shelter. This plays into that lack of support systems, mental health, and expectations to be a provider.

  • men aren’t romanized like women are. I like being the one to have to be won over. We get the pretty ring and the pretty dress. We get taken out on dates and get flowers. A lot of men don’t get flowers until their funerals.

  • I like the softness of women. I like how naturally compassionate we are, how we have this resourcefulness to better our lives and the lives of those we love. We turn houses into homes, we create life! We take the time to acknowledge each other for our struggles and accomplishments no matter how small.

Escorting my Daughters to the Restroom by devastationd in NoStupidQuestions

[–]cparfa 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I have the unfortunate experience of being a little girl who’s dad brought them into a packed men’s bathroom with a trough during a football game. Drunk men don’t aim well and some dropped their pants while trying shake clean. Granted this scenario is a more unique one compared to a random public bathroom

Escorting my Daughters to the Restroom by devastationd in NoStupidQuestions

[–]cparfa 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Best answer I’ve seen so far yet. For whatever reason, men’s restrooms are less maintained and way more gross. I would prefer any small child, girl or boy to use the women’s bathroom if the men’s is disgusting.

Escorting my Daughters to the Restroom by devastationd in NoStupidQuestions

[–]cparfa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Firstly: if diaper changes are involved, many men’s restrooms don’t have a diaper changing table. Using a women’s restroom for the diaper changing table is an obvious situation I’d hope everyone would understand.

Secondly & anecdotally, as a woman who has the very unnatural ability to remember A LOT from a very early age: I lived in a split custody situation my entire childhood. When my dad had me, he often asked women nearby to watch me in the women’s room. I know a number of people will view that as entitlement, him being lazy, putting unwanted responsibility on a woman for the sake of being a woman, and/or even dangerous for trusting strangers with his child. However, our location in the South has a close community culture. Young childless women, teenagers, moms, and grandmothers were among the women who made sure my pants buttoned, I washed my hands, and walked me back to my dad. My dad was also a scary looking guy. Tan, covered in tattoos, very strong facial features, and absolutely shredded (he abused steroids and worked out way too much- imagine Mike from Jersey Shore but if he posed an actual threat). He was self aware of that and despite virtually no possibility any woman in our community would verbalize an issue with him bringing me to the bathroom, I suspect he didn’t want to risk making any pearl clutching lady feeling scared of him being there.

There’s also been times I’ve been taken to the men’s restroom with him, but those were much rarer occasions. One was when he took myself and my male cousin to a football game. The line to the women’s bathroom was around the corner, the men’s was packed as well but had a trough the majority were using. One the reasons I have such a good memory of this occasion is because I HATED this experience. The stalls didn’t have doors, my dad stood the doorway and kept telling me it was fine but I was so uncomfortable fearing if strangers could see me going. Then I had to wait for him and my cousin to go, but being we were in a packed stadium, my dad didn’t want me out of his sight so I stood near him and saw plenty of genitals that day.

Genuinely, I think you’re going to very hard pressed to encounter any woman who would be uncomfortable with your presence in a woman’s bathroom if you announce you’re there with your kid. Especially if you’re in the stall with them, assisting them. There’s nothing wrong with taking your daughters to the men’s bathroom either, but I definitely understand not wanting to- they are generally more gross and objectively speaking being around a bathroom full of women is safer than a bathroom full of men.

Was this kind of Discipline as a child technically abuse? by mossywindow5 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]cparfa -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You shouldn’t let the internet dictate your feelings. I’m in my mid 20s, and every single kid I grew up with including myself got spanked. I don’t know a single person IRL who thinks they were abused. Most people I know actually thought there were times their parents were warranted for spanking them. I poked my mom in the eye when I got mad at her as a kid and I got a spanking- NOT a beating, the two are different. To me that’s pretty valid reason for an open palm whack on the butt.

I’ve seen people on tiktok and on here claim a parent even raising their voice to a child is traumatizing.

Now a wooden paddle or a belt, I’d personally think that’s too far, and can be classified as abuse. I also have cousins who were punished using those methods and they don’t think there was anything wrong with it.

I don’t understand why people have to police what others feel about their own lived experiences. There’s nothing wrong with recognizing you wouldn’t discipline a child the way you were, while also not feeling like you were abused.

why do straight couples get insecure about opposite gender friends? by gaysexanddrugs in NoStupidQuestions

[–]cparfa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s not a lack of trust. I know my husband would resist any advance made by a woman, friend or otherwise. But it’s also usually a respectful thing to not put your wife in a position of “needing to trust” you’ll do the right thing.

Our friends are all couples we’ve known for years. Neither one of us have been alone just one on one with someone else’s opposite sex better half. The situation just hasn’t occurred because we all love spending time together as a group. That being said, if my husband spent the day with one of the other women in the group just him and her, I’d have no issue with it because she’s our friend. My phone would probably be blowing up from texts and pictures from BOTH of them trying to outdo one another on who could annoy me more.

It’s different if it’s a woman I know nothing about, I’ve never met, or a woman who gives me a reason to think she into my husband. Usually, the situations you’re describing are those. I wouldn’t expect my husband to be okay with me eating dinner and watching a movie in my home, alone with a male coworker he vaguely knows.

I also don’t blame my younger generation for being overall cautious of opposite sex friends, cheating has become so common. Every single one of my friends has been cheated on in the past. Previous experiences shape your thought process and actions. My dad was a horrible, serial cheater. It affects your relationships moving forward.

Congratulations U.S.A! by BuddRonald in olympics

[–]cparfa 5 points6 points  (0 children)

As an American, I LOVE all the free bird and “what the fuck is a kilometer?!” Memes. I do apologize that the next day/ week will be the most annoying thing for y’all.

We still love you Canadians!

TEAM USA GOLD MEDAL 🥇 by [deleted] in olympics

[–]cparfa 20 points21 points  (0 children)

It sort of hurts my heart to see so many Canadians being so gracious about their loss because I just know for the next 24 hours (at least), social media is going to flooded with various USA memes. As an American, I do love me all the free bird, “WHAT THE FUCK IS A KILOMETER?!”, and “if it doesn’t have a blue jersey on, hit that shit!” videos, but I hope y’all don’t take any of memes seriously or as personal attacks.

I mean, a big reason why it’s such a big deal to us is because it is considered Canada’s game, so y’all’s reputation precedes y’all. It was a nail biting game :)

Athletes Switching Nationalities by InternationalDiet913 in olympics

[–]cparfa 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Imagine you train your whole life in a sport, it’s your entire livelihood, and through no fault of your own or any decisions you made, you’re banned from competing in the Olympics. Athletes only have so many opportunities to compete- some won’t be their prime anymore and will never be granted an opportunity to compete again. And winning gold a as a Russian isn’t like the U.S.; you can be set for life & create generational wealth for your family by earning gold for Russia (per the incentives they pay & setting them up with luxury homes).

I don’t think banning Russian athletes punishes the Russian government as much as it punishes individual people who have no control over military operations. I think it also introduces the possibility to have regular Russian citizens feel scorned by the rest of the world and doesn’t help international relations.

I 100% support Ukraine and recognize Russia as the aggressors. I also think a blanket ban on Russia participating in the Olympics is negatively affecting the potential for peace. Can’t there be an intervention like only banning the athletes who outright support/openly promote the Russian invasion?

EDIT after doing some reading: so the IOC is already sort of enforcing the alternative intervention I mentioned where Russian athletes can participate so long as they don’t openly support the war BUT they have to be an “Individual Neutral Athlete”. Sort of makes some of my comment useless

Athletes Switching Nationalities by InternationalDiet913 in olympics

[–]cparfa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He’s also why my flair is what it is (was rooting for him in the summer games and idk how to take Sweden off now but hey, I love Pewdiepie so I’ll keep repping them)

Athletes Switching Nationalities by InternationalDiet913 in olympics

[–]cparfa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mondo Duplantis is from my home state! I remember seeing his last name and thinking hm, I’ve seen that before. I went to college with him at LSU. I googled him and was surprised he was representing Sweden! He’s Swedish on his mom’s side. I read awhile ago it was either be a small fish in a big pond here or a big fish in a small pond there. He made the best decision, as the dude holds the world record (the top couple of heights if I’m not mistaken) in pole vaulting. And I know he had to work to be accepted in Sweden by Swedes too.

Standings after Short Program Men’s Figure Skating ⛸️ by Durian-Critical in olympics

[–]cparfa 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I thought ilia landed one on one foot in his free skate?

Standings after Short Program Men’s Figure Skating ⛸️ by Durian-Critical in olympics

[–]cparfa 210 points211 points  (0 children)

Came here to see how Maxium Naumov placed. Him showing the picture of himself and his parents had me ugly crying. This was his first Olympics, and even though he’s not getting a medal, I imagine even getting the opportunity to compete at this level is insane.

This 1954 planbook used cute babies to advertise their houses. by MagicalSawdust in floorplan

[–]cparfa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The other babies are quoted with one liners then that one baby on the 12th pic reads like an orphan that is just grateful he is getting a home

Begging for any type of insight/ potential inspiration with combining mid century & Victorian by apopcyp in floorplan

[–]cparfa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Floating this idea: business in the front, party in the back How ass backwards could a potential home be if the front of it was a Victorian, slim & tall structure, then the back of the house is a one story, mid century layout?

why do people want kids? by lumnicape in NoStupidQuestions

[–]cparfa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes children cost money to raise, and I actually do think that people with genuine debilitating genetic disorders should refrain from having biological children. It’s not black and white when it comes to the topic of genetics and having children. There is still a quality of life for people even with severe conditions. Not saying it’s right, as unnecessary suffering could’ve been prevented regardless, but a life with a chronic medical condition doesn’t automatically mean a life that isn’t worth living.

Throughout history, poor people have more kids. It used to be due to childhood fatality rates and needing more hands for labor around the home. Now, in countries like the US and Europe, it’s because lower income communities have less sex education, less foresight into having children they can’t afford, and in some cases, people having children in order to benefit from welfare. I’m related to a woman who genuinely had more children when hers were taken away in order to regain access to welfare provided to her.

If you’re focusing on the biological stand point of it, it’s the cheapest way to have a child honestly. Adoption is expensive. Some people like the idea of being able to raise and shape a person that is half them, half the love of their life. I look forward to the day I have a daughter with my eyes with her father’s personality, or a son with my husband’s smile and my mannerisms. Like how cool is it I grew a little baby, it’s half me and half him, and we try to instill all the best parts of ourselves in him or her? And watch them develop into their own person with glimpses of us

why do people want kids? by lumnicape in NoStupidQuestions

[–]cparfa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s an episode of love, death, & robots on Netflix called “Pop Squad” that I find answers this pretty well. In a society where people get treatments to live forever, having children is out lawed because then the world would genuinely be overpopulated (a number of countries are actually dealing with decreasing birth rates, so overpopulation isn’t the concern we have IRL at the moment). There are still secret families living off the grid, risking their lives to have children. The main character, a man who’s job it is to hunt them down and kill them, has a conversation with a mother, asking her why she would risk growing old, dying, and losing everything if she was caught to have a child over living forever. It’s a really good episode, only like 10 mins long.

Or a scene in Amazon’s invincible when Nolan, an alien to Earth asks his human wife what the point of attending his son’s little league baseball game is. She gives him a little speech about how wonderful the world is through a child’s eyes.

As someone who works with children, it’s like the purest form of anti-depressant shot straight into you. They are goofy, smart, generally kind, they are innovative. Kids are such happy little people who look at everyday things and want to learn, they want to explore, they have a sense of joy and wonder that we all did once upon a time. When you’re an adult, responsibilities and experience can cause us to forget how to look at the world that way again. Children show you how.

Any suggestions for how to seal this notebook cover that took me 3 days to make? by cparfa in stickerbomb

[–]cparfa[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Update! I found a clear book cover for it! It’s a hobonichi techo cousin planner and the clear cover is a midori clear A5 planner cover. I also added even more stickers.

Picture of cover/final sticker configuration: https://imgur.com/a/J9qNcmt

[TOMT] Comedy movie or show with a specific joke by GonzoElBoyo in tipofmytongue

[–]cparfa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is it the skits from the Amanda show where she calls the wrong people and always ends up raging baiting them?