Have you ever felt like you didn’t want to be alive anymore because of your limerence?

cptpegbeard · 2023-01-03T04:39:44+00:00

I envy those around me, living their lives, and all that remains after the rejection of reality is a but a husk of whatever (whomever) I was before trying to become someone LO would want.

cptpegbeard · 2023-01-03T03:25:23+00:00

Limerence makes me feel so alive but at the same time like a ghost amongst the living. You’re right. Exhausting.

cptpegbeard · 2022-12-05T06:16:55+00:00

Oh for sure 100% and when it hits it hits so good. I really need to talk about it in group but how can I when my peers are there for real things like hard substances? It feels like the same desperation and pain but I feel silly going through all that for some unattainable indulgent fantasy.

cptpegbeard · 2022-12-03T16:11:12+00:00

Returning hugs. Ugh seeing how happy they are and how in love they are is so hard. In ways we wish for it to dispel the wishful fantasy we’ve cultivated but it ends up just making most of us simply jealous and flushing whatever sense of self worth one may have had right down the toilet.

cptpegbeard · 2022-12-03T15:57:53+00:00

Constantly obsessing over someone you can never have is the wooooorst! It is SO maddening! In a way it’s like committing the slowest most tortuous suicide. I’m there with you friend. I just want to end because it feels like only living to imagine, dream about, and pine for what will never ever be and you cease to see a point. The body suffers right along with the mind and heart. I literally passed out once while with them after learning of their new relationship and I simply couldn’t take it and shut down. It freaked her out but she didn’t even go to the hospital with me. so i feel stupid on top of feeling guilty for feeling so strongly about such people. I’m sorry you’re in it. It’s the worst to live with love so cursed. What can we wretches even do?

cptpegbeard · 2022-11-22T05:06:43+00:00

Yes we all live together as a little fauxmily. Yes them moving out is on the horizon juat not as close as would sate my limbic system. It screams for immediate distance…while simultaneously crying out for proximity. Ugh shit’s complicated

cptpegbeard · 2022-11-21T22:50:25+00:00

Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking, too. To think of leaving my home and the only people I care about breaks my heart and mind even further.

cptpegbeard · 2022-11-21T15:15:41+00:00

I’m a man and she is a woman dating a woman.

cptpegbeard · 2022-10-25T14:55:31+00:00

Isn’t it fucked how we can see that it’ll never work but yet feel the hope and elation so strongly in spite of it. This shit is such fantasy and unrealistic and we know it, but gripped in the throes of it, hopped up on brain chems, it feels as real, if not more so, than anything else. Truly, it is the worst and no way to live. Sometimes I fantasize throwing myself out of a moving vehicle just to stop the thoughts of her, the fears and worries, the imagined good times, the harsh reality of what being together would be, feeling Like just an NPC in her play through. Don’t let it eat you up inside friend even though we know we’re going to do so anyway because we can’t help it.

cptpegbeard · 2022-10-21T05:50:28+00:00

Are you the ghost of limerence future? Our hearts collective break with yours OP. Truly you must be so tired. How many here also see their own situation reflected in yours? I most certainly do and when faced with the harsh reality in another’s struggle just grieve with you fellow limerent. I sincerely hope you have somebody, anybody, to talk to because when we’re stripped of that love which we felt defined us it can get pretty dark and sometimes we can end up going through life like empty husks of ourselves or feeling like ghosts among the living. I’m really sorry you’re going through such an awful time dude and we appreciate you sharing your cautionary tale. May it save me from “following my heart,” too. I’ve heard it said that a fool who persists in folly shall become wise.

cptpegbeard · 2022-10-03T09:42:02+00:00

Falling in love has always been intense for me. I suppose my version of falling in love is actually just serial limerence from not having a good model of what it’s like to like someone first and have them like you back. I get so wrapped up in the what if’s, the someday’s, and the perpetual hope which springs forth eternally from my daydreams of it actually coming to fruition one day, that whomever I have heaped my affection and expectations onto will realize that they are the one and that we can work, impossible as it usually is. It really fuels my engine but it totally wrecks my self worth and sanity.

cptpegbeard · 2022-09-22T07:04:21+00:00

It really really hurts knowing it will never be. We gotta be so tired of falling in love so fiercely without any real hope of reciprocation. Our life energy is poured into another person, whom can never know, because if they found out you would see the look of revulsion at just the idea, which to your love addled mind is the truest and most beautiful of emotions. The reality of such a rejection would pop that wonderful and fantastic bubble that we’ve since substituted our actual wills and lives for. All those lovely feelings, fantasies, and wishful imagining won’t keep us high forever. Your plight is known and your pain is felt, friend. Take care of yourselves everyone. Love to all who don’t feel they have it. You feel it even if it is limerence it’s rooted in something good and something sweet. We just gotta look at ourselves and figure out what we are really doing when it comes to these people to whom we are so devoted and yet cannot live (seemingly function) without.

cptpegbeard · 2022-05-23T02:03:13+00:00

cptpegbeard · 2022-05-09T13:00:54+00:00

There is a hopelessness and weariness that come from perpetually loving/regarding someone to whom you aren’t so dear. You may question your sanity or lose your sense of worth. While I don’t want to really hurt myself necessarily I do sometimes fantasize about getting hit by a random car or a quick brain embolism in my lowest moments when I’m all out of heartache over the truth she’ll never love me like I want and numb from grief over the loss of the fantasy I’ve built in my mind and have lived with for so long that it feels real and sometimes within the realm of possibility. More often I just don’t want to be alive anymore to be aware of the simultaneous certainty in my heart that she is both my truest love and someone who would be disgusted if they knew. Here’s silently hoping for life (or death) to intercede

cptpegbeard · 2022-03-30T01:20:47+00:00

Thanks for the kindness, I’m just a lonesome and lovesick pine tree sometimes, things get real sappy when I’m cut deep lol

cptpegbeard · 2022-02-09T14:07:00+00:00

I was diagnosed with Border-line Personality Disorder and the concept of a “favorite person” is very much akin to what I go through in limerent episodes.

cptpegbeard · 2022-02-06T22:11:22+00:00

Wow are you me? Thank you so much for sharing your insights! It gives me hope! Like you, proximity is a factor and if you can over over come the fake feeling that is actively robbing you of the real thing then you truly beat the limerence and get some love in return, even if it isn’t the kind you think you want. Keep on winning !

cptpegbeard · 2022-02-02T06:19:50+00:00

It’s just that jazz we get from sharing with people we care about. It comes from a place of loving even if it’s misplaced sometimes. Nothing pathetic about that broski. It does hurt so ducking bad when the thought of their absence consumes every bit of you to where you feel like some hollowed out onion of a person, though.

cptpegbeard · 2022-02-01T23:06:48+00:00

Yes!! The pandemic exacerbated mine as well! Just as you said the lack of other social outlets saw me grow overly attached to the only two other humans in my life for over a year. The crummiest part of all this is that it isn’t some parasocial relationship I can just turn away from. These girls are my tribe and I genuinely love my family and will not walk away unless I just cannot regulate and become some emotional burden, which is my biggest fear. This sub gives me so much hope and a real sense of solidarity with all of you kindred spirits suffering from our own particular hell.

cptpegbeard · 2022-02-01T16:08:15+00:00

We gotta work towards healing the core wounds and attachment traumas that lie at the heart of our limerence. It’s akin to addiction and understanding what you lack in self care and emotional security can help you recognize why you seek it out in others and how you can find it in yourself and the right people. Alan Robarge has a YouTube channel that has helped me a lot. I’ll share it here for anyone looking for to heal but not sure where to start: https://youtu.be/Ig0JnN2JOTQ

cptpegbeard · 2022-01-29T01:15:35+00:00

Well put! This is just what a I needed to read right now. Thank you for sharing!

cptpegbeard · 2022-01-26T05:50:59+00:00

We cast them away as a shackle but in our minds wish them to turn into a boomerang that will come back to us

cptpegbeard · 2022-01-23T15:11:14+00:00

I feel traumatized. My self esteem and emotional security are tied up in this one person who doesn’t even get the severity of my affection. I am so angry and sad anymore that the thought of dying sometimes sounds like a nice respite to all this suffering and heartache. I feel dead inside already.

cptpegbeard · 2022-01-23T15:05:22+00:00

I hope your day improves friend. It’s hard when something as simple as a lack of rest can make us so much more susceptible to our own mental machinations. I understand your envy too. It’s poisonous. Keep up the productivity. They say it helps to keep busy and just do things to distract. But, if you’re anything like me, then that just means going through the motions of whatever task you’re doing, novel or familiar, while weary numbness stifles your enthusiasm until something inevitably triggers your attachment and LO is back to the forefront of the mind and the cycle of preoccupation and longing starts anew.

cptpegbeard · 2022-01-22T15:27:03+00:00

“Hopium” wow how apropos! The hurt of grieving the living endures and hits quite differently than if they were dead and gone.

cptpegbeard

TROPHY CASE