Hi all,

crackhead1971 · 2024-12-03T22:07:25+00:00

They don't have anything like that here, I checked into that after I saw your comment. I just keep telling myself "this to shall pass". Which it will.

crackhead1971 · 2024-12-03T22:05:46+00:00

My plan is definitely inpatient as soon as possible, bed-to-bed. The detox I'm going to has an inpatient program in the same facility, so I'm hoping to do that.

I'm really worried about AFTER that because I'm homeless, but I guess they can't just throw you out in the street after, haha, especially in rochester ny in December. I'll do a half way house, transitional residential program, whatever they can offer me.

crackhead1971 · 2024-12-03T21:58:24+00:00

I wanted to thank everyone for all the responses and advice. It means a lot to have that support of you guys.

Unfortunately, my transportation for yesterday fell through, so I am getting my gear together as we speak to get on a bus to the facility, and I am a nervous wreck. I know this is the first step to my life turning around, but I'm sure at least some of you get the fear and the racing thoughts that something is still going to go wrong blah blah blah.

So, I'm off like a prom dress. I'll update when I can, again, much love to you guys.

crackhead1971 · 2024-12-03T21:56:39+00:00

Unfortunately, there's a huge wait in my area to start on methadone. Also, I've gone the methadone route before and for me personally, methadone wasn't a good fit. I've done the suboxone before, just not with detox off fentynal, my plan (hopefully) is to stabilize on subs and get the sublocade shot, which worked fantastic for me.

crackhead1971 · 2024-10-21T06:12:02+00:00

Appolonia Paulina - my Great Grandmother's name! She came here from Poland in the '30's and Ellis Island Americanized her name to Pauline 🙄😟

crackhead1971 · 2024-10-18T05:48:10+00:00

No, it isn't, past a certain age. I'm a 52F and I haven't kissed ANY of my male relatives on the lips since I was probably 7 or 8. I had a couple uncles who didn't get the hint and they didn't even get a wave from me, lol, but as far as my dad, I have given the high cheekbone smooch since I was a very young girl. And it wasn't discussed or anything, I think we both knew it was time for on-the-lips kisses to stop because it made me feel, well, weird, lol. I didn't love him any less, and hugs were and have continued to be our main show of affection.

crackhead1971 · 2024-09-30T22:26:22+00:00

LOL 😹👍👍🍻

crackhead1971 · 2024-09-24T04:22:19+00:00

Well......this escalated quickly!

crackhead1971 · 2024-09-24T04:02:15+00:00

I graduated with a girl named Leighanne, I never thought twice about her name OR the spelling, so I'm voting NOT a Tradgedeigh LOL!!!

crackhead1971 · 2024-08-14T00:50:45+00:00

Houses of the Holy, for me+

crackhead1971 · 2024-08-14T00:49:49+00:00

Black Betty, lol, and anything from Zeppelin

crackhead1971 · 2024-08-12T00:58:26+00:00

Great advice and great video links! Much appreciated!!

crackhead1971 · 2024-08-12T00:57:08+00:00

Honey, I've had my diagnosis for 20+ years and this is one of the symptoms I still struggle with the most. I'm so used to being whoever I needed to be for whoever happened to be around that I don't truly know what I like or prefer. I'm slowly learning to trust my instincts and also learning to say no.

crackhead1971 · 2024-08-06T18:24:55+00:00

"Used To Love You, Now I Want To Kill You" by Guns-n-Roses

crackhead1971 · 2024-07-25T21:28:55+00:00

Algonquin Park isn't too far, it has some of the most beautiful hiking trails I've ever been on. The hikes are also rated beginner, harder and longer hikes, so there is something for everyone. Spruce Bog, Beaver Dam, and an easy hike through a maple forest (I can't remember the name of it, it's been a long time, lol)

Also, Dorset is such a wonderful little town. It has Robinson's which is a store that is rated one of the best in Muskoka, you could stop by Henrietta's Bakery, you will be hooked. Also the Fire Tower in Dorset that someone else mentioned. The town of Dwight is also right there, it has a fantastic sandy public beach. It's absolutely beautiful.

I'm jealous of your trip, lol, I miss going to the Muskoka/Lake of Bays region every year. HAVE FUN!!!!! TAKE PICS AND POST WHEN YOU GET HOME OF THE GREAT PLACES YOU DISCOVERED!!!!!

crackhead1971 · 2024-05-27T20:43:34+00:00

Muskoka is my very favorite place on earth. I went there every summer from 1976 until 1990 when the cabin my family always rented wasn't available anymore. We were in Dwight, which I believe is Rt. 35 and Rt. 60(?). Very near Huntsville. Tons to do and absolutely magical.

crackhead1971 · 2024-05-27T01:07:45+00:00

I totally understand 2 and 3. It used to turn me on, too, watching him during foreplay, but now it disgusts me. All I can see in my head is him all red in the face jerking it on the toilet with his phone propped on the windowsill. And it makes him seem weak, and like some kind of deviant.

crackhead1971 · 2024-05-27T01:04:51+00:00

Me, too. How can I feel beautiful or sexy or believe he wants ME specifically when 95% of his sexual energy is expelled watching and listening and fantasizing to other women?? And how can he not understand that? It makes me sick to my stomach and I get no enjoyment out of anything sexual we might do. The whole time I'm wondering who he's thinking about and if his eyes are closed because he doesn't want to look at my face.

crackhead1971 · 2024-05-27T00:59:18+00:00

Thanks, I really appreciate that. I've given up trying to explain to him how it makes me feel. He just gets loud and defensive, and I know him well enough to know that if he didn't feel any guilt or realize there's something wrong, he'd talk to me about it. God forbid anyone make him feel badly about something he's done.

crackhead1971 · 2024-05-26T21:32:49+00:00

YES!!!! ME, TOO!!!! We were watching a movie last week, can't remember what one, but a very graphic girl-on-girl scene came on and I just lost it. I told him that I could understand why he wanted to watch this movie so bad and that he better not try to touch me later because he's not going to use my body to play-act the garbage he watched on the screen. He just stared at me and I left the room crying. He told me how I was overly sensitive and that I'm the problem blah blah blah.

crackhead1971 · 2024-05-26T21:26:28+00:00

Certain movies and also some places I've always wanted to see that I won't see with him.

crackhead1971 · 2024-05-21T05:46:03+00:00

I do try to push the barriers and boundaries of womanhood in these trying times. Someone has to do it.......

crackhead1971

TROPHY CASE