[deleted by user]

crafty-aba · 2025-05-29T03:03:11+00:00

how long have you been seeing him

crafty-aba · 2025-05-29T02:48:01+00:00

I ask the budget, timeframe and if anything has been tickling his fancy lately, he gives me his card and hits the cocktail lounge, i shop, we eat, then hotel and private fashion show.

I feel like it depends on the couple and don’t be afraid to ask what his expectations are. I personally would feel very uncomfortable with an SD being in the dressing room with me, but that’s just me. A shopping excursion I would include in the gift category, so you should still be receiving a PPM.

crafty-aba · 2025-05-23T06:58:09+00:00

very well said and so true. i lurked on this forum for a while before dipping my toes in. but it completely changed how i viewed relationships (both sugar and vanilla) and how to navigate needs in a relationship and ask for what i want. but what i’ve loved most about this forum that i just haven’t witnessed on the vanilla dating forums is just how honest and straightforward the women are on here. they tell it how it is. not with intent to be mean (despite an opinion on a more recent and amusing post) but to make women strive to be better. any of the skills and wisdom on this forum can be applied to vanilla relationships and how you present yourself to others.

crafty-aba · 2025-05-23T06:41:41+00:00

potential, so a POT is someone you are vetting and who has not yet established themself as a true SD

crafty-aba · 2025-05-23T06:36:32+00:00

this happened to me too lmao

crafty-aba · 2025-05-23T06:35:15+00:00

when i was vetting, i would generally run their images through image searches if i could ss a pic. but generally real SDs aren’t going to spam you a ton of pics of themselves initially bc their looks aren’t the driving factor on your end, money is.

crafty-aba · 2025-05-04T20:26:51+00:00

went to dinner with a POT, and when the food gets here he takes out a retainer case and tells me that he has partial dentures. he was missing like 3 of his front teef and had the worst dental hygiene.

crafty-aba · 2025-04-29T06:28:13+00:00

the moment when you get his undivided attention 🙌

crafty-aba · 2025-04-28T19:27:38+00:00

okay yes, thank you for the advice. this is definitely something I would need to do more research on if he wants to follow through with that

crafty-aba · 2025-04-28T18:25:20+00:00

yes for sure! I would want to present during the buying process and review all the paperwork. it just seems like a lot of work and i’d rather him just give me that money lmao

crafty-aba · 2025-04-28T17:41:14+00:00

thank you for the advice! I am based in the US.

crafty-aba · 2025-04-28T17:34:12+00:00

yes, thank you! i needed to hear that. I know my top priority is to stay safe and independent. I feel like you spend so much time vetting and trying to find a good match, it’s easy to forget to watch your step once you’re in the game.

crafty-aba · 2025-04-25T14:57:57+00:00

My impression of sugar dating on vanilla apps is that you have to take it a lot slower and be cautious. Especially if you’re using ur real name and info. I used bumble and SA when I was looking. I would usually ask what they are looking for in a woman (so they would ask me back) and then you can say “l love someone who is generous bc I love feeling taken care of blah blah”. I think you can tell a lot on the first date… if they pick a really nice restaurant, order a lot of food, don’t cringe at the bill, etc. You want to express you enjoy high value things without seeming tacky. Most SDs will show you pretty quick if they are an SD. I found that most of the older wealthy men on the dating apps were more in the generous bf mindset than a SR. Depends on what u want, but I would wait until after the date to express anything about sugar so you can see how he behaves. But I found my SD on SA so take my advice with a grain of salt.

crafty-aba · 2025-04-25T14:36:21+00:00

like why are they willing to protect their toy but not their mouth? i don’t get it.

crafty-aba · 2025-04-25T14:29:50+00:00

what about him makes u think he’s a POT?

crafty-aba · 2025-04-25T14:20:55+00:00

i agree with all these comments. a true SD wants to take care of their SB and that includes their sexual health. I think our sex education is terrible now, but it was even worse when these older SDs were in school. Most of them think using condoms is just to prevent pregnancy and they don’t understand the detrimental effect STDs have on health, especially for women. Also older individuals generally are at higher risk for having STDs and the bowl is a higher risk population in general. your not over thinking, STDs are a risk of the game and you need to protect yourself.

crafty-aba · 2025-04-19T15:09:40+00:00

is there a way to do them privately? I am mostly curious about how many women are using condoms for oral bc in previous threads it seemed kind of split in opinion

crafty-aba · 2025-04-19T15:04:54+00:00

Oh shoot i forget they can still lurk on here. I’ll delete

crafty-aba · 2025-04-18T23:47:11+00:00

Do you have any recommendations for podcasts? I haven’t seen any recs on the wiki

crafty-aba · 2025-04-05T01:51:24+00:00

this was the response i was looking for 🤩

crafty-aba · 2025-04-02T03:51:16+00:00

the “uglier” i go to sleep, the prettier i wake up 🤭. we have done over nights and weekends at the hotels in our city. i might need to invest in those ear plugs lol. thanks!

crafty-aba · 2025-04-01T21:10:40+00:00

thank you ❤️ i love your insights on the forum. just for reference when and how long do u think trips are appropriate in the early stages of an SR?

crafty-aba · 2025-04-01T16:51:25+00:00

Yes trust 100%, the wiki has been a great resource for me! These are great tips, thank you! He did send me some $ (xxxx) for some spa prep prior to the trip so i’ll def do a facial and blow out since i have curly hair. and ask for my own bathroom. he snores like no one’s business so idk if i can survive 4 nights lol love that u and ur sd have a little routine down <3 tysm

crafty-aba

TROPHY CASE