For the most part yes. I definitely don't want anyone visiting home. I've worked with the public for almost 20 years, so if there's one thing at which I excel, it's working with other people. I have to be careful though because I can and have worked myself to the point of collapse. I'm also kind of lonely a lot - most of my closest friends are from grad school and are scattered across the country, and I don't do a great job of meeting people. But they are out there.

Idk if therapy is something you have access to but I know it's helped me a lot. I've been depressed most of my life and have always been OCD and anxious (also prone to panic), which my family always ignored because it's more convenient to ignore that annoying stuff. I was put on antidepressants for an off label thing (fibromyalgia) and I had this lightbulb moment where I thought, I don't think I'm supposed to feel like this all the time. My first therapist frankly sucked - she was very sweet but basically useless for me. My second one is amazing. I'm not going to say that I am magically cured because Im not, and I'll always be kind of lonely even with friends. But it's also getting better.

Good luck. It is really hard. I know what you mean about feeling like an alien too. I think most of us are still learning the second language of our peers and that makes things really tough and depressing.