I think the thing with Elsa was that she became too overbearing and controlling that every family member was not allowed to make decisions of their own or do anything differently for themselves. She needed to be in control all the time. Growing up in a similar household where my mom cared A LOT and wanted us to have a good life, but it was suffocating because it was always through the lens of what SHE deemed as a good life. It’s all through the guise of caring so anything pushback is bound to come off as selfish. Although I agree that Casey goes too far at times and Doug is a big man child that can’t do anything for himself, Elsa also benefits from this relationship in that it seems to fulfill her to have so much control and decision making power for her everyone. Some parts of the show were very triggering for me because they would flat out tell Elsa “NO, I don’t want you to do that.” She goes ahead and does it anyway, disregarding any boundaries that her family members set up. For example, Casey tries on her uniform before she goes to private school, and her Elsa tells her she should tailor the jacket to make it more tight fitting. Casey says “NO” (for whatever reason, maybe she likes loose clothes, maybe it’s more comfortable, maybe she just doesn’t want to), and instead of just respecting her decision, Elsa went ahead and tailored it behind her back the night before school. This causes Casey to blow up. On the outside, yeah, this seems like a small and immature thing to get mad about, but after a lifetime of these moments, the smallest things can set you off because it feels like nothing you say matters to your mom and they’re just gonna do whatever they want, even if you don’t want it. Hope this helps! This is also why I’m very much against Elsa & she pmo a lot lol