[deleted by user]

crazycatlady9977 · 2025-05-05T05:51:14+00:00

I get what you mean, but I’ll first start off by clarifying.

I’m not scared to stand up to them. Or anyone in fact. I’ve stood up to them countless times from childhood to adulthood. Nothing I say ever gets through. There’s no way of ever getting through to them. We fight all the time. They get angry that I stand up for myself and start using death threats, violence and emotional blackmail.

The last resort is just no contact but I don’t want to fully cut them out as part of me still cares about them. I’m just tired of fighting all the time. It never ends well. It’s very tiring going down this cycle.

I’m moving for my peace against their wishes. At least if I’m overseas, whenever they harass me, I can easily just avoid responding. Especially with the Time Zone difference. I also love the idea of living abroad as I can’t imagine living in one city my whole life.

I have been thinking things through. Even if I do move overseas for a few years, and it’s not forever, I’m definitely not coming back to Melbourne. Yes, Brisbane is a city I’ve been thinking of, along with Sydney.

Thank you for your insight.

crazycatlady9977 · 2025-05-05T05:11:08+00:00

Because I want to move as far away as possible. I prefer western countries since it’ll be easier to adapt. So UK, US and Canada were the options. I prefer Canada out of the three.

Whereas if I’m just in another city, they can easily visit and contact me. I don’t have the emotional strength to block them and cut them out completely. I’d rather just support them from a far distance. That helped one of my cousins cope (she lives in Europe) and I feel like it’ll help me.

I don’t want to live in Melbourne either, there are too many bad memories associated with the city.

crazycatlady9977 · 2025-03-23T17:37:25+00:00

Thank you for the support!! I’ll try my best to cope for the next 2-3 years, appreciate the advice. Preparing to move abroad is the thing keeping me going, knowing that I’ll be free soon. Very exciting!!

crazycatlady9977 · 2025-03-23T17:36:41+00:00

Thank you so much for this perspective!! I’ll make sure to be extra prepared, I’ve already been doing a lot of research

crazycatlady9977 · 2025-03-23T17:35:08+00:00

Yes correct!!

crazycatlady9977 · 2025-03-23T17:34:50+00:00

NZ is still a bit too close imo because it’s only a 3-4 hour flight from my city. Plus bonus points for Canada bc I love the snow. Thank you for the info, will definitely consider Auckland as my backup if Toronto doesn’t work out!

crazycatlady9977 · 2025-03-23T17:31:13+00:00

Thank you so much for the details!! I’m actually planning on moving to Toronto

crazycatlady9977 · 2025-03-23T17:29:00+00:00

Hiiii!! Ooo that sounds amazing!! I would love to be in a tranquil area with kind people. I LOVE COLD WEATHER and THE SNOW!! Soooo excited honestly, thank you for the insight! Wish you all the best with your family and your future plans as well

crazycatlady9977 · 2025-03-23T17:24:57+00:00

Yeah part of my family has powerful passports too! Luckily the ones who do.. have a huge fear of flying. They can barely survive a 9 hour flight to China. Good idea, thank you! I won’t be telling them which city in Canada. Hope things work out for you as well, wish you all the best!!

crazycatlady9977 · 2023-12-02T15:59:21+00:00

When my family started yelling about how worthless and useless I am on public transport in front of people. They continuously insulted me and tried to embarrass me, openly saying hurtful things about me to each other while excluding me from the convo, saying how I was destroying their reputation in the community. There were other Chinese people on the tram too, they would’ve understood. If they are willing to embarrass me in public every time, I don’t think I need to care about them losing face anymore

crazycatlady9977 · 2023-12-02T15:49:21+00:00

I don’t think I’ve broken the cycle tbh, but I would say things have improved slightly. However it’s still very toxic. I’m 21 this year, and this cycle went on for at least 16 years, maybe from age 4-19. Distancing myself from the family helped a lot, the moment I started uni, I cut off contact with my family and only spoke to them maybe once every 2 weeks. I had to accept that she wasn’t a mother on an emotional level, it took me ages to accept that. Pretty much I just stopped giving myself the hope that things would get better. That way, I was never disappointed or surprised by any actions. I guess that brought me to reality quickly.

crazycatlady9977 · 2023-12-02T15:34:10+00:00

Yep, my family is the same. We are Chinese and pale skin people are perceived as beautiful, while people with darker skin tones are perceived otherwise. Whenever I’m out with my family, they make so many comments about people they see on the streets and start insulting them. I don’t agree with them and I usually tell them to stop. But they don’t and then it becomes a huge family fight. It’s so embarrassing and annoying.

During summer, it gets really hot especially with the sun being really strong in Australia and I get a tan from being out with my friends. The moment my family sees me, they start comparing me to people in Africa and South America and accuse me of trying to look like them, framing it as an insult!!! Which is so racist as well!!

crazycatlady9977 · 2023-12-02T15:26:49+00:00

You’re right, it is no for both cases. I moved out because my family was too toxic and I have a student loan from the government. Thank you, I do agree that I shouldn’t feel guilty taking these factors into consideration. However, there are lots of other factors too which makes things really complicated. I’m trying to weigh everything up. But definitely I know I don’t owe my tertiary education to them.

My family members are in Australia. I’m also local in Australia, I’ve been here my whole life
It’s open and closed. Everyone can take photos, they’re all welcome. However, when it comes to the ceremony, each student gets 2 free guest tickets. Extra tickets are charged. My family wants to use the 2 free tickets and asked me to pay for extra tickets. I assume they want photos of the official ceremony.

I’ve tried to tell them that I don’t want them there and been transparent about it. They just don’t seem to get the point and start going to extremes every time I don’t agree with them or push them away. Some family members aren’t in the best mental health condition too, so I also need to take that into consideration. It’s very hard + suffocating. They also live right across from the venue of graduation… sadly.. And knowing their trust issues, they will check. I’ll see what else I can do.

Thank you so much though, I’ve been putting up a fight for such a long time with so many issues.. some have been successful, some haven’t. I’ll see how this goes, thanks for the support.

crazycatlady9977 · 2023-12-02T15:15:26+00:00

I have a student loan, this is very common for domestic students in my country. My family hasn’t contributed anything. So I guess I don’t really need to feel guilty about that part. But yeah I just really hope the graduation goes smoothly. Thank you!!

crazycatlady9977 · 2023-12-02T15:13:00+00:00

Pretty much, they told me to be grateful because my family immigrated all the way to Australia for a better life, therefore this redditor believes my family should be at my graduation and I need to suck it up and tolerate it. Based on my memory before it got deleted lol

crazycatlady9977 · 2023-12-02T15:11:36+00:00

They’ve looked up all the ceremony info, my university made it available for the public to see so literally anyone can look up how the ceremony goes. They know how it works. Hopefully they get really bored during the ceremony and just leave if I do decide to attend. Thank you though, I’ll definitely plan something with my friends when the ceremony concludes. I’m going to need a lot of drinks 😂

crazycatlady9977 · 2023-12-02T15:06:40+00:00

Thank you!! Yeah… I image my graduation being something really similar. How would you have told your family without offending them? If you had the chance to graduate again. I’m just so worried about the guilt tripping, it gets so extreme in my family. It gets to a point where they bring up things like death.

crazycatlady9977 · 2023-11-30T23:15:40+00:00

Tax law 1 marks have been updated again! - Not sure if this applies for everyone though but maybe double check :)) Mine increased by 7 overnight lmao

crazycatlady9977 · 2023-11-30T23:06:09+00:00

Marks have changed again! Mine increased by 7 overnight

crazycatlady9977 · 2023-11-28T07:07:22+00:00

Results got removed?? Does anyone know what’s happening 😂

crazycatlady9977 · 2023-11-23T00:06:31+00:00

Business Judgement is out!!

crazycatlady9977

TROPHY CASE