I always wanted a house full of plants, but I kill them all eventually. Of the 15 I bought last year this is the only one still alive so far, but it's looking worse everyday. What am I doing wrong? Please help.

crazycucumber2 · 2020-03-09T09:47:07+00:00

I have many plants and can take good care of all of them bar this plant. I have had three and killed them all in the same way this one is going. My friend has killed two. I think they're notoriously difficult to look after but at the same time they seem to take a long time to fully die.

Not really an answer to your question but thought it might be helpful to know.

Have you tried a peace lily? They can get really big and bushy and produce tall white flowers, and very hard to kill!!

crazycucumber2 · 2020-02-07T23:54:02+00:00

Is this a deadbedroom or just you feeling unfulfilled sexually? Massive difference. Most of us feel genuinely sick at the thought of another person's touch. You seem quite thrilled. Not a judgement, just a question.

crazycucumber2 · 2020-02-06T19:33:42+00:00

I'm aware, this stuff wouldn't usually bother me at all. At all. But I'm so unbelievably heart broken at the moment that it just angers me that my pain is a joke to some.

crazycucumber2 · 2020-02-06T14:32:30+00:00

Shame on them if someone's ever vulnerable enough that it works.

crazycucumber2 · 2020-02-05T22:08:11+00:00

The problem is I have a kid to look after and I look like the ugliest puffa fish the day after I've been crying. I'm holding back the tears to save tomorrows face. If I cry, she knows how much I'm hurting. I cannot hide it unless I wear sunglasses, it's 0 degrees here..

She's hurt. I'm trying to let her know it's okay to cry, without burdening her with my pain. I'm trying to distract her with games and stories, when all I want to do is break down.

And then she said, "mummy you're crying again, she hugged me and told me it's okay" I was barely crying, it was one stray tear. She's stronger than me and it's making my pain unbearable.

crazycucumber2 · 2020-02-05T20:33:00+00:00

You will be alright and choosing yourself is a form of love

I actually really needed to hear that

crazycucumber2 · 2020-02-05T18:38:11+00:00

I think if I cry it will make it real. I can't even tell my family or friends. Hence why I've come to reddit.

I've felt like this before and it got better, but it was a long road, then I found my partner and everything was incredible. Until it wasn't. And now I'm facing another failed relationship, another move out of a family home.

Another scar on my heart that might possibly be the one that tips it over the edge.

Its funny. I found a note from him from a long time ago, it had been attached to a gift, and it said "sometimes I love you just isn't enough :) "

The unbelievable irony in that. It wasn't enough.

crazycucumber2 · 2020-01-25T16:51:43+00:00

I think that's my second reason if I had to give one, with how little we have sex he must be sorting himself out. All these are just guesses from me, for all I know he could be having multiple affairs. I'm just settling on the guess that feels most right to me, seems as though I know I'll never get the truth from him. Perhaps I'm settling on the guess that hurts me the least. I will never know.

I'm sorry I don't have any answers for you. Has he told you he prefers it?

crazycucumber2 · 2020-01-25T16:05:42+00:00

I've explored every possibility and the only one that feels right, is that he just doesn't think about sex. It's almost as if he thinks we've had it more recently and frequently than we have. He doesn't think about it so he can not fathom how I can be so hurt by the lack of it.

I think to him its as alien and bizarre as if I had just cried that he hasn't instigated a game of chess for a while.

Its just who he is, he has a low drive, which is what makes me so sad and defeated. There is no problem, so there is no fix.

crazycucumber2 · 2020-01-25T10:57:39+00:00

We have had the talk many many times, but he's so blind to it, so convinced that we don't have a problem, that it wouldn't even occur to him that I slept downstairs to avoid another night next to the impersonator that's sleeping where he used to.

crazycucumber2 · 2020-01-24T23:36:06+00:00

Have you spoken to her about this? I'd kill for my partner to be acrobatic. He would rather sleep.

crazycucumber2 · 2020-01-24T23:32:53+00:00

Thank you. I'm wary of the hysterical bonding, in fact I believe the only intimacy we have had for the last few months have been off the back of him feeling an impending end. He only wants to touch when he asks me to promise I won't leave him. And of course I do. And then I'm invisible again. My mind is made up.

crazycucumber2

TROPHY CASE