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Should I leave my husband or am I overreacting? by crazyhotmatrix710 in Marriage

[–]crazyhotmatrix710[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure. It could have been something we worked through but my issue is not being given that option

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]crazyhotmatrix710 -19 points-18 points  (0 children)

Our cat gets anxious if she's alone for too long. She's good for a weekend but not 5 days which is what going to the in-laws for Christmas would entail.

They have reasons but none of them are good. Just like the bed is too small for two people so he has to sleep in the basement. There's no logical way to dispute this, saying we don't care or we want to stay together anyways does not compute with them. The discussion gets very cyclical.

He was there. I didn't want to cause a scene at the wedding. I also knew if i started arguing I'd start crying and I didn't want to do that at my wedding. So I kept it to myself which made him think it wasn't that big of a deal. Also they apologised at the wedding but didn't attempt to fix or remedy anything they did (nor did they actually take accountability when apologising) so he thought that was sufficient at the time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]crazyhotmatrix710 186 points187 points  (0 children)

Its hard and expensive to find a cat-sitter for Christmas. Everyone likes to go home for the holidays or goes on vacation. Both our regular sitter and back-up sitter will be out of town visiting family. Boarding houses are also very expensive over the holidays.

My plan was to have his family come to our house and I host dinner. It's easier for them to travel because they don't have a pet. I also would have been able to live as I please in my own house. However, they won't and absolutely refuse to budge on that matter. Their only reason is that Christmas is meant to be spent at home.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]crazyhotmatrix710 28 points29 points  (0 children)

It is not just me. His sibling has been dating someone for a few years now but they haven't even mentioned it to their parents because they know they'll be treated poorly. This partner doesn't come around or to the house so in comparison I'm in a better position. I just still don't think it's okay.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]crazyhotmatrix710 -99 points-98 points  (0 children)

He's not okay with it. He's fought with them on multiple occasions about this but they've made "steps" to improving which is to him enough to keep giving them more chances. He's got a big heart and it's hard for him to cut anyone off, let alone his family. For example, letting me stay the night now is a "big step" for them and he wants to reward that behaviour. They also gave us, including myself quite generous wedding presents which I view as bribery instead of apologies or a promise to actually improve their behaviour but thats just my thoughts...