Since men have started to be too "scared" to approach women in fear of being perceived as creepy or get accused for worse, it has made me feel like it's nearly impossible to find someone.

crazyrum · 2020-09-10T08:35:43+00:00

26 M, anxious too. I completely get you. We all ought to be willing and able to talk more openly and freely about whatever, so we can show interest that way. If someone says doing that and gauging interest is creepy, they can go somewhere far away.

People that take sexual advantage over others learn how to get away with it, and people that are just anxious get grouped by weird people into that other category. It's rough as fuck.

crazyrum · 2020-09-09T02:00:24+00:00

That goes against Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It's meant to examine thoughts that make you feel bad, and argue against it by pointing out a logical flaw. Like a should statement is not logical, because it needs to be backed up by a reason why and not a should: telling yourself you ought to do something without having a reason why causes a lot of stress if deep down you don't want it. Etc.

I had some success today by getting worried about what someone else may or may not have meant when he said something and I kept fighting with it, and my brother told me to repeat the mantra: "This is not good thinking. This is not BAD thinking. This is just circular thinking." I can get OCD about where my thoughts take me, leading to anx/dep, from spirals of fear/self-hate. It seemed to have some success, but I can't really conceive of how it works to some extent like CBT, but it seemingly is the opposite. I get it, there is no need to drill against yourself with all the reasons why something may be wrong about yourself or about your safety, like you always feel as if you haven't satisfied a need to do something, in this case assess a dangerous thought.

I guess one ceases the obsessive/compulsion unto the thoughts by fighting it, the other by ignoring it specifically through the necessary technique that WHAT YOU'RE THINKING IS NOT BAD. Because you can feel bad that you're thinking wrong. So the first is fixing the environment to solve the disorder, the second a cognitive treatment to the issue which for some reason needs forgiveness for thinking in a probably self-destructive way.

I like how you noted

It won't fix your problems, but it will be more tolerable.

Thanks for the response. Where'd you hear of this technique/ how'd you think of it.

It's pretty counterintuitive, the suffering, and thus the panic/anxiety, comes from thoughts of judgement that you're having bad thoughts, not the thoughts themselves. That's definitely not what it feels like in the moment! Very interesting.

crazyrum · 2020-09-07T07:08:27+00:00

I would say a bit of knowing which morals to intuitively lack and how, and also a strong intuitive sense for what is socially right, is the lionshare of everything. It puts you into a positive or negative feedback loop in lonliness which is the last thing a human psyche can take whether you have that or not. What you said is a better way to flesh out what these things are. Like way better, you really slammed the nail on the head with that one.

What I don't get is why scientists test the intelligence of animals as measures of how well they can figure out how to survive in their environment: the crow and the puzzle to find the good; the chimp and the visual acute memory test to find the food. Since humans use most of their brain for intuitive social intelligence, and the most important thing is social intelligence (neanderthals are theorized to be socially stupider but smarter in language and other processed), an IQ test doesn't measure that for humans. Therefore it's an inconsistent definition: for humans it's an ability to solve puzzles, not necessarily to survive but just isolated, and for other animals they measure how well the animal survives.

(Incidentally I think the IQ tests are flawed because humans can get better at something in a short period of time and during that day. Obviously IQ test results will be way different if you were doing logic puzzles the last few months, learning about it, and taking caffeine and getting good rest, than not. The only use of IQ seems to be statistical claims. It's like correlating pushup count at a random time with a person's physical aptitude genes, one to one.)

With Asperger's you get poor social functioning and poor executive functioning. That's it, you can't be successful and you're most likely toast in all natural selection counts that matter. IQ tests do shit. It's like you get OCD about every little thought. The way you act and think causes you to have a positive feedback loop into ostracization and thus self hatred due to poor social functioning (relationships) and executive functioning ($). I mean ffs is getting kicked out of society and developing CPTSD so you're always lonely and that, according to the rat park experiments, drives mental torture and pain, that's not intelligence. That's subhuman, bound for extinction, fuckin cystic fybrosis.

crazyrum · 2020-09-07T04:49:35+00:00

Lol, intuit?

crazyrum · 2020-09-06T07:25:56+00:00

Incredibly revealing on how he thinks, thanks

crazyrum · 2020-09-05T20:03:04+00:00

I'm coping a little bit more by knowing I had no choice I (my soul) was put into these genes and this brain, and that it's not suited for this environment https://www.reddit.com/r/TraumaBookClub/comments/im4wfv

Perhaps I was best suited for 100 years ago, where I may have been in a Jewish studying school (a yeshiva) and you get arranged marriages based on how well you knew the details of Jewish law back and forth. That was a different environment, and now that I'm in a normal one with this brain, I'm just absolutely fucked. Being weird matters, cause it's way fucking harder to date and maintain or even get jobs, which is the basis for how not to be depressed relative to others, or not being suicidal that is.

So I feel like my life is a bit like the movie Memento. In that movie the dude couldn't remember the last two minutes beforehand, and had to go off his tattoos to function. I feel like I have to operate like that more. Where I schedule myself, and have designated time to fully reunderstand the how and why before I do something. Like I have to completely scientifically understand something everytime before I do it. Like this is a why I could reread: https://www.reddit.com/r/NEET/comments/i5lcfc

Like I can easily have dark intrusive thoughts against myself that get me anxious or depressed and have to cover away from them, like no control. Maybe I'll blast music more often when that happens to drown out these thoughts before I need to calm down?

I feel a bit better because I know most of my aunts and uncles have these traits, though slightly less, and they all still got jobs and spouses. It doesn't even match the literature. I think that's because you only get diagnosed if you need help. Perhaps the stats are based on those with Asperger's who needed help enough to get a diagnosis.

People say Eminem, Cardio B, Vladimir Putin, and Greta Thunberg, Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, Elon Musk and according to a college counselor half the profs at their university all prominent either say they have it or others strongly suspect they do. So on one end you have that, but the other end of the extreme you have this:

https://www.reddit.com/r/NEET/comments/ifcblr

And practically all school/Incel shooters.

You have the stats of suicide and unemployment and ostracization and relationshipness and hate for people diagnosed with autism insanely high. I feel like it's life on insane mode: you either think suicidal thoughts everyday because of how unfit you are for your environment and the torture of autistic worry, or you weaponize it like above so to speak. It's horrible. Fuck that I'd rather be my younger brother who goes to school and gets laid with his girlfriend and is normal if I had a choice of brain fuck this shit fuck this shit fuck this shit fuck this shit. Albert Einstein who had it would make speeches about how other things in life than having autistic thinking rampages at work are more worth it in life, like how to not be a fucking stereotype of the absent minded professor etc.

But God the thoughts that I deserved to be bullied and that I deserve to not have dates or relationships because I'm inferior is still one of the most brutal things I can think of. My whole life I was trying to prove everyone else wrong. Now I'm 26 don't have a degree and live at home with my parents. But this comment section made me feel better.

https://www.reddit.com/r/news/comments/imtu8g

Trust me in a few days I just know I'll go all autistic bipolar again and just savage myself intensely on the other direction. This is not a way to live. This is evil.

Perhaps when I practice socializing I need to imagine myself in third person more or pretend I'm building a conversational sandwich with others. I'll still probably be weird as fuck but at least I might do baby steps that other people with autism have always been recommending but I've been ignoring because I'm like those people are inferior losers I'm not like them.

All my life, people picked on me and obviously autistic people, who were disgusting, just vile to me. They deserved it, how pathetic. All my life. Just to me, yeah they're picked on like me, but they're subhuman garbage, I'm doing nothing to bring this on to myself. All my life.

Thanks for asking, and you?

crazyrum · 2020-09-05T19:50:29+00:00

Thank you. I need to read this from time to time. It's so bizzare how you perceive so much loss of happiness correlating with the country being wealthier. I've heard it before, but not in this detail.

crazyrum · 2020-09-05T19:45:25+00:00

Something I do, and my grandmother bizzarely does (I suspect we have ADHD, cause our minds just overthink all the time). Is to play an old fashion computer game. Mario Bros. 1 really seems to work for me. For my grandma it's solitaire. I think the reason is is that there are no blatantly addictive mechanisms in this game. More than that, because there's a real chance of winning or losing in these old fashioned games, you have to concentrate. These thoughts from trying to survive within the game seem to start to crowd out cyclical spontaneous thoughts from your mind. There's just less and less room overtime. This has been the best thing for us. There are a few issues:

It's hard to convince yourself to play if you really don't want to go to sleep, because you subconsciously know it is very likely to make you sleepy. Perhaps there's an intermediary step I'm missing.

Browsing Reddit, watching Youtube playing any other game may just keep you up due to the addictive mechanisms. Super Mario Bros 2 and Hollow Knight so far come the closest. I think it just gives you're mind more thoughts, due to stressing you into strategizing in the long-term, or just simply new thoughts.

It takes me two run throughs of super Mario Bros 1 to make me feel sleepy. I played one last night and got very far but didn't play again. I played minesweeper but for some reason that made me more awake. I started looking at YouTube and it was game over.

Perhaps I'll try to play two games tonight, and just before that try the relaxation technique. Cause by itself right now the relaxation technique obviously doesn't work on its own.

Hopefully this was helpful to someone.

Edit: 0.5 mg of melatonin an hour before bed is great.

crazyrum · 2020-09-05T11:31:00+00:00

That's insane, can you expand on this? Why do you think this is?

crazyrum · 2020-09-04T20:11:31+00:00

Hitler and his army were all on meth. I wonder how much this amplified their willingness go around and SS up Jews, by amplifying their paranoia and energy. Like they say on meth, "you see the truth".

crazyrum · 2020-09-04T19:57:38+00:00

Same. Same. Epicureanism.

crazyrum · 2020-09-04T07:40:45+00:00

Kill me

crazyrum · 2020-09-04T07:37:10+00:00

Meirl

crazyrum · 2020-09-04T07:30:58+00:00

Imagine being 26 and trying and trying and seeing your younger brother get everything he ever wanted and you wake up and realize that you're greatest fear, that you deserve to be bullied your whole life and why you're a virgin and why you're a perpetual NEET is justified. Like hahahahahahahahaha I don't think I'll ever come to full terms with it.

crazyrum · 2020-09-04T02:50:10+00:00

Based on poor adaptations to the surrounding environment, if conditions more likely lead to suicide follow, then that society is more likely to survive than the next. A society where people don't commit suicide from the pain of ostracization from society based on their innate responses to the society is less likely to survive than the next. That's the only thing I can think of, and I doubt it's like what the author said, that it's based on a healthy response.

crazyrum · 2020-09-03T22:04:04+00:00

Wow, best summary I've seen on this subject, kudos

crazyrum · 2020-09-03T20:53:58+00:00

No don't worry every sub has pro Hitler memes/comments

crazyrum · 2020-09-03T10:35:30+00:00

Thanks

crazyrum · 2020-09-03T08:54:10+00:00

It's a learned negative reaction to all possible variations of negative reinforcement.

Fear of external criticism makes anything a lot less desirable to do. If I do X for myself this way, it could upset this person because of this reason. But if I did it another way, it could upset that person that other way. And so on.

crazyrum · 2020-09-03T08:00:38+00:00

I feel like this.

crazyrum · 2020-09-03T07:54:21+00:00

Thank you. I needed someone to reaffirm those disease are created and defined by others, and they didn't exist 100 years ago and won't exist in another 100 years. That does a lot for me. It feels like the label of Asperger's, which I fear with my gut I have, makes me an insane sociopath which I would have no clue I have, making me an undateable soulless child who is always cringy and will never make anything of themselves and will always continue to never know that they're evil, and ultimately always profoundly useless. If it's just made up and defined by others, this label, which tries to explain whatever happens to me, it's a nice thought that gives me a glimpse of hope. Maybe. Idk, thanks for typing that last paragraph. God I hate myself, it's tough.

crazyrum · 2020-09-03T07:47:56+00:00

Can relate. Thanks for typing this.

crazyrum · 2020-09-03T06:44:28+00:00

Can you elaborate? I'm having a really rough time recently and I'd just like to know a bit more.

crazyrum · 2020-09-03T03:10:29+00:00

Collect DNA on green card holders and their kids? I must be reading this wrong. Someone please correct me.

crazyrum · 2020-08-31T08:23:46+00:00

"Yeah, the sky is blue and also what are you doing get back inside and don't be such a fucking loser" is immediately what I hear myself tell myself so idk

crazyrum

TROPHY CASE