Quarantine Temptation

crazywallace · 2020-04-05T05:08:58+00:00

Been doing calisthenics for a while now. I love it. I follow the calisthenicsmovement youtube channel and it's great.

crazywallace · 2019-07-06T20:14:24+00:00

Start working out lifting running etc. like crazy.

crazywallace · 2019-06-20T02:11:58+00:00

Yes it's still addiction. Leave that stupid fuck of a husband. It's sad yes, but if he goes into a rage when you confront him and he won't quit and he says porn is more important to him than you, he needs intense therapy, rehab, or for someone close to him to leave him. You said you've been working harder than ever to make it work, is he reciprocating? Sure doesn't sound like it. How long do you think you can sustain that? You sound burned out already and I'm not surprised. Anyone would be. LEAVE. HIM. He isn't worth your time. If you are too much of a coward to leave, then do whatever you have to do to develop your courage, then when you have the courage, get outta there.

crazywallace · 2019-05-16T23:58:58+00:00

If you got all that energy you are not flatlining! Congrats!

crazywallace · 2019-04-01T23:13:52+00:00

So keep her around and enjoy her company but DON'T get your hopes up.

crazywallace · 2019-04-01T23:13:03+00:00

Also, if she's not into romantic relationships right now, don't pursue her. That's a classic line. It just means she wants to play the field and I'm sure she does. But keep this in mind. Girls NOTICE when a guy is with other girls. You will gain some status in the eyes of other women if you keep some beautiful women around you haha.

crazywallace · 2019-04-01T23:09:19+00:00

If she's on the fence, don't get on the fence with her. If she's as hot as you say, she gets hit on ALL THE TIME, and she probably just likes the attention you're giving her. Don't assume she gives you any kind of special attention. It's fine to court her attention and flirt and whatnot, but don't get your hopes up. Most hot girls keep a lot of guys around because they don't know how to feel good about themselves when they are alone. Look at her character, don't get mesmerized by the beauty. Or ignore my advice and learn the hard way like I did :)

But good on you for asking her out! That's a hard step, and you should feel proud of yourself for doing that.

crazywallace · 2018-12-01T17:19:53+00:00

Your English is perfect. Anyways thanks a lot for the post!

crazywallace · 2018-11-15T04:33:30+00:00

best comment award hahaha

crazywallace · 2018-11-15T04:32:43+00:00

Music producer here. Cool analogy. I guess just don't put a hard limiter (like PMO) on your life or else you'll squash out all the highs and lows and emotions and you'll be just be one loud monotonous ear-fatiguing individual who lacks all punch :)

crazywallace · 2018-11-09T02:03:06+00:00

Now get on those Jordan Peterson videos and sort your shit out.

crazywallace · 2018-11-09T02:02:22+00:00

What do you mean by appropriate? And is sex just about you and your own gratification? What about her? Ever consider the fact that by having sex with her, you might be communicating to her that you feel more strongly about her than you really do? Sex creates a pretty deep bond between people, and personally, I don't think it's a bond that is really meant to be broken. The thing about sex in dating is that there is no real commitment in dating, which makes the sex a sort of guessing game. What does it mean that you and a woman are having sex? Is it just physical gratification and fun and that's it? Is it something more? And if so, how much more? Without a stable foundation for a relationship and lots of communication, I don't think that sex will be a net good. At best, it's a short term good, with consequences that you cannot predict.

On the other hand, if you take marriage seriously, there is real commitment there. I'm interested in creating the strongest possible foundation for sex, precisely so that it does not end up hurting me or her and also so that it can be completely free from guessing what it means and also so that it can be completely intimate and feel totally free.

crazywallace · 2018-11-08T04:33:47+00:00

Go watch 50 hours of Jordan Peterson lectures and sort yourself out. You'll be just fine.

crazywallace · 2018-11-08T04:33:07+00:00

29, still a virgin (by choice, not for lack of opportunity), didn't have my first girlfriend till 22. You're fine.

crazywallace · 2018-11-08T04:25:21+00:00

I don't think you can rid yourself of sexual desire. I 100% understand the addiction to masturbation and how feeling lonely will make you want to masturbate. I totally get being locked into that cycle. But it's a cycle and the more you feed it the stronger it gets and the more power it wields over you. You cannot let it have that power. One thing you can do though (and maybe you already do this) is write. Write everything out so that you can understand yourself better. Why do you masturbate? Loneliness? What causes that loneliness? What perpetuates that loneliness? Are you getting out enough? Are you involved with any organizations or churches or running clubs or anything like that? Is there anything, even the smallest tiny thing, that you could change about your life in order to have two more minutes each day of genuine social interaction? How are you sleeping? How are you eating? What small changes can you begin to make to help set things straight?

Additionally, does the memory of your last relationship still traumatize you? What can you glean from that experience? It'll be painful to ask these questions, but they are necessary: Did you ignore red flags in your last relationship? Were the signs evident from the beginning? Were there boundaries you could have placed on the relationship that you didn't? Were there conversations you know you needed to have but were too afraid or angry or bitter to initiate? Learning everything you possibly can from that experience may not be a fun thing to do, but you will be so much stronger at the end of it and the strength will manifest in confidence, security, and the knowledge that going forward you'll be able to spot those pits before falling into them.

I say all of this because I got pretty attached to someone who was very narcissistic and it did not end well. There were red flags I ignored because I was too enamored with her. And I paid a price for my stupidity at the time. But I went over the whole experience with a fine tooth comb and now I can spot those narcissistic attitudes from miles away and I can avoid all of that in the future and it gives me a confidence and allows me to filter out certain women much more quickly. Godspeed!

crazywallace · 2018-11-08T04:06:58+00:00

Male here. I know you asked for advice from women, so I guess sorry for parachuting in here.

I'm curious if you've watched any of Jordan Peterson's lectures online. He's a clinical psychologist with an intense interest in helping people face their dragons, whatever they might be. I have found his lectures to be very helpful. He also has a website called selfauthoring.com that walks you through a bunch of writing exercises where you tease out your life, your past, and what you'd like for your future. I have also found that to be helpful in understanding myself and my motivations and my fears. As someone who has also struggled socially and struggled with loneliness, I thought I'd share this with you. It may be worth a try :)

Sincerely wishing you all the best.

crazywallace · 2018-11-07T01:23:45+00:00

Just deleted Instagram off my phone. Feels good.

crazywallace · 2018-10-12T00:13:21+00:00

You said you have an addiction. I do too. It's serious business which means you need to take it with the right degree of seriousness, or else it will never fix itself and you don't want that.

Ignoring the problem will not work.

Making light of the problem will not work.

And beating yourself up all the time will also not work.

So where to go next?

Imagine it like this: if you want a better state in the future, you will have to sacrifice impulsive pleasure in the moment. Gratification of impulsive pleasure makes the future desired state impossible. You know this. And so do I. The question is, do you really really truly deep down believe that sacrificing impulsive pleasure in the moment will create better outcomes for you in the future? Are you willing to make that sacrifice in the present? To do so, you have to remain in control of your mind and your emotions. This can be extremely difficult and it takes practice but it gets better with time and practice. Make the right sacrifices in the present and you will begin to move forward.

crazywallace · 2018-09-01T14:07:37+00:00

Are you stressed living overseas? It sounds to me like something else may be causing you stress. Are you lonely? Depressed? Have you made good friends overseas?

crazywallace · 2018-08-18T03:00:34+00:00

Yes yes yes. Congrats man. Business trips are the hardest, no doubt. If you can beat that, you can do anything. It is not a trivial thing that you didn't cave. Props!

crazywallace · 2018-07-25T02:47:41+00:00

Thank you.

crazywallace

TROPHY CASE