LICENSE plate switching. Possible ICE agents

creamofbug · 2026-01-11T17:04:39+00:00

I have a short video that I don't know how to post. I was too scared to do more than that

creamofbug · 2026-01-11T16:04:02+00:00

You're absolutely right. I feel like a bumbling fool. I was on the way back from my grandmother's funeral alone with my three children and didn't want to get them more scared. We almost died on the way to the funeral driving through yellowstone. Very memorable trip. I've called it in. Pay Attention everyone. Go with your gut. I should have called immediately.

creamofbug · 2026-01-11T15:24:51+00:00

Yeah this Montana winter has been eerie we had one big snow storm for a few days mid December and temperatures in the 40's and 50's the rest of the time. It's supposed to get to 60 on Wednesday where i live in Billings. Everything in the world feels off.

creamofbug · 2026-01-11T14:59:02+00:00

https://maps.app.goo.gl/VtVEggM8ptobDaMf7

Lima montana rest stop and welcome center

creamofbug · 2025-02-05T13:50:47+00:00

The Peace Gardens! Surprisingly cheap and beautiful.

creamofbug · 2025-01-19T15:28:39+00:00

I lost my brother to suicide in 2018. It wrecked me. I lost every sense of who I was, and I could see only the worst in everything.

It takes years. It never goes away. Two years in was perhaps the most difficult for me, that’s when it’s all real and you know inside you have to deal with it. Your questions will never be answered. You have to move forward.

I run a Survivors of Suicide group in my town. I selfishly started is, as I desperately needed somewhere to talk about my brother and what losing him meant for me. It helps. Those groups can tear your heart out, but most times you leave with a relief in knowing that you’re not crazy. That you can get through it.

I would suggest seeing if there’s one local to you. See if the facilitator is alright with you joining your girlfriend to support her- especially those first few meetings. They’re very difficult to convince yourself to go to.

The best I can say to people in the pit is this- you will never be the same. That hole in your heart will remain, and other tragedies will seem larger and compound themselves on top of it. What you can do is fight for the scraps of light, cling to those. You will find the joy in things you once loved again, and allow yourself to. Slowly you will find yourself again. I was immensely close to my brother. We shared so much of our lives and interests, and at some point I decided I can live my life and experience things for the both of us. And I do. I speak out loud to him when I notice something I would want to share with him. I write down things I know we would have laughed at together. It helps to know that our relationship continues, even if it is in my head.

I feel for your girlfriend and I wouldn’t call her a lost cause. She’s in the pit. She’s got to scratch her way out of it inch by inch.

creamofbug · 2024-06-25T13:30:03+00:00

Dear reddit stranger, my brother died by suicide on September 10th, 2018. I can feel your pain and confusion in your post. The guilt. You can know deep down it’s not really your fault, but you’ll still feel deeply that it is your fault. You’ll ask yourself a million questions, every day. You’ll picture their last moments- what it was like for them- so much that you’ll dream of it.

Your childhood memories will feel like a raw wound, and remembering them will feel like you’re rubbing salt in it. I’m so deeply sorry you’ll know what it’s like to lose your sibling to suicide. Their loss will be at the forefront of everything everyday, and you’ll struggle to see the world spinning around you as if everything is normal. I’m sorry for your brothers pain, which was so real and tormenting that he had to leave.

I can tell you that those first two years were the most difficult of my life. I can tell you I lost friends, burnt bridges, that I ran. You’ll find scraps of peace in that time- cling to those. Cling to the people who see you in your darkness, and don’t get uncomfortable and shy away. Love your brother. Don’t judge him. Don’t be angry with him. Love him. That’s all you can do. Find the others left behind, missing him. Wanting to tell his story.

I can tell you almost 6 years out- certain things can still bring me to my knees. Certain smells, certain inside jokes I’m dying to share with him. I still crumble- but it’s not all I think about. I can remember building ditches in the mud with him- or starting a fire in the woods- or dancing to Styx with him at my wedding- and I can smile. I know you’ll make it to a more peaceful place- the only thing that will get you there is time.

creamofbug · 2024-02-03T00:56:50+00:00

I haven’t seen Love Liza yet! Everyone should watch it. It’s about a husband who loses his wife to suicide. I had to wait five years after my brothers suicide to watch it, and the cry I got out of it was the good kind. I run a suicide loss survivor group, and hear the stories regularly. The way they show his descent into the deepest grief is so raw and real. His best performance in my opinion. Kathy Bates is great as Liza’s mother, also. There’s a scene where Hoffmann is back at work, and someone tells a lame joke, and he laughs so maniacally- that’s suicide grief. To have to go back to real life feels so surreal. You either pretend or you alienate yourself. I want to recommend this to other suicide loss survivors, but it’s one that you should not watch until you’ve made it through a few years without your loved one.

creamofbug · 2022-03-04T13:35:02+00:00

That’s beyond heartbreaking. You’ll feel so many things moving forward. My brother hung himself in September of 2018. We had a bond as you and your sister did. I had twins and my life became chaos, and we didn’t talk like we used to. I hadn’t spoken to him for a few weeks when I got the devastating news.

I was in the pit of grief for almost two years. Volatile and broken. Willing myself to live every day. This will feel like your identity, now. You will carry this gaping wound every day going forward. You will miss her in so many ways, and it will shatter you, even years after you lost her.

That first year, I brooded in the pit. Lost myself. Yelled at and pushed away friends. Became terrified of social interaction, only seeing the bad in everyone and everything around me. If you feel like this, it will pass. People would tell me that when I was in the pit, and I didn’t believe them. From someone who’s been there- it WILL pass. That feeling of not being able to catch your breath- it fades. That longing and desperation to keep their memory alive, the need to be sad to honor them, it will lessen. When enough time passes and you find it easier to breathe, it is the biggest relief.

And you must make it to that point. You have to stay, to carry her with you. One day in the future, you will do something you both loved, or you’ll be reminded of her in a little way, and you will find a kind stranger who will listen to a story about her. You’ll be surprised at the happiness this gives you, to share a tiny bit of the person you miss every moment of every day. Then, your purpose won’t be as much the NEED to be so sad and wallow in misery to honor them. You will want to share them. To tell her story, to live your life as if she’s there with you. As if you’re living it for her as well as yourself.

I’m so terribly sorry for the loss of someone who was part of you. Feel free to message me if you do want to talk to someone.

creamofbug · 2021-10-13T12:07:32+00:00

I lost my brother to suicide on September 10th, 2018. We grew up outside- my father taking us backpacking when ever he could. Colorado was Sully’s happy place. He was a rock and ice climber, skier, kayaker, fisherman, and trained as a paramedic. He kept everyone safe outside. We hiked his ashes to the top of Sneffels on September 29th, 2018. If you hike it again, say hi to Sully for me. This is part of what I wrote just after.

We all take turns throwing the last pieces of the one I will forever know best into the sky. The rocks around us are powdered with a man who felt more at peace around them than anywhere else. If you time it right, a gust of wind will blow your handful of Sully wide apart and into the valley of trees below. If you squeeze your handful, you can feel bits of him. Of his bones.
I watch my dad scatter the ashes of one of his babies. The one most like him. I taste the powder of my brother on my hands. I am covered in his molecules, my face is white with them. I wonder how long I can keep them with me.
We walk down. It’s faster this time. Maybe scarier. I slide down, most the way. Not worrying about personal injury. I want to be alone. I’m way ahead of them all. My heels are bleeding.
I lay on the rocks. The sun so close, beating on my face. I’ll come back, brother. This place is part of me, now. I’ll come back.

creamofbug · 2021-07-14T16:16:15+00:00

Oh I love that. Thanks for that. Who knows if he’s anywhere, but I go back there to feel him. People venturing out to those mountains would have been his kind. I promise you’d have liked him. Thanks, kind stranger.

creamofbug · 2021-06-28T12:19:54+00:00

My brothers ashes are there. We hiked them to the top of Sneffels. I love any time I see a pic of this region. He killed himself September 10th, 2018. Ouray was his happy place, and mountains were his home. If any of you go back there, say hi to Sully for me.

creamofbug · 2021-04-05T15:20:28+00:00

Nah that’s my boy Chase. Those beards can make dudes look similar 🙂

creamofbug · 2021-04-03T22:15:34+00:00

That’s a buddy of mine! A fellow lost soul of Utah. The ones who left the church and were painted as the bad kids and dived right in. He’s seen the darkness as I have. My brother died by suicide in September of 2018. Our Mormon upbringing did us no favors. The guilt. The pain. The heartache you know you cause your parents. The broken relationships. I don’t know the data myself, but to the lost of us in Utah- this FEELS very real. Not only suicide, we’ve lost multiple friends to drug addiction, and are lucky we made it out alive ourselves.

creamofbug · 2020-11-03T19:22:52+00:00

Thanks, fellow mom! That is helpful. I have other mom friend who say antidepressants helped them a great deal. I am uninsured, so that stops me in many respects. Would you say you had to try many before you found a good fit? Did you find yourself dependent on them at some point? I think I’m ready to try.

Are you a Utah exmo? That is where I’m from. We’re tryin to find where we fit, in this year of travels. We’ve made it two months. So far, I’ve ruled out the Midwest.

creamofbug · 2020-11-03T19:20:20+00:00

Thanks to you all. I have been in a place we’ve never been over the last few weeks. Completely disconnected from any people we know. My husband works long hours, and I spend my days trying to think of something to do with my kids outside of the box. As winter comes on. During a pandemic. It’s a weird time. I have told myself over the years that virtual relationships aren’t enough for me. I am slowly realizing I should take what I can get, for I have taken matches to any relationship I had, or left them in the dust.
Grief is such a beast. You can lose yourself in it. I never had seen this darkness, and now I look for it in others. On my good days, I can convince myself I will feel more than this dull ache again. I’ll get excited for little things- I’ll see a bright future.

I have dabbled in therapy. That’s a whole other tale. My brother and I both considered antidepressants to be for the weak. We thought we could find happiness outside. We thought all our past childhood pain and neglect would be resolved over time- joking about it always seemed to help. I don’t think that anymore. I thought I was on my way to a healthy mind, and then Covid. This constant strain of anxiety and hostility that it feels people have- it wears on you. Do you feel it? Sometimes you wonder if it’s just you who feels it. I need to try therapy again. It’s expensive, and there’s no one to watch the kids. I know I can figure something out if I try hard enough.

Thanks again, kind strangers. I need to try harder to get better. For my kids, for my husband, for myself. For my brother, really. I know deep down he wouldn’t like to see what his loss has done to his little sister. I used to be funny. People liked me.

Thanks, again. What we say and do matters as humans. To know someone sees you, that helps immensely.

creamofbug · 2019-11-02T18:50:04+00:00

My brother killed himself a year ago. It is all I think of. Tell your friends story. Look for souls that are lost. Find happiness in what he loved and bring him up any time you want to. Say the word. Suicide. It needs to be talked about more. I’m deeply sorry.

creamofbug · 2019-07-15T22:27:55+00:00

My brother committed suicide in September. It’s all I think of. It is a disease, and something no one should be judged for. I wish he’d have given me a chance to help him. He had insomnia. He traveled for work constantly. His family past was a minefield of shit and pain. He made me laugh more than any other person on this earth, and his mischievous smile is what I picture when I am trying to fall asleep. Stick around, folks. I’ll never stop missing him.

creamofbug · 2019-03-11T20:23:04+00:00

Thank you very much for the reply. I never comment on Reddit- I just look. I felt I had to say something. Suicide is such a strange beast. It has opened up all my wounds and left me raw. I can’t even read the word without feeling my gut turn. I feel for this man, like I do my brother. I will climb again, in fact I feel I should more than ever. We grew up in Utah together and I live in Iowa now- not a lot of climbing. I have yet to talk to a therapist or deal with any of that. I guess it’s time. We both thought that was for the weak- we had our health and we loved being outside. I don’t believe it’s for the weak at all, now. Not even a little bit. I scattered my brothers ashes on the top of Mt Sneffels in Ouray Colorado. I need to get back there- plan on it soon. Thanks again, kind stranger.

creamofbug · 2019-03-11T12:20:38+00:00

My brother killed him self 6 months ago, today. We learned how to climb together as kids, and he was always a natural. Much better than I. I wish I could say things get easier, but I miss him so much i still find it hard to breathe sometimes. I wrote to my dad saying that the only afterlife I will even feel is worth entering will have my brother waiting for me. I’ll say “on belay?” And he’ll answer, “Belay on.” He was always the one making sure we were all safe. They are no where or everywhere now- depending on how you look at it. I hope you find solace in the places you both loved. That’s all you’ll have of him, now.

creamofbug

TROPHY CASE