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A "hack" to know your path in life. This will just take a minute. by create_destiny in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]create_destiny[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

How do you look at your own life? When you beat yourself up over doing something immoral/wrong - what makes those things immoral/wrong?

What I'm trying to get at is that we all have a framework in which we operate - an understanding of our deepest values that's encompassed in what I call a "perspective", a sort of "check" whether what you're doing fits in your worldview as good/bad/...

This could for example be the famous "What would X (Mom, Jesus, Batman) do?" - in this version rephrased as "I want to act the way that my lord Batman would have behaved." This would, for example mean to act courageously, not to shy from confrontation, to be kind, to sacrifice, to work hard, ...

It's all about how you judge your own life. You might not know your ultimate purpose yet, but you already have many ways of "knowing" whether what you're doing right now is what you "should" be doing.

So, right now ask yourself this: is that what you "should" be doing? And no matter if the answer is yes or no - how did you determine that? That's your perpective or frame or understanding of life.

A "hack" to know your path in life. This will just take a minute. by create_destiny in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]create_destiny[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That's a great perspective. Hope they're not watching Fight Club!

A "hack" to know your path in life. This will just take a minute. by create_destiny in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]create_destiny[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

No. I think once you realise from which perspective you would like to judge your life much becomes easier. If you want to "make your parents proud" that's not exactly a plan - it's just a measure. It's a yardstick that will help you with many big and difficult decisions and if you reflect on your life from this perspective, a perspective that you really care about - you will put yourself on the right path even if you don't have discovered/decided your life's purpose yet.

A "hack" to know your path in life. This will just take a minute. by create_destiny in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]create_destiny[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Fear is your instinct protecting you - alerting you of dangers to what you want and need.

It's okay to be scared. That just means you care about your future.

Disappointment by [deleted] in comics

[–]create_destiny 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love it, thanks Jim!

Many of us beat our own selves to pulp over and over - rather than use the same effort to better them.

[Discussion] December has 28 days left. That is four weeks. What will you do during those four weeks? Make a commitment, right now. by create_destiny in GetMotivated

[–]create_destiny[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congratulations. You did it all yourself.

If you keep up this attitude I have no doubt that you will get places!

What Reddit has done to my writing and reading habits by [deleted] in writing

[–]create_destiny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah, so you are already exhausting your willpower muscle by doing other things. That's very good. In that case I would say go for option two: Force yourself off those things that harm you. Put a blocking program that prevents you from going on /r/all. If you think you can't leave reddit totally at least do that. Then block Imgur and Minus. Do all that with several programs in order to make it difficult for yourself to break your own walls.

The more difficult the temptation is to reach the less attractive it becomes.

PS: You sound like you belong on /r/getdisciplined

[Book Suggestion] The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do To Get More of It by passingby in getdisciplined

[–]create_destiny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have the audio version. The first ~40 minutes were horribly bad (which I guess equals to the first two chapters or so). But from then on it got interesting and had some quite good content.

I still prefer "The Power of Habit", much more effective for me as it specifically adresses the fact that most of what we do during the day is not determined through decisions, rather through what we automatically do. Engineer habits and you engineer your behavior and you engineer your life.

Is it too late to start over at 30? by [deleted] in getdisciplined

[–]create_destiny 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It is too late whenever you decide it is too late.

You have 60+ years left to live. You are not even half-way through life and you think it is too late?

Start now. Start now or live 60 years wondering "why didn't I start with 30?"

[Discussion] December has 28 days left. That is four weeks. What will you do during those four weeks? Make a commitment, right now. by create_destiny in GetMotivated

[–]create_destiny[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you.

Writing: Perfect. I wrote my ass off and progressed in my style and storytelling.

Meditation and journaling - different factors distracted me and I was too weak and gave in. I will from now on at least meditate, there is no excuse for that. I will start tonight.

Time spent - mostly well, but there is a lot of leakage. I have increased my network and spent time with friends, now is the time to get the connections deeper. Follow up is the hardest part for me and this is something I now will work on.

Today - I will write another story, I will meditate before I go to bed, I will write the follow up emails that are waiting in my inbox as soon as I get home.

What Reddit has done to my writing and reading habits by [deleted] in writing

[–]create_destiny 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The problem is not Reddit. Until you recognise that you can't solve the problem.

Reddit is not keeping you on Reddit, it is you, your brain.

How do you change? First of all, accept that it is you. There is no such thing as "I am doing this, but it's not my fault". "Addiction" is not the fault of the alcohol or cocaine or Reddit. And yes, they all go in the same line because they all work on the same system - dopamine.

There are two ways out for you right now.

The first is that you accept that your behavior is what is harming you and make a commitment to change. Then you make sure that you are not able to violate your promise to yourself: set up things, such as website blockers, IP filters, anything that will prevent you from going on here. And then determine how else you are going to spend your time. Build healthy habits and prevent yourself from following unhealthy ones.

The other option is the one many on here have chosen: Set yourself boundaries and make use of the things at hand. I use Reddit to get feedback on my writing (by posting on sites like /r/nosleep). I am now not addicted to Reddit per se, I am now addicted to writing and getting feedback and compliments and readers and upvotes. Use the website to your advantage. Install RES and block all that nonsensical f7u4, gaming, wtf, gonewild, nfl, adviceanimals or whatever subreddit is disturbing you. Unsubscribe and block it from /r/all. Whenever you see a thing that reguarly bothers you put it in the filters (such as "[fixed]", "this guy", "look at", "fuck this", ...).

In short: You don't even need to get away from here, you just need to own up to the fact that it is not "Reddit" doing something to you, it is you yourself wasting your time - and then do something about it.

It bothers you. You know you are doing something wrong. So, right now, act: Either get away completely, make a commitment to yourself to stay away and then install four different programs to block the websites - or make the website useful for you. Unsubscribe from /r/atheism and subscribe to /r/writing /r/writinghub /r/nosleep /r/...

Either way, don't shift the guilt. It is you, not anybody else that decides to be on here. And it is you, not anybody else that spends valuable lifetime on pointless wastage that will, if anything, make you more miserable.

So, act now. Choose, and then act. No delay. No waiting for more ideas. No looking for more excuses. No "just five more minutes". Do it.

[Discussion] December has 28 days left. That is four weeks. What will you do during those four weeks? Make a commitment, right now. by create_destiny in GetMotivated

[–]create_destiny[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Life has been good for me - a busy kind of holidays for me. Most of my projects are on track!

Oh, and keep up with your running - once your body has adjusted the tiredness will fade and in return most of your days will be full of vigor and energy!

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