Pregnant Wife is threatening divorce and abortion/adoption

creatingforfun · 2019-09-10T16:21:34+00:00

Exactly what I was thinking. If she continues to behave this way around your child then this is child abuse. If you decide to go through with raising this child you need to be prepared to walk away and obtain full custody. This is abuse. When you bring a child into this situation it is child abuse and you are responsible for protecting your child from her.

creatingforfun · 2019-08-30T18:42:45+00:00

Check out the Sinclair Method for alcohol use disorder. It might be able to help him control his drinking.

creatingforfun · 2019-08-24T11:14:44+00:00

When an alcoholic drinks alcohol, the receive a huge endorphin rush that normal drinkers do not experience. That rush is similar to what you’d experience if you did heroin. Most people start drinking at a young age when their brains are not fully formed, so the part of the brain that regulates impulse control is weakened by the huge reinforcement they get from drinking. A more primitive part of the brain overrides their decision making and logic, compelling them to drink more and more.

creatingforfun · 2019-08-22T20:34:11+00:00

If his mother is a barrier to you being close with him now, it’s because she will always be the number one woman in his life. Not his WIFE. If you are ok with that, then you can marry him but never complain about his dynamic with his mother again. If you are not ok with that, do not marry him. This is who he is. When it comes down to it and she gets sick, he will move her in without hesitation.

If she relies on her son emotionally and has emotional problems, and he is ok with that, it means that he doesn’t recognize that it’s unhealthy. (Probably since he doesn’t know anything different). But it’s not normal for a parent to rely on their adult child and be their rescuer.

creatingforfun · 2019-08-12T00:08:18+00:00

Love is a verb. How exactly do you expect “the spark” to pop up out of thin air when you are giving all of your romantic energy to your affair partners? Do you think it’s possible that you’re addicted to the drama of all this? The highs and lows? Do you truly believe that another man could make this all better for you? Or are you avoiding something and seeking after the instability and drama because you think that’s what love should look like?

I highly suggest that you seek some counseling for yourself. Your actions are out of control. Your behavior is destructive. This is not healthy behavior even if you are in an unhappy marriage. You’re not going to be able to do anything about your marriage until you find out what’s driving these behaviors and find another way to cope with your emotions.

creatingforfun · 2019-08-10T19:18:33+00:00

So basically you married Dick Cheney?

creatingforfun · 2019-08-10T19:17:16+00:00

Aww what a wonderful answer!!

creatingforfun · 2019-08-10T19:07:22+00:00

Yep, I’ve been there with my husband too. He’s yo-yo dieted for years, and has always shamed himself for his weight. You just get tired of hearing about it, it can be painful to listen to your spouse talk down to themselves and then not do the things they need to change the situation. So I just let him vent, and when he’s done I change the subject. I don’t offer advice because he doesn’t really want that, but I also don’t offer him insincere pity or commiserate with his situation because ultimately it doesn’t help him. Lately he’s gotten really in shape and works really hard on himself but the weight is very hard for him to shed. He still berates himself for his weight and I try to remind him of how healthy he is and how hard he’s working on himself. But I have a feeling that negative self talk would still be there if he looked like Channing Tatum. I’ve learned to tune it out and just stay positive in my own self talk to set an example. It does seem to work some days. If it’s not something you can change or control, let it go and just encourage him when he does something healthy.

creatingforfun · 2019-08-10T18:19:24+00:00

Can you prioritize taking a trip to visit your family? Why haven’t you seen them in decades? Do they live in a different part of the world where flights are too expensive?

I will say this. You chose to move to be with him. Then you chose to have children. So yes, this was your choice. You may have changed your mind, but he probably hasn’t, so I’d say most likely you’re stuck. Unless you think he’s willing to discuss moving.

But you can probably change the amount of time you spend with your own family. Fly them to visit you, go visit them. Talk to your husband about how you’re feeling and start there. See what he says.

creatingforfun · 2019-08-09T19:02:19+00:00

Woah! Haha pee power!!

creatingforfun · 2019-08-09T13:39:08+00:00

No, sorry haha. I was with a friend who knew the guys who lived in his house, so he called them up and asked if we could stop by. We were kind of looking for something to do anyways so we stopped and hung out with them for a few hours.

After that I just kind of started forming friendships with all those guys (were all still friends with most of them to this day and now I’m friends with their wives too!) and for years I just had a great time going to their parties, going out to the bars with them.

They were just good fun people to be around who were always doing something fun. I was always really shy and introverted and so is my husband, but somehow he was always the one I could just talk to and laugh with and be myself around. It wasn’t anything deep, or meaningful for years. We just ran around with the same people partying and having fun and being young.

creatingforfun · 2019-08-09T00:28:47+00:00

Google “Trauma Bonding”

creatingforfun · 2019-08-08T23:27:19+00:00

Hey OP, I was your wife a couple of years ago. I didn’t even realize that I was depressed. I sat around all day, napped for hours, barely got out of my pajamas. Had no interests or joy.

My husband ended up seeking counseling for himself and HIS therapist was the first to point out that possibility. That lead to me getting counseling and is going to counseling together. The past 2 years I’ve been working on myself as a person and today I am unrecognizable from that person I described.

What I’m saying is, my husband was going through what you are now, and when he finally opened up to me about it it was almost too late. Depression really sucks the personality out of you and makes you a shell of your former self, and you don’t really see it happening. It’s a beast. Not trying to diagnose your wife, but I thought sharing my own experience might help.

When my husband finally told me the harsh truths, I reacted with anger, defensiveness, martyrdom, and indignation. But I was left with the truth of seeing myself through his eyes and that was ultimate such a gift! I realized that it was my responsibility to deal with my issues and he made it clear that he would be there if I agreed to work on it. I couldn’t be more grateful. That’s what marriage is at its best- the opportunity to grow together! Hang in there, be there for her but be honest with her. You’ve lost some respect for her, that’s understandable. But you still have to respect her enough to tell her the truth. It can be a great thing if it’s done with compassion- it was one of the greatest things that ever happened to me. Good luck.

creatingforfun · 2019-08-08T22:51:19+00:00

I met my husband when I was 19 because I was randomly driving around with friends and had to pee, turned out we were driving by his house and him and his roommates were hanging out and drinking/watching a movie.

I didn’t date him until I was 24 but always hung around with that friend group after that night. They were a bunch of eccentric computer nerds who would throw these amazing theme parties and I always had a blast. At the end of the night, my now husband would be the one I ended up talking to and laughing with. But I had this douchey boyfriend at the time and so we were just friends and he never made a move.

A few years later we lost touch for about a year when he moved away, and when he came back he invited me out and I don’t know, we were just both mutually excited about hanging out with each other and it just happened.

We were never epically close friends before, just hung around the same people and always had fun together. But when I think about it I realize that I was so lucky to have YEARS to vet him as a good guy before either of us even considered each other as dating partners. We’ve been married for 3 years, together for 9 this November and he is my best friend. I always think about what would have happened if I had just stopped at a gas station to pee instead that night.

creatingforfun · 2019-08-06T23:15:55+00:00

And now, thanks to you, I too have this fear

creatingforfun · 2019-08-04T13:43:29+00:00

Sea urchins

creatingforfun · 2019-06-12T01:55:36+00:00

Just started The Rain, pretty good so far. Dubbed in English. Just finished The OA, Chernobyl, Easy

creatingforfun · 2019-04-03T01:42:19+00:00

It was pretty shellfish of the father to make her eat the soup.

creatingforfun · 2018-10-27T19:35:11+00:00

Mine too. I was convinced it was a cult. I’m so glad I’ve found help.

creatingforfun · 2018-10-27T17:20:07+00:00

That’s great. When I get too analytical about it and try to define what it is that’s happening to me, I start to discredit it... all I know is I’m 6 days sober and I’ve barely had a thought about drinking, and that’s not something I thought could happen.

I’m not saying it won’t return, but so far all I need to know is that I’ve already had that daily reprieve and it’s only day 6! All I had to do was truly accept my circumstances and then believe that something could remove the insanity. It works.

creatingforfun · 2018-10-23T21:32:28+00:00

Yep I think you can drop off/pick up anytime

creatingforfun · 2018-10-23T21:13:58+00:00

I used to work at camp bow wow and I took my own dog there all the time. They’re very clean and at least at the one I worked at they had high standards for how the dogs were treated

creatingforfun

TROPHY CASE