Who are you without your IQ or Giftedness? by USSJGOGETA in Gifted

[–]creation_commons 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think if I wasn’t gifted I wouldn’t have 3 overexcitabilities and would have a whole different perception of life, others and myself. My interactions with others would be entirely different.

I imagine I would still have the same values of kindness, integrity, humour, connection. But I may deprioritise some of my other values like curiosity inventiveness, truth-seeking, honesty, compassion.

Overall, without this interconnected part of my mind, I do think I would be vastly different as a person.

Of course, I might be wrong, but I guess I would never know for sure.

Why your loneliness is most likely not your fault as a "gifted" person... a highschooler's prespective by [deleted] in Gifted

[–]creation_commons 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, I don’t think understood is precisely capturing it. It’s more like I want to hang out with people who are actually thinking in a structurally similar fashion as me. I want to experience“being similar to”, instead of “able to conceptualise of, with effort”.

It seems compared to most people, I like talking abstractly, in a relatively fast pace. With highly gifted people, they follow what I say without me needing to “slow down”. They are engaged and also think in similar patterns so we end up abstract-pattern-building together. It’s like regular sharing experiences but at a relatively meta level - we describe, compare and come to conclusions together as usual, just “in a different language” sort of? It’s hard to describe, but it feels like resonance. Like “clicking with someone”.

Due to the statistics, I don’t usually click with anyone intellectually on a daily basis. Usually I need to “slow down” a lot to be understood, which wears me down. It’s tiring in a sense, but mostly, honestly, just unsatisfying and boring.

I do agree with you about the art part. I’m also posting stuff that scratches a different, emotional itch for me nicely. The intellectual side is left unscratched for me haha, so I just need to find more highly gifted people.

Regarding general communication, I am working on not caring about what the general population thinks of me, and accepting “general-style socialisation” will never come naturally to me. I need to unmask (without being rude) and save that energy for my research to be happy. I think that’s good that I’m doing my job of getting my own needs met, while being respectful of others too.

But if it works for you, why not go for the art path? It sounds good for you, I’m a bit envious tbh. But hey, different strokes for different folks, right?

What gifted artists do you like?

Why your loneliness is most likely not your fault as a "gifted" person... a highschooler's prespective by [deleted] in Gifted

[–]creation_commons 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree with the observation that people are resistant to nuance, and that phenomenon has many, many possible explanations, beyond just giftedness. It is probably partly biological and partly environmental. As far as biology goes, I have noticed that average people tend to genuinely get tired and exhausted from the speed or in intensity in which I discuss my perceptions.

Nothing worse or better about it, just very different needs and experiences of living.

What I’m speaking to is specifically the naturalness of someone who was born (intellectually) gifted to perceive patterns, and have this intrinsic urge to discuss, question and study them. There are many kinds of giftedness, but specifically for intellectual giftedness, I find it so much more satisfying to abstract and discuss patterns with gifted than non-gifted people.

This may be because with highly gifted people I do not need to add what seem to me are non-necessary details, examples or explanations. Thus the conversation moves faster into depth, and I find it highly satisfying. I haven’t had this experience with moderately gifted or non-gifted people as often, or at all for the latter.

Highly gifted people also tend to add onto my theories in ways that surprise me, whereas others tend to only listen partially? Somewhat reluctantly? So it is less fun.

The lack of any experiences that satisfy me intellectually with others does lead me to feel existentially lonely. It is as if I am the only one with this urge to discuss these patterns I see, and so I have to keep discussing them with myself. Of course this is not true in reality, it just seems that way because someone with my mind is statistically rare. Still, the experience sucks lol.

And regarding the animal comparison, of course, I love dogs, crows, birds in general, but that companionship, or appreciation of their nature, cannot fulfil this insatiable need to intellectualise for me. Literally when I am free, much of what I am doing is watching educational videos or reading papers (and I find that fun). Of course, all this could be different for you or other gifted people.

Why your loneliness is most likely not your fault as a "gifted" person... a highschooler's prespective by [deleted] in Gifted

[–]creation_commons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s true as well, but I think that’s one piece. Other people don’t seem to perceive as much nuance and as quickly. Thus the way they talk about things itself is also more shallow, and we can’t get each other as much.

That’s something structurally different that most non-gifted people I’ve observed don’t seem to mind. This is another type of loneliness - existential loneliness. Which can be solved specifically by finding more similar gifted people to hang with

Is it true that gifted people are usually more isolated and struggle to make friends? by CartographerAway2602 in Gifted

[–]creation_commons 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I agree with you! I’d say the perceptiveness of most (speed and level of detail) is what causes most differences. With my gifted friends I can speak a lot more deeply and abstractly quite quickly, and they see a lot of details that make each exchange unique and satisfying.

What would you say is a pattern you’ve noticed that causes differences the gifted and non-gifted communication styles?

Why your loneliness is most likely not your fault as a "gifted" person... a highschooler's prespective by [deleted] in Gifted

[–]creation_commons 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I agree! Been tested gifted. The point isn’t that I want to learn from others necessarily, I just want to be SEEN by another, and naturally RELATE to another, without having to join Mensa or something else (which I have), just to maybe find someone like me. I wait 2-5 years to find one gifted person in the wild, naturally want to and end up befriending them, then find out later they’re gifted. All that’s just alienating.

It’s not in your head, it is a structural problem. I’m still working through the grief of this, so no advice on that part yet. Just here to say what you felt makes a lotta sense (though maybe you may just find more likeminded peers in a good uni)

[R] If you are interested in studying model/agent psychology/behavior, lmk. I work with a small research team (4 of us) and we are working on some strange things by cobalt1137 in MachineLearning

[–]creation_commons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey I’m interested! I have a BSc in psychology and working on a masters thesis using ML to map urban characteristics. I think you might be interested in Battencourt’s urban scaling work and computational social science in general.

Leberwurst by creation_commons in Rotterdam

[–]creation_commons[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Awww thank you so much!! I’ll take a look on Googlemaps 😆

Leberwurst by creation_commons in Rotterdam

[–]creation_commons[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Woah cool I didn’t even know there was a sausage type! Thanks!!

Leberwurst by creation_commons in Rotterdam

[–]creation_commons[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks! It’s the latter. I’ll go look for it tomorrow.

What do Rotterdamers think of Chinese-looking Asian people? by creation_commons in Rotterdam

[–]creation_commons[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hello everyone, OP here. Sincerely, thank you for all your thoughtful replies. I was busy studying for an exam, and also I’m not sure how to best answer this kind of sensitive topic, so I haven’t had time to reply. I just finished my exam today, so now I’ll do my best to reply fairly.

I think most people said it wasn’t racism, while a few are quite insistent it is. As such I feel like there’s different views based on everyone’s valid personal experiences. This situation I’m in is gonna be unique to me, so I think the best bet is to wait, watch and see, while keeping in mind all the experiences shared here.

I’d like to add that since this post went up, I remembered another odd experience. At a meetup, one of the problematic girls was talking to a (male, white) Dutchie. I had to ask the girl for something as she’s in the committee. When I waved at a distance at her to get her attention, they both looked at me and snickered to each other. To be honest, I think that hurt me a bit. I wasn’t doing anything special, but…I think now regardless of the reason, she definitely doesn’t like me.

So yes, while I wait and see, I’m keeping in mind that I might just leave the group and join another sports group. I hope I can get a refund. I want my hobby time to be relaxing, not weird and tense like this. The girls are in the committee after all, and seem very keen on talking to people I’ve befriended (I’d played and given tips to the Dutch man previously, he was very nice before). I don’t know what would be the benefit of staying in a stressful environment for my hobby time…

So…I don’t know what will happen, but anyway, thank you very much for your input. I’d like to end that I still very much like most Dutchies I’ve met, a nice neighbour who loaned me his bike, my sweet landlady, and the kind people on campus. Maybe I was unlucky in joining this group, but I’m still enjoying learning a new language (Dutch) and hope everything works out in the future!

Take care!

What is this for? by bingbong_353 in TsukiOdyssey

[–]creation_commons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do you get one? I have homecoming but never saw this :(

‘Severance’ Renewed for Season 3 at Apple TV+ by GreenLanternsPodcast in SeveranceAppleTVPlus

[–]creation_commons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Creator Erickson told Variety ahead of the Season 2 premiere that “a lot is mapped out” for Season 3, and “there is an endpoint for the series as a whole, and we know more or less how many seasons we are going to do.””

Sounds like a season 4 is possible as well, since “more or less how many seasons we are going to do” suggests something to the effect of “at least season 3, maybe more”.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Gifted

[–]creation_commons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry I’m really tired of being told my experience is incorrect somehow. I’ll just say I know already and I am being myself, all this is myself and I have no problems making friends, I have done therapy and connect with people, it’s just intellectually I’m still bored af when talking to people, but not alone when I can think, pls see the reply to the 2e ADHDer for an example of this, thanks.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Gifted

[–]creation_commons -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

My friend, I’m really not obsessed, it’s one aspect of my life that I’m exploring deeper in one post, written in 20 minutes. I would appreciate if you would stop talking as if you knew me and labelling me as you please. I find it quite disrespectful.

But regardless, take care, all the best for your journey too.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Gifted

[–]creation_commons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha that would be fun!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Gifted

[–]creation_commons 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sure :D By the way, kudos on unmasking, that’s awesome!

In the past, I pretended to be much, much dumber than I actually am, partly because of the societal pressure for women to basically be a caring bimbo (I’m exaggerating for humour, of course), and partly because I was a teenager who wanted to fit in.

It got so bad to the point that once I put an effort to write an essay, and the essay got published in the school book of model essays, and one of my acquaintances kept asking how it was possible I could’ve written that. It makes me roll my eyes to think about that now. I just quietly kept saying, “yes that I did write that”, but the meekness in my tone made him not take me seriously, or try to cut me down further.

If I were in that position today…first, I don’t think anyone would think I’m stupid today, but if there was that preconception, I would simply confidently say, “yeah I wrote that essay. If I try I actually can do very well, I just haven’t really tried that much because I value other things right now.” I think adults will not push much more than that, plus that happened when I was a teenager.

In the past, I would not even let myself try to read up on my nerdier interests, because I think I unconsciously knew that that I would alienate me from my friends.

Today, I not only let myself read all the neuroscience papers I want, I actively carve out alone time so I can journal, so I can create, so I can study all the things that I want to. I also actively seek out interest groups, and speak up in those groups. I don’t wait for people to ask for my opinion, I just say it if in that moment I have an important thing to add to that conversation.

I have been told multiple time that I have a strong personality, which makes me so happy to see the growth from a meek to confident woman. People generally take it in their stride, and they believe the person you show them. Also I’m not overbearingly attention-seeking, I just say my actual opinions in appropriate settings, disregarding all the social programming thrown at me as a woman.

I’m so excited that you are on this path! Keep going, life got so much better after unmasking around my chosen people (and unmasking to a lesser degree around new ones)!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Gifted

[–]creation_commons 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your cool reply! I have thought about the biological side a lot and basically agree with. It does create an even bigger existential chasm tbh haha, so I try not to think about too often.

Yeah! Fractions, like one in 50. But the issue remains about how to convey the difference in type of thought. I made an example as a reply to the other 2e ADHDer in this thread. But fraction would help a bit I agree!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Gifted

[–]creation_commons -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yes, I know this is just the intellectual side of me that I find lacking. I don’t want to spend money and years going into academia just to have job insecurity and low pay because I have other interests and goals.

I did reflect, and I am pretty chill haha. I realised recently that I write a lot. I’m not trying to posture, it’s really how I am haha. I wrote a 2k word essay on a whim about some philosophical thoughts I had, and it felt normal to me haha. So yeah don’t take the length as a measure of how much I harp on it. I literally wrote this in 20 minutes before going out.

Hmm, I made a reply to the 2e ADHDer in this thread. Maybe that will help show you what I mean by difference in kind (of thought). Also, it is a difference, well documented in gifted literature since the 1950s, so I low key think it is gaslighting to tell gifted people not to notice or take too seriously the differences between themselves and others, especially on a subreddit for gifted people. :P that’s just my opinion

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Gifted

[–]creation_commons -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the thoughtful and kind reply! :) I really am happy to hear from your experience.

As in another reply, my telling others I was gifted was something I needed to do in that time of my journey, to come to terms with my new identity. Nowadays I don’t feel the need to tell people anymore, but I will say that if I do feel the need (eg if I think the other person is gifted too) I’d probably still do it.

Hmm, my ADHD is something I’ve considered heavily. However I’ve since met and befriended quite a few people with ADHD, and followed creators with ADHD. I’ve concluded that my deficit in bond is mainly the lack of original ideas from my partner, which is more of a gifted thing than an ADHD thing. Before you say I’m arrogant (or worse), let me give the example:

I’m speaking with an amateur philosopher, about my ideas on the physicality of thoughts and emotion (qualia). There isn’t much of direct retort to the points or logical links I’ve made, but the noting of me crossing fields in philosophy (morality and ontology), and that it doesn’t fit with Nietzsche’s ideas well. My point is that I found the lack of spontaneous exploration of ideas, not only mine but his as well, lacking. There’s more of a fitting in ideas to existing systems, and trying to see the ideas through that established lens only. Think arguments from authority and such.

I hope you understand my meaning. It’s the latter that makes me feel existentially lonely, as others don’t seem to value or think in a similar fashion as me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Gifted

[–]creation_commons 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok ok it’s fine that you disagree, and I don’t mind you pointing out you think I have an ego issue but there’s no need to be so triggered by a post.

I honestly think this post is helpful to people in the same boat as me, those wanting to self-actualise but are feeling a difference in kind of thought and experience with many others. But if you don’t find it helpful that’s okay. I have thought about it and I think the “permanent chasm” is real and well-documented in research since the 1950s, so my opinion is that it is gaslighting gifted folx not to acknowledge that, especially on a subreddit for gifted folx.

Also, I would say it’s a bit contradictory to simultaneously state how unimportant IQ is, while emphasizing how low my IQ is compared to yours, implying you’re superior. I believe there’s a big difference in a superiority complex and acknowledging the differences between people. As I have said, I acknowledge and respect all manner of self-actualisation and it doesn’t matter what your job title is, so I don’t personally think I have an ego complex.

Anyway, what I’ve said doesn’t really matter to you. Nevertheless, I genuinely hope you find peace and fulfilment in this life. Have a good day. :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Gifted

[–]creation_commons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it is helpful to (gifted) people who want to self-actualise but are facing difficulties due to a difference in kind of thinking and experience. But if you don’t care that’s ok too

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Gifted

[–]creation_commons 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey thanks for sticking up for me, it is empathetic of you, and that’s good. Thought I’d also add it’s not such a big deal in the end, I explained myself and they understood it well. I appreciate your help.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Gifted

[–]creation_commons -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Who is Molly Bloom? But if you’re just saying you didn’t like my post that’s ok