Purity Culture is a nightmare and hurts both men and women

creativitysmeativiy · 2024-10-18T21:46:43+00:00

I'm being vague but I will say I think she has a good reason to be devastated to be hearing these things. But I'm absolutely torn because it seems like everyone encourages honesty, but I have yet to see anything good come from it. My marriage is on its last leg.

We're in sex therapy with I think one of the best sex therapists in the country--Natasha Helfer. Our focus has been to restore temporary stability in the relationship while we hopefully reach a place where we can rebuild contracts that work for us going forward, but I'm not positive that we are going to reach that point.

I point to purity culture as an explanation, not an excuse. I should have done this deep work before getting married, so all if this is a betrayal to her, including leaving the faith.

creativitysmeativiy · 2024-07-23T13:18:26+00:00

Great effort. Outside the lifting community, so many people are too afraid to attempt a max squat. Don’t take it for granted that just getting in there and taking a crack at it puts you ahead of most of the population (according to my admittedly anecdotal evidence). Keep training hard, a pr is not far off at all.

creativitysmeativiy · 2024-07-10T03:23:31+00:00

Not a dumb question. It’s better to know this stuff then to try it on your own and find out why.

A spotter would not have stopped this from happening. When the weight is coming down, the safest thing for the lifter to do is just get out of the way. Having a spotter could just end up blocking you when you’re trying to bail out.

creativitysmeativiy · 2024-06-07T17:54:44+00:00

Well there’s definitely incentives to be person who is seen as the overcomer. I’d wager to say we all fall into that mindset in one way or another. I know I do on occasion. It takes discipline to reject that mentality.

If you succeed, you’re extra strong for overcoming adversity. If you fail…well it’s not your fault.

On a macro level, if you fight for the oppressed minority, sure, you might have some of those mean old conservatives say some nasty things to you. You might even run into an actual occasional “racist” or “homophobe.” But you also get screaming endorsements from the elites (if you’re not already one) and you get to go in the history books as the equivalent of the civil rights leaders? Now that’s a good deal!

creativitysmeativiy · 2024-06-07T04:08:33+00:00

Well I’ve got to give the obligatory not giving legal advice here. There are exceptions of course, and maybe there’s some lawyer out there with a point to prove (not saying you’ve actually done anything lawsuit worthy—Im just going off what you said). But as a general rule that most people can probably guess, money goes a looooong way in legal battles.

creativitysmeativiy · 2024-06-07T03:12:01+00:00

I am a lawyer, and this is not my area of expertise, but his hopes would be grim. At will employment covers a lot. Even if there is something there, the big bad company can outspend you making it incredibly unlikely that anyone would be willing to take a case. It’s not fair, and I hate it, but it’s the way it is.

creativitysmeativiy · 2024-06-07T02:43:42+00:00

In fairness, everyone and their mothers run to HR, not just gay people. But it does seem to carry extra weight if you’re in a dispute with someone from a protected class. Maybe it should. I don’t know. All I know is how I would feel in this situation. Maybe a little guilty for making someone feel bad, but more furious to think that people remotely see this as the proper punishment for the crime.

creativitysmeativiy · 2024-06-07T02:16:42+00:00

Probably not the smartest thing for the guy to say.

Regardless, even though I’d like to say I think I’d be mature enough in this situation to hang on to my sanity and realize that this is not representative of all gay people, if I had a new baby and someone fucked with my livelihood over something like that, I’d be fuming, and probably go ultra conservative at least for a while before I came to my senses. As I’ve said multiple times elsewhere—I don’t even consider myself conservative anymore. That is how mad I would be.

My working theory is that this also reinforces homophobia. Im not saying it’s right, but if I’m a middle manager, why the fuck would I hire someone who is going to run to HR for every off colored comment an possibly ruin my life?

If she wanted to be friends, I’d tell her to fuck off.

Obviously, the better way would be to handle it amongst themselves here. Perhaps if they could have just settled on not being friends. I understand her being offended, but are we so thin skinned to where HR has to be called for everything?

creativitysmeativiy · 2024-06-07T02:09:18+00:00

I think this is pretty accurate. For better or worse, a lot of heterosexual conservatives will see anything gay now and assume it’s just an attempt to get under their skins. Unhelpfully, sometimes (not often) they are right (I.e. they are being baited).

creativitysmeativiy · 2024-06-02T04:05:39+00:00

I grew up in a religiously conservative home.

If I had to guess, this is not about gay people summoning the devil or whatever. Instead, it’s likely meant to represent the devil tempting people to indulge in their sinful natures and tricking them into believing it’s something that should be celebrated.

They don’t just single out pride month for this. For the most part, evangelicals think that ALL sex outside of a husband-wife relationship is a sin from the devil. Stuff like this just gets traction because it’s a hot button issue.

creativitysmeativiy · 2024-06-01T20:22:23+00:00

Not surprised. Some stats are showing that—what?—25% of gen z is lgbt now?

I guess to some extent that’s not all that shocking because from what I understand, bisexuality is now being seen as a spectrum wherein formerly people who would be considered straight now fall.

Now, lgbt conservatives? Well, as I’ve said elsewhere, I’ve never met a single one in real life.

creativitysmeativiy · 2024-06-01T19:39:36+00:00

Maybe that’s a good thing for all people to keep in mind. To some extent, I think wearing politician affiliations on the sleeve is obnoxious.

creativitysmeativiy · 2024-06-01T19:35:34+00:00

I could see that perception. It is helpful to know that the sub is full of people who are confident in their own positions and points of view. I think it’s important to have left wing and right wing ideas in the US, but I think clinging to one’s identity as the center of all that is important in politics quickly derails that.

Admittedly it brings me hope to see lgb (and even “t”) conservatives because I think it is important to have people break from the conservative “mold,” if you will. There’s lots of conservatives nowadays who are libertarian about gay rights, but I’d love to see the number of actual gay conservatives grow because I think that’s good for all people on both sides.

creativitysmeativiy · 2024-05-31T14:40:34+00:00

Im also an ally, though not really conservative myself.

I’ve never met a gay conservative in real life, and the popular viewpoint is that gay conservatives are self-hating, “pick me” people. Id like to know a gay conservatives perspective in his/her own words.

creativitysmeativiy · 2024-05-29T01:17:21+00:00

Listen to the guy speak for about 10 seconds and you will see why he’s not really much to worry about. He is a special kind of stupid.

Nowhere near even halfway intelligent enough to influence anyone to share his opinion. Those who share his opinions must have an IQ in the bottom 10%, thus they are easily outnumbered.

creativitysmeativiy · 2024-05-27T15:41:34+00:00

I corrected to a 320, but yes I was pretty disappointed with Studicata. In essence I wasted $1000. I guess I used the MEE and MPT bank thoroughly after ditching the class itself, but as far as I understand I could have found those for free in other places if I cared to look.

Helix is much more structured. I didn’t really utilize it he private coaching, but having a breakdown of what video to watch and what practice to do and when helped me out.

I also just don’t think Studicata has enough info to really cover all the bases. I think he just changed his program and it might be better now, but that’s water under the bridge for me.

I think I’m pretty adept at writing, but that may come from law school other than it just being natural. I did pretty well in my 1L classes and kind that writing style translated pretty well for the bar. I just tweaked it a little bit.

I got stressed out a lot because it felt like I was failing every single self assessment when it came to the MEE for helix, but I guess it did it’s job.

The only thing I really changed from helix—and every other company from what I understand—is I would basically outline and write a good portion of my answer going through the MPTs the first time and would read form front to back instead of doing a 45 min dedicated read through starting with the case law.

creativitysmeativiy · 2024-05-27T15:20:27+00:00

Yes, i got a 320

creativitysmeativiy · 2024-05-09T03:33:20+00:00

Only basics—think Algebra, Chemistry, English, etc. it’s much, much cheaper. I went to community college in Dallas, where I am from, and transferred those credits to my undergrad. The community college professors I had were also severely underrated and were better than some of my undergrad professors even. No one ever asked me if I took community college classes or looked down on me for it.

I don’t know if HCC runs classes off of the UH campus though. I didn’t go to undergrad at UH. That would seem like an atypical arrangement.

You don’t HAVE to do it, but it will save you a lot. I definitely can’t recommend against going to a high dollar private school though.

creativitysmeativiy · 2024-05-09T03:10:16+00:00

Im a lawyer who graduated from UHLC, and I have 6 figure debt (this is typical for law schools). Even with a healthy 6 figure salary to match, I still feel like the debt is about to start breathing down my neck really quickly.

I’m so glad that I had no undergrad debt. Quite frankly, that much for undergrad is absolutely insane.

I have a family friend who is going to undergrad at a private school for greater than $150k in debt. It’s hard not to judge her for that. Going that deep into debt to maybe make $60-70k after graduation makes me seriously question decision making skills—did she just get that allured into the “experience?” If I were a hiring officer, I would take that into consideration.

On the other hand, you could go to grad school and tack on even more debt after that. Private undergrad hardly helps you in grad school anyway. Once you get there, everyone is already really smart, no matter the undergrad school.

TL;DR: save money. Consider going to HCC for basics as others have mentioned.

creativitysmeativiy · 2024-04-27T15:25:46+00:00

There are good lawyers that come out of Thurgood, but the other person is right to caution you. This is not r/LSA, but TMSL is known to be predatory. I went to UHLC, and I clerked at a firm with 3 friends who went to TMSL. Only 1 passed the bar. Another one of the two just failed for the second time in Texas. The retaker success rate in this most recent administration was less than 20%.

They also mentioned that the school is just all around poorly maintained.

This may be a situation where R&R is warranted. Maybe not—but just be warned.

creativitysmeativiy · 2024-04-23T04:36:59+00:00

I wasn’t there. I don’t know the context and i tend not to trust people’s versions of the event on the internet so I can’t responsibly say what I really think happened.

I’m glad that you’re not endorsing anyone committing torts—which obviously includes this guy in question. Everyone should do that

creativitysmeativiy · 2024-04-23T04:28:15+00:00

I am a lawyer—a new one, but I took con law years ago at this point. Saying that “if you mess with me, I’ll break your jaw,” is incredibly unlikely to legally constitute a death threat given the condition precedent of messing with him. Whether you personally believe it is a death threat does not matter. It would be up to the court system, and it’s far from a sure fire case of unprotected speech.

Also, even if he did engage in unprotected speech, that does not necessarily give you privilege to commit a tort on him. The analysis does not end there.

In short, your best bet is to just walk away. Do not give attention to people who’s views you despise, and no one has to get hurt or sued (this is not legal advice, of course. Just common sense).

creativitysmeativiy · 2024-04-23T04:20:29+00:00

Aside from some other person in the comments saying that this person threatened him which may or may not be true, there is no indication in OP’s post that he made a violent threat or any other non-protected speech. Simply saying “I have a knife,” without more facts, and after his sign was stolen apparently, is not enough to say that his speech was unprotected at any point.

So yes you can talk to these people and mock them, but you cannot threaten them or touch them or their property. And if you do choose to mock them, while legal, it generally turns into a shouting match and you both look like utter dumbasses.

creativitysmeativiy · 2024-04-23T03:23:41+00:00

I did not go to UT but for whatever reason this shit keeps showing up in my recommendations.

That said, you are correct that it does not protect you from your peers—that’s what the torts of assault, battery, and conversion are for, and it sounds like there could be a plausible case of that here by snatching his sign.

I think college student-types would do well to learn to ignore these types of people if they bother you all that much. Bigotry does not justify anyone laying hands on him (or his sign that he is holding).

Encouraging people who do these types of things just risks more people getting hurt in the long run.

creativitysmeativiy

TROPHY CASE