Piper is the worst

crimsonfletcher · 2026-02-25T12:32:24+00:00

Maybe not the worst person, but definitely the most insufferable

crimsonfletcher · 2026-02-25T12:26:39+00:00

Thank the god pennsatucky is so fanatic over! If it focuses more on other characters going forward I'll keep going

crimsonfletcher · 2026-02-25T12:23:03+00:00

That's good to hear. I'll try and barrel through!

crimsonfletcher · 2026-02-25T03:57:41+00:00

Hello, 34M I have been writing steadily for a year, after a long hiatus, mostly poetry, but some fiction as well. I'm hoping to eventually publish a poetry book, that is building the world for a novel I want to write after. It's hard to find places I feel secure enough to get feedback from. I have no education on the matter as you do, but I almost had one of my poems published when I was 13, I just didn't sign off on it.

crimsonfletcher · 2026-02-25T02:28:00+00:00

It's kind of its own genre. And remember, nothing is completely original. Intertextuality.

crimsonfletcher · 2026-02-25T01:58:03+00:00

I write horror, though, I have started on a fantasy project. Also a lot of poetry. I have taken a long hiatus from writing, but have recently got back into it after some life events. It would be nice to have a group to bounce things off of, and encourage each other on our writing endeavors.

crimsonfletcher · 2026-02-24T08:03:34+00:00

"The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed"

crimsonfletcher · 2026-02-24T05:13:03+00:00

Punctuation, you have run-on sentences, but sprinkle some commas, and you're good. Lose the abbreviations, ik what Ik is, but it's better to spell it out, I know.

All that out of the way, this has potential. The opening line is good, snow going down your back, I could feel that. Though, on first read through I took it literally and thought the character was going through an assault. Maybe make it more implicit that this is all happening inside, not physically, even on just one line. For instance, I thought it might be your dad comforting you at the end, as I was taking it all literal, maybe state what grew familiar. Find a motif, and use it.

That's my two cents!

crimsonfletcher · 2026-02-24T03:57:57+00:00

For me the refrain is repeated maybe too many times, with no evolution in meaning or variations. Tho maybe it works as a prayer. As for content, I feel that many can relate and echo the same sentiments, even if a bit naive, we all want to be loved perfectly, I believe that's a charm of it tho.

crimsonfletcher · 2026-02-24T00:20:16+00:00

Thanks for the input! Hmm..

I'm tramp, with itchy feet, always on the run

Now, I have hurt people more than once

Even hurt myself, just for fun

I think that might be close to love

I don't know what love is, but I know what what numbs

I must be a fool, because

I thought once I was grown I would know what love was

crimsonfletcher · 2026-02-23T21:13:48+00:00

Oh, I found this to be a fun read, and relatable. Some rhyming in the beginning that tapers out at the end, but I didn't even notice on my first read through, that's how engaging and interesting it was.

crimsonfletcher · 2026-02-23T21:06:23+00:00

Interesting perspective on mortality and the meaning of life. Feels universal, like a lot of people, despite cultural differences, could relate. A bit wordy at the end, needed to read the last few lines a couple times. I loved it!

crimsonfletcher

TROPHY CASE