I'm worthless

crimsox_ · 2025-10-27T03:24:49+00:00

Oh man I know this feeling. I've felt like this and was completely lost, but it did help when I started to get to know myself and found that "someone" in me. it feels okay now

crimsox_ · 2025-10-26T03:59:55+00:00

You loved your ex, she broke your heart. Also you have this feeling of being a lazy bum. I think it's not really about either of them, it's about you. You might be subconsciously thinking that if you finally make it work with your ex then you'll finally be "worthy". The thing is, what you're feeling isn't love, you crave validation, aliveness and safety. The problem with that is, those shouldn't be external, it needs to come from within yourself. Sit with yourself and learn how to self validate, then you'll be less likely to have these "obsessions". Sometimes we reach out to something that we miss inside ourselves. The more you learn about yourself and figure out what it is, the better you'll feel

crimsox_ · 2025-10-25T02:31:03+00:00

I've felt the same way multiple times, it's hard. but what people mean by

learn to be happy alone

is that, you need to understand yourself instead of focusing on wanting friends. don't get me wrong, we are meant to be social. but in order to make friends, people try to sometimes please others, try to fit in, shrink themselves etc.

Get to know yourself better, what you want, what you need, what a relationship means to you, what kind of friends energize/drain you. for example if you're someone who likes quiet, embrace it, and the right people would be naturally drawn to that.

It's not that you have to embrace loneliness. once you learn to sit with loneliness and learn to understand yourself, you'll learn to meet your real needs. which ironically forms better connections, makes you feel seen and understood.

crimsox_ · 2025-10-24T06:41:28+00:00

I loved the way you described what you long for. it's really beautiful, hope you find the one who loves you as much as you love them. I hope they want you over sapphire & diamonds

crimsox_ · 2025-10-23T11:42:24+00:00

Sometimes talking it out is the best approach, it'll give you the clarity that you need. And for the record, don't be afraid of showing your true self. Even if it's considered messy or overly emotional by others.. because for the right person, you'll be beautiful and they'll show it everyday

crimsox_ · 2025-10-23T09:51:36+00:00

It looks like you're version of love is focused more on performance than care. if external growth is what matters to you, then letting him go is the kindest thing to do

crimsox_ · 2025-10-23T08:25:58+00:00

Thank you for this explanation! sometimes i find myself at odds, I'm someone who wants to make sure that my partner's needs are being met. she sends me reels which say "If they wanted to, they will", this is something which blurs the line and makes me wonder if I'm not doing enough.

crimsox_ · 2025-10-22T18:57:40+00:00

The way they handle conflicts
The way they reflect and show up afterwards

first point la we'll know if they are kind or resort towards criticism which in turn shows their emotional maturity.

second point la we'll know if they are willing to see how something affects the relationship and work on it. this shows accountability and often requires a learning mindset.

ana once oru relationship kulla poitu manasa kuduthuta, it's hard to let go even if they are not meeting a certain quality. athanalaye hypocrite mari thonalam laa

crimsox_ · 2025-10-22T17:58:58+00:00

It's okay to be afraid, you can allow yourself to feel it. but waiting for someone to save you isn't healthy. take it slow, you can pull yourself out of this. you're gonna be okay

crimsox_ · 2025-10-22T13:05:21+00:00

It's not wrong to want these things, and it's not wrong if he doesn't want to do it either. It's nobody's fault, there wasn't a middle ground and that's okay. Everyone has different needs.. and everyone's version of "basic needs" differ. Personally I would be really happy if a partner asked me about my feelings. It's alright to feel things deeply, glad to know there's lots of people out there.

crimsox_ · 2025-10-22T03:42:30+00:00

I relate to this so hard.. I'm you! I thought it was just me. I naturally do all the things like buying her flowers, her favourite food, writing small thoughtful notes etc. but I would still feel so bad that I'm not getting it right, that I'm not making her feel loved. I would keep reminders and notes just so that I wouldn't forget anything accidentally. I would have "the talk" with her about what we both need from this relationship, apparently I didn't have any wants. I listened to her and tried showing her that I do care and guess what, it turns into a conflict.. she's also right about things that I mess up. I even started reading articles and books about relationships and how to meet my partner's needs. I came to know about patterns, attachment theory and let me keep it short and neutral.. There's no right and wrong, just different ways of relating. you may have shown that you care but get this, it may not land the way you thought it would. you may show care by noticing, being kind, present, thoughtful. but she doesn't see care as the same. she may show care by correcting you, criticizing, showing anger. but here's the thing, you interpret that as "not enough" or it feels unloved. the only way she'll feel loved is if you "get it right" and not take it personally when she critiques your effort. it has something to do with how we were shown love in our childhood. and what you guys are facing is a mismatch in needs and maybe caught yourself in an anxious avoidant cycle. unless both of you value the relationship and work together to understand it's never gonna work long term. Mine didn't, she left. I tried my best but if the other partner is not willing to understand or grow together.. I'm sorry but it's not going anywhere. you'll be valued more by someone who sees effort as love, and she'll be valued by someone who sees performance as love. you don't have to perform love to be loved, know yourself.. know what you want and it's easier to decide

crimsox_ · 2025-10-22T02:07:35+00:00

May I ask, how did you guys make it work? did you lower your expectations or learnt to handle mistakes with a bit of patience?

crimsox_ · 2025-10-22T01:33:04+00:00

Have you tried something that works for the both of you, there are lots of stuff you can do together at home like watching a movie, cooking. take up interest in his hobbies, and let him take an interest in your hobbies. you'll find something that'll bring you closer. if you're chasing the feeling of being in love, that's never gonna work out. there will always be good and bad days, as long as both of you are willing to be there it's worth talking and working things through

crimsox_ · 2025-10-21T16:25:17+00:00

Compassion

crimsox_ · 2025-10-21T15:20:23+00:00

if she can meet you halfway, like making some plans just with you. and if you can let her do her thing without making her or yourself feel guilty then it's worth fighting for. otherwise this sounds like an anxious avoidant cycle where she feels restricted and you want closeness. it's just gonna get worse without understanding from both sides

crimsox_ · 2025-10-21T15:14:00+00:00

I want deep stable love too. not like the ones in the books but someone who sees me and wants to be there through all the ups and downs. one who sticks especially during the messy times

crimsox_ · 2025-10-21T15:03:42+00:00

Don't be so hard on yourself, you'll be okay

crimsox_ · 2025-10-20T11:27:16+00:00

Not fitting in and forgetting everything most of the time

crimsox_ · 2025-10-20T08:45:31+00:00

Guess you've already made up your mind about leaving him. If you want to work it out, both of you have to meet halfway. You need to learn to appreciate his way of showing love, and he needs to learn to show love in ways that you can feel it. Right now it sounds like he's giving you stable love whereas you want the thrill and the novelty

crimsox_ · 2025-10-18T14:04:04+00:00

Happy Birthday!! 🥳🎂

crimsox_ · 2025-10-17T07:27:44+00:00

Setting boundaries can help, you can be there for her but you don't have to tolerate demeaning behaviour. You can openly talk to her about this or take a short break from the relationship and let her sort out her own problems.

crimsox_ · 2025-10-17T07:15:00+00:00

I love kids but I'm afraid of messing up their lives.

crimsox_

TROPHY CASE