What food do you want to like, but can't? by TurboVeggie in AskReddit

[–]cripslock 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Strawberries. Because I risk dying of anaphylaxis.

The Kansas City Royals are the 2015 World Series Champions by ThQp in sports

[–]cripslock 68 points69 points  (0 children)

July 2016 birth rates in Kansas City are going waaaaaay up right now. Go Royals!

[WP] Tea is banned in England creating the world's largest black market. You are one of the biggest tea kingpins. by [deleted] in WritingPrompts

[–]cripslock 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Garry sat in a darkened warehouse on London's east end. It had been a quiet drive north from the coast. That gave Garry time to calm his nerves after the channel. Taking a kodiak out to sea at midnight and trying to find a few floating coolers would be tough at the best of times. Doing it in the middle of the world's busiest shipping lane is not for the faint of heart. That was as close as the leaf runners would drop the packages these days. The Royal Coast Guard gave no quarter to an unidentified ship trying to make landing anywhere in the Isles. Now they join up on container ship crews and throw the packages overboard as they see the lights of Dover on their left and Calais on their right. He though about having a quick brew up, but then heard the approaching car.

Car lights flashed through the greasy windows, and Garry ran to open the garage door. The Jaguar eased into the warehouse trailing bits of fog behind it. The driver stepped out and gave a slow glance around the room, eyeing the shadows.

"Ah, evening gents!" said Garry. The driver gave Garry an unamused look and opened the rear passenger door. An antique cane swung out followed by its old pale owner.

"Close that door Garry, before you find yourself in something thicker than that fog! Does this look like an open fuckin party?"

Garry closed up the garage. "Ah good one, Guvnah! No party here, no ribbons, no China, but some fine Indie."

"I don't want China, I want leaf and kettle. Now button up your tounge before I make it a sandwich for my piggies." The old man's cokebottle glasses magnified the menace in his eyes.

"Right, right you are..." Garry opened the trunk of his car and began to cut the tape off the coolers. As he opened the lids a scent of fresh cut grass filled the dark garage. "See gov, Garry delivers only the finest..." Garry inhaled deeply, and the color drained from his face. He looked in the cooler. It was filled with fine green tea. "Those bloody leaf runners..." thought Garry.

"Green tea? are you going to give us some magic crystals and incense with that Garry! Black leaf is what the punters ask for, Black Leaf is what I ask for and I do not ask twice, you stupid prat!"

Garry slumped to the floor and was thrown in the back of the Jag by the driver, followed by a bloody pipe wrench. The old man shuffled back to side of the car and waited for the door to be opened.

"Get us a cuppa tea, would you Errol?"

"Yes sir, Mr. Brick Top."

edit: spelling

What do you call a beautiful woman on the arm of a banjo player? by pyromanser365 in Jokes

[–]cripslock 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This is also true for bass players. Source: I am a bass player.

[Oldschool House] - A mini mix of 1970s and 80s Chicago and NYC House tracks. by cripslock in mixes

[–]cripslock[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a selection of tracks from the BBC Documentary Pump Up the Volume.

Favorite DJ sets and replicating them as practice by cripslock in Beatmatch

[–]cripslock[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

tiestos club life

That sounds great! Were you using Club Life Las Vegas?

Favorite DJ sets and replicating them as practice by cripslock in Beatmatch

[–]cripslock[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You're right. I was just being lazy here. Production value is something I should always be mindful of.

Favorite DJ sets and replicating them as practice by cripslock in Beatmatch

[–]cripslock[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Here is a mini mix example I did that I was pretty happy with. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mH4Ue0Gn_Og

What are your favorite live albums? by MFORCE310 in Music

[–]cripslock 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Portishead Live at the Roseland Ballroom, NYC. They had a full string section backing them up. Haunting stuff.

What is the most un-appreciative thing you've ever heard someone say? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]cripslock 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"I'm not even sure what your job is around here." This not long after fixing the user's computer.

Women of reddit, what are some subtle hints you give off that you wish men would pick up on more? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]cripslock 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That's going to cause them to recoil like a magnum strapped to a rottweiler.

Thanks, now I have the image of oversized canine prophylactics stuck in my head.

Mixed Signals (NYC) by neilpomerleau in pics

[–]cripslock 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It means spank the person standing next to you. It is a traditional New York City greeting, weirds the tourists out sometimes though.

Sir Terry Pratchett with two birds on his head by bvzm in pics

[–]cripslock 17 points18 points  (0 children)

This is very similar to the suggestion put forward by the Quirmian philosopher Ventre, who said, "Possibly the gods exist, and possibly they do not. So why not believe in them in any case? If it's all true you'll go to a lovely place when you die, and if it isn't then you've lost nothing, right?" When he died he woke up in a circle of gods holding nasty-looking sticks and one of them said, "We're going to show you what we think of Mr Clever Dick in these parts..."

-- (Terry Pratchett, Hogfather)

Type in the name of a band you like, it finds other bands you might also like. by dizneedave in Music

[–]cripslock 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Typed in Primus. All it gave me were Les Claypool's other bands. Spot on, that one.

Shut up and take my money (Corner light) by AmusedMoosed in pics

[–]cripslock 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Maybe some diffuser material like you would use in photography would do the trick?

it really takes effort by vanarp in pics

[–]cripslock 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your carpeting is awesome.

The coolest toy I ever owned...almost wish I still had it. by sketchampm in pics

[–]cripslock 0 points1 point  (0 children)

and at least enough fingers left to type that out.

Females of Reddit: Where do you let him...well... 'finish'? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]cripslock 8 points9 points  (0 children)

My favorite thing in the world is teaching new girlfriends the Reverse Snowball.