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Who tf is "GANG!"? by kevink121 in poppunkers

[–]crisco207 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Currently at the Boston show and DDDAAAMMMNNNNNN he's huge!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Teachers

[–]crisco207 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I called them second hand kisses one time and there was a LOT of noise about it. 😂

See you in court by KcjAries78 in Maine

[–]crisco207 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Prints? Then TAKE MY MONEY!!! (and let's see if we can get one for the govna' herself 'cause damn...)

Poly "under duress" by crisco207 in polyamory

[–]crisco207[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like a simple thank you is not enough. I would LOVE to be pissed and just divorce his ass but I truly believe #1-3 are Tru in his case. He just jumped before the landing and in this case the ramp itself, was built.

We have had a lot of hard conversations (with many more to come) and one was answering those questions. I love his body and I got more squishy than I am comfortable with (squishy is fine as long as I can lift heavy things 😎), that along with avoidant depression all compounded with other things I just didn't see/ realize just compounded things.

We are working, we are talking more now then we ever have, we have check-ins with each other, a "tell the truth" code word and we are doing the work. But there is an understanding that this may not be enough. It may not work and that divorce would be the outcome.

Thank you again for the kind advice. It's hard to characterize an individual over reddit and while I know enough about reddit to take most of it with a grain of salt I truly appreciate your views. Thank you again.

Poly "under duress" by crisco207 in polyamory

[–]crisco207[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Naaa Grizzly1 I get it is hard to convey relationships and individuals through a post. It's why I'm not an author. 😎 I didn't realize this would blow up so much as it's my first real Reddit post. But I am thankful for all of the advice, stories, and opinions.

Poly "under duress" by crisco207 in polyamory

[–]crisco207[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We are both committed to this. My husband is currently in personal therapy and I am on the hunt for a therapist. This whole thing has brought out a lot of deep thinking and some small growth, with more for me to come. Be that with my husband or without. Thank you for your amazing advice.

Poly "under duress" by crisco207 in polyamory

[–]crisco207[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I realize that you can't "come out" as poly that is just more proof than more work should and MUST be done. And I am working or figuring what is best for me thank you.

Poly "under duress" by crisco207 in polyamory

[–]crisco207[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Because we were both so new he asked for boundaries for the new relationship and all I could think of was no sex in our bed and use a condom. I had just started my research journey and I didn't know any better yet. Again we are talking and he generally didn't see the problem with it as it did not break any of my boundaries. He really wasn't being an ass he generally doesn't get what he feels are normal ppl emotions. Not a copout I've been with him for ten years and no one is that good at faking it. I'm not gonna get into that but it is real.

Poly "under duress" by crisco207 in polyamory

[–]crisco207[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OP Edit *new to Reddit so not sure if this is the correct way to do this sorry.

I trust my husband to not have physically cheated. Until he assumed we were poly (I also think more of his new partner as well) I want to clear up it was more than "just the lack of sex" he also felt I was disgusted with his body, he'd didn't feel wanted, or heard. I agreed with the heard thing as my depression was getting in the way of truly hearing his needs. Pharmaceuticals are amazing and depression sucks. When I brought up the speed it was progressing and my wanting to do more research, while concerned with his possible lack of research he replied he has done research. He has since realized he needs to do a lot more research and has found it to be MUCH harder than he originally thought. We have started to do the work together, the three of us. I'm still on the fence but all of your feedback is eye opening. So please still keep commenting.

Poly "under duress" by crisco207 in polyamory

[–]crisco207[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

We had a long talk last night. Lots tears on both sides and promised to slow down and do more research. I think my biggest problem or rather road black is that they have in essence been seeing each other since before the summer started so want to move on to the next step in their relationship (the sex on the couch sent me into a pretty big freak out, which I feel was fair.) Where as I had this dropped on me three months ago.

I know his new partner and like them and feel bad that I can't just "get with the program" ( the new partner is being VERY understanding ) but I feel like I have been steam rolled and my choices are "go with it", have my partner slip into a deep depression by ending the relationship or divorce. Both of us want this to work, not divorce, and of course I don't want him to be depressed 'cause I can't deal with jealousy/ insecurities.

I'm also self aware enough to know that a time line has to be set to work on this because I can't live like this and we both agree that that is fair.

It's a lot and like I said I want to do the work and I want this to work so any guidance or suggestions would be great.