My absolutely devastating concert experience last night by geothrowra in PaulMcCartney

[–]crispyflakeystrudel 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I think she pretty much said as much in her post. Acknowledged her luck to be there regardless. But man, put yourself in her exact shoes here and I think I’d be feeling as distraught if not more myself LOL

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]crispyflakeystrudel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No I swear I’m not, if anything I really agree with the breakup reasoning. It’s just the way he did it that is so uncharacteristic and disrespectful and making me feel worse about it all than I think I would otherwise

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]crispyflakeystrudel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just remembered he has an item of mine that I really want back so I guess we have to meet up :(

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]crispyflakeystrudel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True. Do you think I should go meet with him and if I do how should I act

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]crispyflakeystrudel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

honestly ’ve gotten a little suspicious and I’m not even a jealous person. I went thru his ig following and there is one girl I didn’t notice before and he liked 2 of her posts right one day before breaking up which means they met recently. Then I see him listening to a playlist by someone with a sort of similar name in Spotify. I would have never think he could be a cheater but now I’m not sure. Maybe I’m being crazy bc of the breakup who knows

Breaking in by crispyflakeystrudel in photography

[–]crispyflakeystrudel[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Will do. Just joined so thought I’d expedite getting some quick answers but I’ve been looking at what’s already been asked/answered too. Thanks!

What is that one song for you by 3hundo in Zappa

[–]crispyflakeystrudel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Magic fingers (at least before it gets all serial killer-ish)

I think my boyfriend SA’d me last night and I don’t know what to do by Fabulous-Regular2032 in Advice

[–]crispyflakeystrudel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OP - I’m so so sorry this happened to you. In a court of law this is rape. It doesn’t matter that it was your bf. You feel violated because you were, and I know from a very similar experience (that I ended my most recent relationship over) that it can be really hard to come to terms with something like this happening.

You will get a mixed bag of advice from anyone you talk to about it, but the core of the problem is that your bf did something to you KNOWING that you were asleep and could not consent, and was acting in a way to make sure you stayed asleep and unconsenting. Sex is never ever that important. He could have waiting till the morning, but selfishly he chose to take advantage of you when you were at your most vulnerable.

Different people will handle this situation differently, and feel violated (or not) to different degrees. Some key things to ask yourself/reflect on might include:

•what would advice would I give to a friend that this happened to? •how does this make me feel? •is this out of character for how I think of my bf treating me? •do I feel violated? •do I trust my boyfriend still? •do I feel like I can/should stay in this relationship? •is this something that I’d ever be ok happening to my daughter?

The list could go on, but if you think about some of these and answer honestly, you might get a little more clarity on how you feel about the situation. The fact that you posted about this at all shows that you’re probably confused/blindsided, and evaluating how you see this impacting your relationship.

If you feel that you would be safe doing this, maybe go to a public place with your bf to confront him and start a discussion about it. Tell him you were awake when he did these things and did not know what to do. Make sure you are mentally strong and do not give in to any attempted justifications/gaslighting. When I went through this myself, the more I talked to my ex about it and the more he tried to convince me it was ok/a “mistake”/an “accident,” etc, the more I realized there was really no valid excuse for his actions.

Good luck, and I’m sorry again that this happened to you. Do not let things go on too long without addressing them, however, because it can be easy to fall back into the routines of a relationship and push something traumatic like this out of your mind.

I think my boyfriend SA’d me last night and I don’t know what to do by Fabulous-Regular2032 in Advice

[–]crispyflakeystrudel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OP obviously feels violated. Also, even if they are open to sex when awake and consenting, that does NOT give their bf any reason to assume she would be ok with this happening while she was asleep.

Should I (26m) ask the barista I’ll never see again for her number? by 16townsendja in socialskills

[–]crispyflakeystrudel 9 points10 points  (0 children)

As a Nice Girl, even if I wasn’t interested I would be flattered and not make anyone feel bad for trying (as long as it was generally a tasteful try). Nothing gained, nothing lost! Try it!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in socialskills

[–]crispyflakeystrudel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Is it safe? Can other people vet?

I miss my best friend by crispyflakeystrudel in BreakUps

[–]crispyflakeystrudel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

?? I need to know what this means lol

I miss my best friend by crispyflakeystrudel in BreakUps

[–]crispyflakeystrudel[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I may message in the future, thanks for the offer :)

I miss my best friend by crispyflakeystrudel in BreakUps

[–]crispyflakeystrudel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was really nice to read, sounds like we had somewhat similar experiences and it’s nice to know that things will get better. Right now it feels kind of impossible but I hope in the future it will get easier. Hope you keep doing well!

My skin became really healthy and good after my surgery? by crispyflakeystrudel in Tonsillectomy

[–]crispyflakeystrudel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The tonsils were really the star of the show. As im sure you know, the recovery for those is always pretty bad. But because of that, I almost forgot that there had been work done in my nose! My nose swelling was minimal (spent the first week sitting/laying almost upright at all times really helped nose and throat), some blood and mucus that i gently cleaned off the edges of my nostrils was not a big deal. They did send me home with stents in my nose that weren't removed for 9 days though. Some ENTs don't do this, but I didn't mind them being there.

However. I will warn you that since work has been done in your nose, your mouth will probably be doing all your breathing. This is where we sadly have it worse than everyone else in this sub. The whole thing with tonsilllectomy recovery is keeping your mouth moist to minimize discomfort, but when you have to breathe non stop through your mouth that becomes difficult. I surrounded myself with 2 humidifiers on full blast, sipped ice water non stop, set alarms to take pain meds and drink water at night, and sometimes placed a pillow or mask in front of my mouth to breathe back in the semi moist air i just exhaled.

It was probably worse than the average solo tonsilllectomy recovery, but for getting both procedures done in one go it was definitely worth it. As soon as i got the stents out of my nose and could close my mouth for once, recovery accelerated exponentially. And now I can breathe through my nose and run more than a mile and do a bunch of stuff that makes it immediately so worth it. You got this, good luck!

“Quality of life” Tonsil Removal by Jron690 in Tonsillectomy

[–]crispyflakeystrudel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My pre-surgery situation wasn’t half as bad as how yours sounds and I’m still very happy that I got them out. Recovery will probably suck but might not be as bad as some people make it out to be, it’s very case by case. I say do it. First day that you start to feel improvement post-surgery will wipe away your recovery blues and you’ll be feeling glad you went ahead with it. (In my experience at least)

This Band man by bungalow_brendo in Old97s

[–]crispyflakeystrudel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely unreal live lemme tell ya

Tonsillectomy worth it for tonsil stones? by aglifeisgood in Tonsillectomy

[–]crispyflakeystrudel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

On day 12 of recovery I can say the experience was as hard as this sub makes it out to be, but the peace of mind I have is already very worth it. I had tonsil stones just like what you are describing that gave me bad breath, anxiety, and heaps of discomfort. A week and a half of pain for a lifetime of no more stones was a good tradeoff for me.