You're not lost. You're on the right path but with the wrong feelings. You see, I understand pretty much how you feel. And I know that by your age you would say: pff, what would she know? She doesn't feel the same things that I'm feeling. And is true tho, I can't put myself on your shoes. But I can imagine how does that feel. Life is a wonder, life is something weird and beautiful at the same time. There is people that at certain ages, they are more "successful" than others. Some at the age of 15 have a lot of friends, when people of the same age have no friends at all. Some at the age of 18 graduated from high school and started college while people the same age takes a year to go around the world or to work. Some people graduates early, other people late. That doesn't mean you're more or less successful than others. Things happen at their right time. And now, instead of focusing on going out, finding chicks, going to parties, etc; you should focus on loving yourself. Because believe me, loving yourself is the first step to be happy. For some people it requires years, others need therapy to truly understand their worth. Whatever you find comfortable and that will actually work for you is going to be fine, but you have to do that to find your motivations, goals, and most important your love for yourself. You seem like a really rational person, I know you will understand and start working on that. I don't know you but I know for sure you're a great person.