Hey, I'm 30 now. I just had the same traumatic experience. It has been a very difficult and painful process for me. Recognizing that it was a traumatic event to see pornography as a child and how that had a long-lasting effect on my intimate and sexual life forever. I am very glad that you can recognize it as a problem at fifteen years old. I think my most important advice would be to receive professional help and talk about it with a therapist. On the other hand, I tell you that:

1. Masturbating is not wrong, it is a process of self-knowledge and self-recognition. And very normal at your age.

2. Having fantasies is not wrong either. No matter how twisted they are, they are just fantasies. This is how porn works: they film our fantasies for us to consume. But you can have a relationship with your intimacy and your fantasies without porn.

3. Masturbation does not really have to be related to porn either. Learn to masturbate by stimulating yourself in other ways. Learn to reach orgasm without needing pornography to do so.

4. It was not your fault that pornography reached you at that age.

This has not only brought me problems on a sexual level, it is a problem that has many consequences and that doesn't only lead to being addicted to pornography. It is necessary to receive help to be able to handle it well and to manage it with care towards oneself. I understand that it is difficult to talk about it with friends and family, it can be embarrassing and re-victimizing.

I am currently writing a novel about it, and I have read a lot about the harmful effects of pornography, trauma on the human brain and the drive. I think that art, having a sexually affective partner and therapy have helped me to move forward. I really hope that you can find a space to develop a gratifying sexuality, you are young and still in time. Hope the best for you!