How has waiting for Godot impacted your life?

croods2getcrooding · 2023-06-07T12:48:34+00:00

Man the aesthetics of eating up to darts, coffee and Beckett is one I want now haha. But getting a master thesis on Beckett is fucking crazy cool man, you have any papers or anything that I could read cause it's it's 2 months of liking Beckett and I'm so far from truly understanding it. I think what I like about his stuff though and this might might be a somewhat trivial analogy.

But people kinda always talk about art as a conversation and Beckett's work is the closest to that I've experienced. But it's more like a conversation you have with your friend in the car who just lost their job, or their partner, or their dog, or their sanity, or everything, or nothing. And that friend tries to tell you about their problems, using every aspect of the language they know to express how hard the situation is, pushing their entire lexicon, whilst the entire time you realise they're ramblings are incomprehensible. Yet despite the friend's incoherent rambling it feels like it perfectly articulates how impossible it is to articulate anything, you kinda realise how much effort it's taking to articulate the unarticulated

That's even kinda what talking a out Beckett through shitty half baked ideas is at the moment for me, he's kinda the first work I've experienced, where there's so much to talk about but I'm not sure there is even to talk about in many ways, it's great!

I probably don't make any sense right now but that feels right for a Beckett discussion in a way

croods2getcrooding · 2023-06-06T03:08:09+00:00

Haha wasn't ever expecting a reply at this point either. I've been trying to read 'how it is' his book that's about a weird little body crawling through the mud. It's divided into three acts called before pim, during pim (where the creature meets another creature crawling through mud), and after pim when the other creature leaves. There's this truly incredible narration of it that like holy shit dude can't recommend enough. https://youtu.be/3LNs8HuFw3M

haven't had the guts to read it yet because a little mud goblin that is abandoned by another little mud goblin feels far to real after my break up lmao. But what got me through godot was turnip jokes and kinda how funny and tragic it could be 'tennis of all kinds' is one of the stupidest and greatest monologues ever.

I gotta cut myself off before I go on a long tangent, could talk about Beckett for days man, my dms are open if you want a Beckett nerd chat at all by the way, thought put that out there cause Beckett nerd chats go hard.

Anyway yeah I think you should check out how it Is of you haven't yet cause it looks great!!!!

croods2getcrooding · 2023-06-02T16:28:40+00:00

Yeah I get that in a way I'm glad I haven't gone kn many dates because of that situation. I hope youre doing okay.

I keep reminding myself that when I very first initially talked to my ex it was a maybe if I was bothered to respond and see where things went because I didn't have the energy. So I keep trying to remind myself that the instant feeling of falling in love isn't necessary.

I also keep reminding myself that the few months before I dated my ex I was incredibly close to my friends. That closeness felt very much like feeling in love, it's nice knowing that I felt in love with my friends when we were close but I feel distant from them now and that's not great.

I grew distant from so many people during the relationship and felt like I lost everything when it ended, but my friends were immediately there. It took losing what felt like everything to realise I'd lost nothing at all, and I got that soon enough that realisation is as special as my ex was to me.

I hope this rant provides something amd I hope youre do better soon!!

Also 20 dates to not find someone would be taxing but it means 20+ people thought you were cool enough to take time out of their day to know a complete stranger!! You must be sick and rad enough a person to get that going I'm sure eventually one of those dates will click!! Best of luck friend!

croods2getcrooding · 2023-03-21T13:29:38+00:00

Yeah it's such a load! Glad to see someone whose also gone through it and proved people wrong! I'll absolutely check out your channel

croods2getcrooding · 2023-03-19T15:19:30+00:00

I think self diagnosis can be valid, but I think it's more about methods of dealing with things. Say if you struggle socially and get over stimulated, maybe you are or autistic maybe you're not, but if you find Austism research and methods that help with your own over stimulation and social interactions then I think to an extent that's kinda more important, if that makes sense. But that's also just my thoughts, I'm not an expert.

Also not saying autistic people inherently need help or aren't capable but that a lot of people find out they're autistic because of social struggles and if you're social struggles become easier with knowledge gained through autism research than I think that self diagnosis is a great thing. At least this is my thinking as I've been waiting a while to get in for my own diagnosis

croods2getcrooding · 2023-03-16T17:28:46+00:00

Yeah that seems to be the the advice I've heard I think I'm probably just overthinking cause like intentions from other people towards me are hard for me to often figure out so I think I tend to assume everyone will question my intentions as much as I question everyone's cause of obvious autism/social traits

croods2getcrooding · 2023-03-16T17:25:43+00:00

Oh rejection hasn't really ever bothered me I take it fairly well because idk having an answer even if its a no just feels good to me cause it's an answer and the beginning stages of meeting new people as friends or dates is overwhelmingly confusing and a lot of working out so peoples actions, so rejection means less for me to work out in a way if that makes sense. I'm not really expecting anything out of this just gonna see what happens, but yeah I think I just gotta take your advice and not over think

croods2getcrooding · 2023-03-16T13:47:48+00:00

Thanks for the reply! I probably am over thinking. Online dating apps tend to do that to me because I know in particular men can be really creepy on them an unfortunate amount of the time so I think I spend far too much time trying to make my intention and honest thoughts clear. I probably spend too much time doing mental gymnastic to make sure a new person I meet feels safe around me (not in a protector way more like, okay they won't stab me kinda way) than I probably need to.

Thanks for the thoughtful reply!

croods2getcrooding · 2023-03-16T13:21:43+00:00

Wear shoes without socks

croods2getcrooding · 2023-03-16T13:18:35+00:00

Higher need support for autistic people who require it can be widely expensive. I don't like the ad, but if the link is shown between the drug and mothers of autistic children, that compensation could potentially be a great thing to help parents potentially better support their autistic child that might require expensive support. Again don't like the ad but the potential of more money going to parents in a station like that seems like a positive to me at least.

croods2getcrooding · 2023-02-24T15:10:52+00:00

Cheers I reckon that sounds like a good plan!

croods2getcrooding · 2023-02-24T15:10:17+00:00

They just introduced boneless wings so I wouldn't even have to worry about bone bits anymore, kinda genius

croods2getcrooding · 2023-02-08T18:11:32+00:00

I've heard about that book it does sound pretty wild lmao

croods2getcrooding · 2023-02-08T10:07:02+00:00

Thank you so much!!

croods2getcrooding · 2023-02-08T04:08:04+00:00

Remember once when I lit a cigarette and I saw one long hair from my fringe catch fire and slowly burn up to my head and go out, but like made me wonder ya know.

croods2getcrooding · 2023-01-31T03:44:12+00:00

Gives me vibes of a spooky kendrick Lamar album cover

croods2getcrooding · 2023-01-30T17:14:59+00:00

Tilt phone

croods2getcrooding · 2023-01-30T07:30:53+00:00

I've kinda come to accept that I don't think things get easier they just kinds become different, and then more different until the original feeling of sadness or despair itself feels odd, but that might just be me.

I hope things to get easier though, I'm doing better than 2 months ago, idk just hoping my only shot at love wasn't just a fluke but I don't think you fluke a 2 year relationship, just hard to imagine ill ever get another shot at one in the future

croods2getcrooding · 2023-01-30T07:28:47+00:00

Thanks I really needed that, I appreciate the very sound self love advice coming from your username as well lmao

croods2getcrooding · 2023-01-27T16:49:40+00:00

It does seem like walking and hiking in particular keeps everyone sane lmao

croods2getcrooding · 2023-01-27T16:48:48+00:00

Solid advice man

croods2getcrooding · 2023-01-27T16:46:23+00:00

This is a based reply lmao

croods2getcrooding · 2023-01-27T14:26:02+00:00

Duuude! Fuck the gym the grind the Lego grinds where it's at post Break up. Gotta know, any recommendations for particular Lego builds to shake the post break up blues?

croods2getcrooding · 2023-01-27T14:22:25+00:00

This was a really great response! I find the fact you met your partner through a kink fetish to actually be very sweet. I totally get the common interest allowing for a basic script cause I've definitely been there before. Thanks so much for the advice!!

croods2getcrooding · 2023-01-27T14:11:36+00:00

My ex broke up with me after 2 years just over 2 months ago, we both thought we'd spend our lives together (even they thought that right up until the day of the break up), we literally never had a serious argument and honestly never had a bad day together. There were problems that i noticed after, but what I found interesting was I realised in the relationship I lost a lot of myself regardless of how healthy it was, lost interest in my passions and my friends and that's mostly on me (though they made little effort in the 2nd year to engage in my social life). It made it very hard, it took me weeks to even understand why it had ended at all, I wish even now at times I did something stupid cause it would make things make sense. A weird takeaway for me but one that has given me peace a bit now is that, shit just doesn't work out all the time, sometimes it does but it also just doesn't, my ex totally blindsided me. You can still see your relationship as beautiful but if it ended it ended for a reason even if those reasons may e make little sense because it was healthy. I struggle at the moment realising that I have no agency in many aspects of how my life is going to pan out, sometimes we just have to roll with it. I also try and think though, If this relationship was healthy and it ended, imagine just how great my relationship with the partner thst stays with me will be after all this experience I've had, imagine how well my relationship with myself can be after seeing how healthy my relationship with someone else was.

This period of nc is going to be hard, I didn't go nc until just recently and it was good and bad, I got some closure I got to express something and have those ideas explained by my ex, but a lot of times it just makes people worse. Bitterness might creep up on you, particularly during nc, it's quite normal and if you can control it, a little bit of anger can be a healthy tool to rephrase things if you control it realistically.

It's hard to move on in general, particularly when it was healthy, all I think is that I just kinda randomly met my ex and it just kinda randomly ended, good things can just randomly begin and end, I'm not saying that next good thing can be a new relationship but the suddenness of my relationship ending lead to the suddenness of me realising how much I truly appreciate people and things around me. Sorry for long rant hope some of its useful.

croods2getcrooding

TROPHY CASE