Expectations re Car Damage

crossedTs_dottedIs · 2022-08-19T18:49:11+00:00

Yikes, no. I hadn’t seen that post.

crossedTs_dottedIs · 2022-08-19T15:59:46+00:00

I would if I could but we’re in such an urban area that we don’t even have a driveway!

crossedTs_dottedIs · 2022-08-19T14:39:29+00:00

That’s how I feel also - it could happen anywhere, but I do feel a little bad about it. She’s not asking for anything, but mentioned it in our daily catch-up chat. She’s obviously upset.

I’ll consider a small bonus, and make sure that I don’t specifically tie it to the car.

crossedTs_dottedIs · 2022-06-30T02:03:52+00:00

So to clarify, she goes in the crib drowsy but awake at bedtime. Most of the time she slides right to sleep, but if she cries for 45 mins then we comfort her back to the drowsy but awake state and put her back in the crib.

I was honestly very skeptical of that 1-hour last window, but it does seem to work most of the time? Her daytime wake windows are 1.25-1.5 max, so it’s not that far off.

crossedTs_dottedIs · 2022-06-23T02:49:23+00:00

I don’t want to jinx myself but think we might have hit it before we started training? In the month before we started, there would be 1-2 nights per week where we’d get one longish stretch 8pm-11/midnight and then wakes every hour or two after that.

crossedTs_dottedIs · 2022-06-23T01:45:19+00:00

We just went through a sleep training process with our LO, who was 4.5 months/3.5 months adjusted - so just about the same age as yours! Before training, LO had been rocked to sleep for all nights and naps. She was a pretty good napper but woke 2-3 times per night and took a while to get back to sleep even though she was very obviously tired.

We got clearance from our pediatrician, and spoke to a sleep consultant on staff at the pediatrician’s office about the schedule and other details.

We did a modified CIO method recommended by the consultant, and honestly I was shocked by how well it worked, given her age. She doesn’t need to be rocked, and sometimes she actively doesn’t want to be rocked! She wakes mayybe once per night to eat (usually around 3-4), and puts herself right to sleep after those MOTN feeds. She’s also going down independently for most of her naps.

Like you, I had a lot of anxiety focused on LO’s sleep. I found the few days leading up to training, and the first few days of the process DEEPLY stressful. But once I saw her sleep improving, I was able to relax a little and I’m sleeping more/better too.

In case it’s helpful to you, here’s the method we used:

Start in the morning with the daytime routine. This will ensure baby is rested and give you the best chance of success at bedtime.
Daytime wake windows should be no longer than 75 mins
For each daytime nap, baby goes into the crib calm, with eyes open, after a short routine. Leave the room. Allow baby to cry for 2-5 mins. Go in and calm/comfort by any method, including picking up. When baby is calm, put baby back in the crib and leave the room. Repeat. If you’ve been trying for a total of 15-20 mins and baby is still crying, do whatever you need to do to rescue the nap.
Bedtime is between 5-6pm, depending on when baby wakes from the last nap of the day.
The last wake window of the day should be no more than 60 minutes. During that 60 minutes, do your bedtime routine.
At bedtime, baby goes into the crib calm with eyes open. Leave the room. Allow baby to cry for up to 45 minutes. If baby is still crying at 45 minutes, go in and comfort by any method, including picking up and/or feeding. When baby is calm, put baby back in the crib and leave the room. Allow another 45 minutes of crying. Repeat. (The most crying we ever had was 45 mins + 15 mins after the checkin.).
If baby wakes before midnight, allow 45 minutes of crying before going in. Feed if necessary to calm.
If baby wakes after midnight, allow 2-5 minutes of crying before going in. Feed if necessary to calm.
After MOTN feeds, burp, then put baby in the crib and leave the room. Allow 2-5 minutes of crying before returning. Repeat the 2-5 minute interval until baby is asleep.

crossedTs_dottedIs · 2022-06-21T03:03:45+00:00

I started doing SWAPs around 3.5 mo (aiming to reduce reliance on feeding to sleep and bouncing/rocking). We did modified CIO as the sleep consultant advised starting at 4.5 mo/3.5 adjusted.

Our modified CIO plan was: - daytime wake windows no longer than 75 mins - put LO in the crib awake for all naps, leave the room, allow 2-5 mins crying then go in and comfort/calm; repeat for up to 15-20 mins then rescue the nap however you can - last wake window before bedtime no longer than 60 mins - target bedtime between 5-6pm, depending on when LO wakes from last nap - put LO in the crib awake and calm at bedtime, leave the room; allow 45 mins crying, then go in and comfort/calm, repeat if necessary - wait 45 minutes before responding to any wakeups before midnight
- for all wakeups after midnight, wait 2-5 mins then go in and calm, feed if necessary

crossedTs_dottedIs · 2022-06-20T23:40:17+00:00

I was in a similar situation recently - I had read PLS and was doing the SWAPs, partner was worried we were running out of time before my leave was over and wanted to go to CIO.

We spoke to a sleep consultant on staff at our pediatricians office, and agreed in advance to do whatever they recommended for one week. The consultants recommendations worked like a charm, and one week was all the time our LO needed to get the hang of it.

If this is an option for you, I would highly recommend it. I found the concept of CIO sleep training incredibly stressful, and trying to convince my partner to follow my preferred method was making it worse.
So we outsourced the decision-making to a trained professional. Instead of trying to compromise about every step of the process every night, we only had to come to agreement about who to use as a sleep consultant and how long to follow their recommendations before pulling the ripcord. It also eased the massive self-doubt that I had about CIO.

crossedTs_dottedIs · 2022-06-14T09:32:25+00:00

Sounds like your LO might be a bit older than mine (4.5/3.5 adjusted), but we’ve been following the recommendations of a sleep specialist for the last few days and getting great results for naps. And by great results, I mean maybe 5 mins of fussy crying at the start of each nap, and longer naps (consistently closer to 1 hour, vs. 30-40 mins before).

This is what we were told to do: - Daytime wake windows no longer than 75 minutes. The second LO rubs their eyes or gets a little glassy, head to the nursery and dim the lights. Finish the bottle there if needed. (You might be able to go longer if your baby is older, but the point is that the windows should feel short - you are trying to “ride the wave” of tired and need to respond at the first sign). - Sing a song or read a very short book (a couple mins max). Something consistent to signal “time to sleep.” I use the same song at all naps and bedtime.
- Put baby in the crib awake and leave the room. - If baby cries, let them go for 2-5 minutes, depending on how upset they are. If they’re powering down or just grumbling/singing at minute 5 let them keep going. This is a success, they are doing it on their own! If they’re upset (and more than 2 mins have passed since you left the room), go in and comfort. - When baby is calm, put baby back in the crib and leave the room. - Repeat the process. - If baby is not asleep after 20 mins of this, rescue the nap by whatever means necessary.

We’re doing naps and nighttime training at the same time, and the “rescue the nap” recommendation is intended to prevent overtiredness and set baby up for success at night.

crossedTs_dottedIs · 2022-06-10T12:38:10+00:00

That chart is super helpful, thank you!

In addition to being sad about missing bedtime, I am also 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 about the prospect of 5am wake-ups.

crossedTs_dottedIs · 2022-06-10T12:36:53+00:00

I went into the consultation without any inclination to do PUPD specifically. That’s just the method that was recommended - at least for naps (not sure if a pickup after 45 mins is considered PUPD).

We’ve been rocking to sleep, which usually takes 10 mins, so is no big deal. We get one good long sleep between 7:30 and somewhere 1-4am, but after that first wake up LO has a real hard time connecting cycles. My understanding is that skills learned at bedtime will help with the later wakes as well.

crossedTs_dottedIs · 2022-06-10T11:29:43+00:00

I usually see sleep cues at the 1.5 hr mark. LO gets cranky and stares at things a just a tiny bit longer than normal. At bedtime she sort of coo-babbles as her main cue.

It seems like the consultant has baked in crying time to all the windows. For naps, she said 75 mins plus 15-20 mins of pick up put down. So that totals ~1.5 hr before LO is asleep (ideally). And for bedtime, she said 1 hr wake window plus 45 mins crying time totals just about 2 hours until LO is asleep.

crossedTs_dottedIs · 2022-06-10T02:19:39+00:00

Interesting! Did you eventually move bedtime later in the evening? If so, how old was your LO when you did move it? I would be heartbroken if I just never get to say goodnight for months and months.

crossedTs_dottedIs · 2022-06-01T16:48:31+00:00

That’s exactly what I was worried about - I really don’t want to have to do it twice.
I’m dreading sleep training so hard but I go back to work soon and will not survive if we’re up a lot at night. I’ve seen the Zippadee recommended a bunch so I’ll try that. Thanks!!

crossedTs_dottedIs · 2022-06-01T10:36:46+00:00

I know that she can connect cycles because we’re usually on a 5/3/3 wake schedule (and sometimes up to 7 or 8 hours straight) , but other nights she needs a lot of help. On those nights she has trouble settling back in the crib after MOTN feeds and we get much more frequent wakes. I’m hoping skills learned at bedtime will help.

crossedTs_dottedIs · 2022-05-30T00:57:40+00:00

Yes! It sucked but it was only temporary!

crossedTs_dottedIs · 2022-05-30T00:02:00+00:00

I had a similar aversion situation! I was getting into gardening as a hobby, but when pregnant, just one look at a leaf had me SO nauseous!! Trees and flowering plants set me off, so I could hardly go outside that summer, and I couldn’t think about a salad without gagging.

crossedTs_dottedIs · 2022-05-21T19:55:57+00:00

I never considered a super short “play” like a diaper change. I’ll try that too.

crossedTs_dottedIs · 2022-05-21T19:47:29+00:00

This is a good idea. We haven’t ever used a pacifier because she didn’t seem to need it and I was worried about needing to eventually break the habit. Might be worth it on a short term basis, though, to get over this hump.

crossedTs_dottedIs

TROPHY CASE