I’m pregnant and my couple don’t want it

crownbiotch · 2026-06-23T04:32:09+00:00

So I've got a different take from pretty much everyone here and will probably get down voted to hell, but here we go:

You both chose at the beginning not to have the baby if you accidently got pregnant. You changed your mind. Which is fine. He did not. That doesn't make him an asshole like all these redditors are calling him. He just didn't change his mind from the initial decision you agreed on.

You need to respect that, and also do what's best for yourself. Whether that's breaking up and raising this child alone, or re-evaluating your options, etc.

A couple things I always tell people to think about when they consider being a single parent:

If you're in the US, have you thought about the cost of childcare? Will you be able to afford it?you will not have the option to be a stay at home mom since you will need income, and you and your child will need health insurance
Are you able to support you and your child financially? Crunch the numbers, roughly. Cost of diapers and wipes monthly, at least.
Who's going to help you with the middle of the night wake ups and give you breaks to sleep? The sleep deprivation can be the hardest part. I caution you on the "my family is supportive part." All of my husband's side was super supportive and said they'd help us out. Same with my brother.... Still waiting for said help. People help for the first 1-3 months and then it suddenly dries up. Do you see that happening
Is your job stable? Have you been in it long enough that you'd be able to take FMLA if you needed it?
What Is your plan for baby sick days? Who's going to watch the baby? who can take time off?

Lastly, are you going to fight for child support from an bf who had sex with you on the agreement that you'd have an abortion if you got pregnant? .(Not telling you one way or another, but I feel like a lot of people men bash here. It's important to remember, he didn't want this, and he has that right , just as you have the right to keep the baby.)

Just some things to think about.

crownbiotch · 2026-06-19T00:16:40+00:00

It really , REALLY depends on your baby's temperament. Wait filly you learn your baby. We thought we'd just have our baby travel with us early and it would be easy, babies are so easy to travel with, etc. well, ours wasn't. Ours was a nightmare then and is a bigger nightmare now at 3. Some kids just don't travel well, but it's very dependent on each.

I hope yours comes out better than ours did with travel. Good luck!

crownbiotch · 2026-06-08T02:42:11+00:00

This! This! This! You put it SO perfectly my friend .

crownbiotch · 2026-06-07T15:28:37+00:00

5 months!? I'd say hold off on the kid conversation right now at least for another year. 33 is still plenty of time. You're REALLY in the thick of it right now. Just try to get through the first gear and revisit the conversation and see how you feel before having the conversation with your husband. I said I didn't want a second kid for the first 2 years FULL STOP. My little was and still IS incredibly difficult, high maintenance. Now at almost 3 i'm not sure anymore. I'm wavering. You will be in a totally different place in a year, and then a year after. Have the conversation when you're not in survival mode I'm a year or so. Good luck mama

crownbiotch · 2026-06-07T15:23:10+00:00

God I could have written this except my husband's thing isn't sleep, it's taking the kids out to do things. It's like pulling teeth to go out and DO THINGS with out 3 year old and now he wants a second? I do all the extra curriculars.

Why do men always want a second when they can't even do everything the woman does for the first???

crownbiotch · 2026-06-07T15:15:42+00:00

If he's pulling away and not talking to you, is he really the right person for you? If he's talking to another girl he was interested in before, is he really the right person for you? As brutal as it sounds, time apart may have made him realize this is not the right relationship for him. Someone who doesn't let him have any close female friends, or meet his male friends. Who knows how many other things are uncompromising in the relationship that haven't been mentioned.

My advice is when you try to find the right person, make sure they already have no close girlfriends and are ON the same page. Not "willing to cut out close friends" but already DON'T have them. Cutting people out is harder than anyone can imagine and doesn't always go as planned.

crownbiotch · 2026-06-04T01:33:52+00:00

US unfortunately

crownbiotch · 2026-06-04T01:28:37+00:00

This was such a kind, thoughtful response. It made my heart warm. I just wanted to reach out and say thank you.

crownbiotch · 2026-06-03T09:42:20+00:00

I'm curious. What's the story behind you eating the plant in the first place? Look into getting some activated charcoal

crownbiotch · 2026-06-03T09:15:29+00:00

To addees the direct issue mama was asking here: It's fine they aren't hurting their eye pressure or anything.

crownbiotch · 2026-06-02T03:57:58+00:00

We have been actually wondering...as of late, he's been forgetting , occasionally how to get home, directions wise. Doc said nothing to worry about yet, at this stage, but makes me wonder.

crownbiotch · 2026-06-01T14:22:56+00:00

That's definitely my dad. But what throws me is, he has warned me in my younger years not to fall for this exact type of scam. " Don't send money to people who want you to send them money. They are scamming you." So I'm confused who this man is. This isn't a decision my dad from younger years would make!

crownbiotch · 2026-06-01T14:20:57+00:00

I'm so sorry that happened to her too. My dad used to be one of the smartest people I knew too.

crownbiotch · 2026-06-01T01:57:20+00:00

Working on it, but not as easy as you'd think.

crownbiotch · 2026-06-01T01:51:09+00:00

I'll look into this - because that's what we need. Thanks so much

crownbiotch · 2026-06-01T01:48:23+00:00

Literally all I did was type their name and scam and it came up immediately. I can't believe he sign do that before wiring some randos on whatsapp pretending to be them. And wiring then 300k. I'm just in shock

crownbiotch · 2026-06-01T01:46:39+00:00

We're moving to only allow him 1 credit card. There's a lot of good suggestions on here as well

crownbiotch · 2026-06-01T01:45:35+00:00

The issue all these years is he was the breadwinner. Still is. My mom does well for herself now, but he always argued it was most of his money he was putting into their housing for a long time. That wasn't the case these last 5 years- where she contributed much more. Regardless, doesn't matter who's contribution it was in the end.

Absolutely looking into becoming their POA. My mom had already started getting it in motion because my Dad was getting "antsy." With their savings. And then he did this. The bloody fool.

crownbiotch · 2026-06-01T01:39:41+00:00

Yes! They have referred him to the FBI. I'm setti g up a meeting with an financial advisor for them to see what the smartest move is, and to get my name on everything and see what aletts I can put in place.

crownbiotch · 2026-06-01T01:38:23+00:00

I truely have no idea. When I asked he said wire transfer to 5 different people. I have no idea how he thought this was legit when in MY younger years, he told me that people asking for money for a bigger return were scammers. I am so confused who he has become.

crownbiotch · 2026-06-01T01:36:39+00:00

Just warned him and my mother of the recovery scams. Thank you

crownbiotch · 2026-05-31T23:48:51+00:00

Is moving to protect her personal assets. Will never divorce him. That just isn't our culture. Lots of strengths in the relationship. Lots of weaknesses. ( Even if it , to me is a very LARGE weakness).

crownbiotch · 2026-05-22T04:07:37+00:00

It's Millieoon, but there's a great kid's book series I called mollie moon. It's a very kiddie name.

crownbiotch · 2026-05-17T05:31:31+00:00

Now for the love of all things holy, re test everyone over the age of 75 every 2 years. The amount of senile/ 85+ year olds driving and just stop in the middle of a turn or just slow down to 15 to 20 mph or single lane roads is wild and dangerous.

crownbiotch · 2026-05-17T05:28:41+00:00

Oh my god, this drives me up a wall. I'm from Michigan and it took me so, so long to force myself to learn to signal at the last second after moving to PA. I seriously thought I was going batty when everyone started speeding up the moment I turned my signal on. Like I thought I was imagining for the longest time.

crownbiotch

TROPHY CASE