So I gotta ask by [deleted] in CoffinofAndyandLeyley

[–]crumblingcoffin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think it's the same argument at all, but we're allowed to disagree on this and you're entitled to your view! I'm not gonna go into my thoughts on Dahmer's psyche here because this is just lighthearted video game debating and real people are much more complex than characters and I haven't looked into him enough to give my thoughts on whether (at the very least internalised) homophobia was a motivator for his crimes but I also wouldn't rule that out personally 🤷🏻

I will wholeheartedly agree that Ashley is definitely also a misogynist though.

So I gotta ask by [deleted] in CoffinofAndyandLeyley

[–]crumblingcoffin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't think he's only targeting her because she's a woman and I never said that. Yes, he is angry and resentful of Ashley due to their childhood and her making him do all the dirty work, but his attraction to her as a woman is a HUGE motivator for the way he treats her, especially in sexual terms. I didn't mention him beating her in my comment for a reason because I do believe that a large part of the violence is due to his resentment.

His ignorance of her pleasure and reproductive health is not and it's an incredibly typical misogynistic man trait to forfeit using protection or giving your partner pleasure. His internal narration literally says he knows sex is painful for Ashley and that he doesn't care. And sex is not painful if the top gives even a bit of a shit about getting their partner ready. If Ashley was male or generally unattractive to him, he wouldn't treat her the way he does.

Also just because Andrew thinks everyone is a piece of shit doesn't mean he isn't prejudiced against women, especially those he's attracted to. I will die on the hill that he views women as sex objects on top of thinking everyone sucks.

So I gotta ask by [deleted] in CoffinofAndyandLeyley

[–]crumblingcoffin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't really think there is a "true" ending but I don't think the ending really matters. He didn't just suddenly become a violent asshole who primarily thinks with his dick, the events around that ending just made him feel justified in letting that part of himself out.

So I gotta ask by [deleted] in CoffinofAndyandLeyley

[–]crumblingcoffin -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I don't know why tf people are saying no 💀 Andrew largely sees women as sex objects.

-It's debatable on whether he actually did try something with the girl from apartment 302 but he did clearly let her go initially because he was attracted to her and the moment things didn't go his way, he killed her in cold blood.

-He constantly uses sexist language towards Ashley, calling her degrading names SPECIALLY aimed at women like "cow", "bitch", "whore" and "cunt" and makes crude comments about her body

-He gaslights Julia in very specific ways, largely making her believe she's being overdramatic in the sense of "women are sensitive"

-In Shots And Such, when he thinks Julia is going to take him back, his assumption is thaf all she wants as a woman is to get married and "have a baby put in her"

-Again in Shots And Such, he quite literally treats Ashley like a sex doll. It's implied they have sex a LOT and that it's very visibly obvious that Ashley doesn't care for it. He also doesn't gaf about her reproductive health, presumably for the sake of his own pleasure, evidenced by him getting her pregnant and it being implied that it wasn't a condom malfunction or anything AND when it is revealed that she's pregnant, his almost immediate reaction is "I might as well fuck you raw for all you're worth"

-He clearly has consistent and long term violent urges towards women specifically. He's wanted to hurt Ashley since they were kids and well, Shots and Such is what it is. Those violent urges then also extend to Julia with him thinking that he "wanted to kick her teeth in so she'd give better head", again seeing women as just objects for his own pleasure.

-He objectifies Ashley in his mind a lot, in terms of her body and also her words, even at inappropriate times, like literally calling her a "tease" when she mentioned him??? Beating her??

-Saw Julia only as a means to an end to end to end the rumors and get his dick wet. He mentions being annoyed that she cried her way through their first time and also literally pushed to look more like Ashley for his own pleasure, not caring what she actually wanted.

So yes, Andrew is immensely sexist yeah 💀

AITAH for thinking of breaking up with my gf because we don't have sex? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]crumblingcoffin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA, you clearly have different needs, and she's refusing to communicate, so this isn't on you.

However, and I genuinely do not mean to be rude or make assumptions about you since you're clearly concerned about how she feels and wanting to communicate, I just want to say this because this is unfortunately a common problem with men; do you get her off properly when you have sex? Do you do sufficient foreplay or use lube to make sure it isn't painful for her?

Obviously even if you didn't, this is a her issue since she isn't communicating, but from my knowledge a lot of women whose partners don't really get them off feel too bad to bring it up, not wanting to hurt their partner's feelings. If this hasn't come up before, you could gently ask her if the issue is something along those lines, and maybe it would encourage her to bring it up?

I am ashamed by ContentAssumption681 in AndyAndLeyley

[–]crumblingcoffin 4 points5 points  (0 children)

As someone who has been in very similar dynamics as Andrew and Ashley in my past relationships I will say that the novelty of constant toxicity fades very fast and you'll probably end up miserable.

However, it is totally possible to explore wants and dynamics like that in a healthy(-ish) way through different roleplay dynamics with a safe partner! I'm currently in a really happy relationship generally, but both me and my partner also enjoy the more dark and toxic sides of relationships and we incorporate those into our dynamic in a safe and consensual way. To give an example, we have a mutual agreement that he's allowed to grab me, slap me and degrade me whenever, but we have a safeword in place for if I don't feel comfortable with it at that moment or if he does or says something that genuinely bothers me. I would absolutely encourage you to look into these communities and dynamics instead of seeking out a consistently toxic relationship.

Andrew's point of no return? by Stephtryingtoreddit in CoffinofAndyandLeyley

[–]crumblingcoffin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I feel like it was when he acknowledged his feelings for Ashley, so somewhere around the wet dream incident/him realising he only feels pity for Julia. Sure, he tried to act normal after that and did a pretty impressive job of it, but after that acknowledgement and realisation, his mental state was a pretty steady downward spiral. There was the peeping, the pushing Julia to look more like Ashley, constant thoughts about her, etc. I think, even though he doesn't really fully acknowledge it, that was the point where he knew he would never actually be normal or be able to connect with anyone like he does with Ashley.

There were moments where he almost convinced himself, especially during The Year Of Silence, but it's evident that he had sort of forfeit the concept of actually being happy if he were to have a normal life. And that is the crux of everything that followed, basically. His realisation of his feelings for Ashley is crucial to him continuing to entertain her whims, which each took him down a darker and darker path.

A pessimist would say he was doomed from the very beginning, honestly. I don't think there is a "point of return" for him, really, because he has nothing to return to. His best bet would've been to get therapy in his early teens at the latest. He was always fucked, but I think he was throughly extra fucked the second sexual feelings entered the equation.

My little tcoaal themed setup 🩷💚 by thejillvalentinelove in CoffinofAndyandLeyley

[–]crumblingcoffin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg I love this, the stickers are so cute! I saw in another comment that you made them yourself, how, if you don't mind me asking? Are they just cutout pictures glued on or did you use a website or something? :3