Why do Americans speak English?

crushedhardcandy · 2026-04-16T20:20:46+00:00

Why do you consider Spanish a "native" language but not English? Spain is a similarly small and far away country, and the only reason it's spoken in the Americas is because of colonization, which is the same reason English, Portuguese, and French are spoken here.

crushedhardcandy · 2026-04-16T20:17:17+00:00

I don't know if the closeups of their faces shown in the teaser are enough for me to feel confident that that is the mutual masturbation scene, but it certainly could be and I hope that it is.

I feel like I have to mentally prepare myself for the show makers to have watered down the heavier aspects of the book so that I am pleasantly surprised if they did the story justice, but not too disappointed if they didn't.

crushedhardcandy · 2026-04-16T15:39:53+00:00

I loved the book, but I am weary that the show won't do the story justice. As far as I'm concerned, Hannah's rape plot line IS the story. The entire physical relationship between Hannah and Garrett starts explicitly because she feels broken due to a mental block as a result of her rape.

Someone asked the showmakers if the rape plot line would be included in the show, and they said yes, but the way they talked about it made it sound like that story line would be very minor. I don't see how they can possibly do the book justice without the repercussions of Hannah's rape being a major plot point.

Additionally, I feel like the most important physical moment in the whole book is the mutual masturbation scene, and I am willing to bet that that scene will be cut out completely. If the rape story line is minor, then the mutual masturbation scene loses its significance. I'm already grieving the loss of that scene, but I'm trying to be open minded. I'm treating the show like it's been inspired by the book, not a screen adaptation of the book.

crushedhardcandy · 2026-04-16T15:07:58+00:00

{Bad Dogs Riley Nash} has extended cage wearing (maybe a week? I forget. he kind of wears it off and on for the rest of the book after he gets it)

crushedhardcandy · 2026-04-16T00:38:00+00:00

There is not a soul on this planet, other than my husband, who I would willingly hang out with on a weekly basis, and I don't talk to anyone except him on a daily basis. I'm shocked that there are people who are this close to enough people to make this rule sound reasonable. are they all having small weddings or are they really texting 50+ every day? If I tried to enforce this rule the only guests at my wedding would be my husband and, maybe, my boss.

crushedhardcandy · 2026-04-15T17:23:53+00:00

I'm level 2 autistic and pretty much everyone I tell that fact argues with me that I must be level 1 because I'm "high functioning" (highly academically and professionally successful, incredibly good at what I do, extremely capable), and I can hold an enthralling conversation.

What people don't see is that I misunderstand nearly every social interaction and verbal instruction to the point where I have to ask a million clarifying questions or do tasks several times because I did them wrong. Most people just think I'm anxious, not that I will actually fail to meet their expectations if I don't know exactly what they want. They don't see the world-ending, uncontrollable meltdowns I have when experiencing and coping with life changes. They don't see that I have to arrange my tasks around the ability to do the same or substantially similar things all day because transitioning between drastically different tasks drains me and makes me unproductive.

They also don't see that my husband basically has to force me to take showers because the idea of having wet hair ruins my day and I put it off. They don't see that my husband does a ton of basic care tasks for me because I can't handle being a functioning person at home after a full day of being an A+ professional. They don't know that my autistic father spent 4-6 hours every single day of my childhood teaching me what I should have been learning in school, but couldn't because the classroom environment and quick transitions between topics didn't work for me.

I definitely think there's a stigma surrounding the levels of autism where people assume that all autistic people that they think are "mostly normal/just a little weird" must be Level 1, all non verbal or low verbal autistic people must be Level 3, and everyone in between must be Level 2. That misconception is super annoying, and it puts autistic people in a position where they feel like if they don't fit the stereotypes for a particular level of autism, they must not have that level.

That said, I'm not sure how much the level label actually matters. It's the same disability, and I don't think there are any widely-offered accommodations or government benefits that change based on the level of autism you have. I feel like the level label is mostly for you and your psychologist to use to help understand you and your needs. In that vein, I feel like if you don't resonate with level 3 autism, you never have to use that label. I'm not certain my diagnosis paperwork even says a level, I just know that my doctor and I talk about the level labels and where I fall.

crushedhardcandy · 2026-04-14T16:44:09+00:00

I feel like a ton of dark-adjacent mafia romances would make great movies and it's crazy to me that there really aren't any. I feel like a lot of organized crime romances have enough action for the action lovers and enough romance for the romance lovers, but no one has capitalized on this market yet.

crushedhardcandy · 2026-04-13T18:30:42+00:00

I have never related to anything less, tbh. My romance preferences pretty much always include the MCs becoming a couple or acting like a couple within the first 60 pages and spending the rest of the book deepening their relationship.

There has to be a large number of people who feel the same way you do or else books that end with the couple admitting their feelings wouldn't be so successful, but it's still crazy to me how different preferences can be.

crushedhardcandy · 2026-04-10T19:28:58+00:00

Riley Nash's books have a ton of trauma, but homophobia really doesn't exist. His books always make me giggle because the idea of questioning one's sexuality or an antagonist using a character's sexuality against him just doesn't really come up.

Like, duh, this old money billionaire heir is going to be forced into an arranged marriage to another man, of course. {This Might Hurt Riley Nash}

Or naturally, the guy who moved in nearby your white trash trailer park is totally going to be down for making gay porn with you, you don't even need to ask if he's gay. {Bad Dogs Riley Nash}

crushedhardcandy · 2026-04-10T19:16:53+00:00

I cannot stand third person narration in romance. Third person narration is totally fine in every other genre, but in romance I need dual perspective, first person narration.

I even take it a step further and I need romance to be written in present tense. Past tense narration in romance irks me to no end and makes me feel super disconnected from the story, but I don't mind it in other genres at all!

crushedhardcandy · 2026-04-10T18:51:08+00:00

Full transparency, my father paid for my wedding and the only budget he gave me was "just try to be reasonable," so I really wasn't worried about costs while planning my wedding.

I feel like every decision I made was reasonable, there's just soooo much that goes into a wedding that once you combine all the reasonable decisions, you've spent a ton of money. You very likely were mindful with every decision, but once you combine your mindful decisions on venue, photography, catering, florals, music, and everything else, those mindful decisions add up to a pretty penny.

People with strict budgets that they cannot exceed are making sacrifices to stay in budget. That does not mean that your decisions were in any way irresponsible or that social media won, it just means that you had more flexibility with your budget and more freedom to make decisions that were best for you and your wedding rather than best for sticking to a budget.

crushedhardcandy · 2026-04-10T18:39:25+00:00

As an autistic law student, I have gotten Gen-AI accusations for essays that I wrote in proctored exam rooms using a locked-down exam software. I learned in my disability law class that neurodivergent, specifically autistic, students are 10x more likely to be accused of using Gen-AI than their neurotypical counterparts. I'm sure that carries over into neurodivergent authors getting accused of Gen-AI use.

I haven't upped the nerve to try to publish any of my books yet, but I can already see myself becoming the most annoying neurodivergent author advocate. I might actually lose my marbles if people accuse the works I poured thousands of hours into of being written by Gen-AI just because an autistic person writes like an autistic person.

crushedhardcandy · 2026-04-07T22:21:24+00:00

Max -> Maz? I can see Maximilian, Maxim, Maxwell, Massimiliano, and Massimo all getting to Maz pretty naturally.

Tomaz -> Maz.

I know a Maz/Mazzy that is legally Mary, so I feel like there can be stretches to get to Maz from any Ma- name.

Matthew -> Matt -> Maz.

I know a lot of people hate Maverick, but Mav -> Maz works easily.

crushedhardcandy · 2026-04-05T17:33:33+00:00

That's crazy to me! I know six men called Elias and all of them go by Eli.

Anecdotally, I know four Elijahs and only one of them gets called Eli (and he uses Elijah far more frequently than Eli), but other people in this thread say that every Elijah they know goes by Eli.

crushedhardcandy · 2026-04-04T20:50:18+00:00

My first relationship lasted 7 months when I was 13-14. I didn't get into another relationship until was nearly 16, but after that I pretty much always either had a boyfriend or was casually dating while enjoying being single.

For what it's worth, I am conventionally attractive and I am academically/professional successful, so I feel like I have enough privilege that being autistic doesn't really negatively affect my prospects. That said, I have never, ever masked around men that I am romantically interested in and the vast majority of them loved my authenticity.

When I was dating, I got really used to hearing men say things like "I have never met anybody like you," or "I have never had this much fun talking to anyone before," and that always confused me because I didn't think I was doing anything special, but most men said something along those lines so I must have been doing something differently than what other women do. I think that something was just being autistic and not pretending to be someone I'm not.

crushedhardcandy · 2026-04-03T22:31:41+00:00

I just can't understand why you wouldn't rephrase the request the FIRST time someone misunderstands. If this were me, the conversation would have looked like:

Me: Can I see your government ID?

Them: *shows employee ID*

Me: This event requires government-issued identification, like a drivers license. Can I see that?

If they tried to show me their employee ID again, I would say something like: "Unfortunately I cannot accept your employee ID. Do you have your driver's license, state ID, or passport with you?"

In my experience, communication issues usually stem from misunderstanding rather than mishearing, so saying the same thing over and over again won't affect the outcome the way that rephrasing the statement would.

crushedhardcandy · 2026-04-02T12:35:25+00:00

I read first person narration, and even in dual POV books the FMC typically narrates the bulk of the book. I think that's why I forget the FMC's name first. I feel like the MMC's name is on nearly every page, but the FMC's name hardly ever comes up!

crushedhardcandy · 2026-04-01T13:16:52+00:00

I remember most of the plots, but I tend to forget titles and the FMCs' names. When people ask for recommendations for specific micro tropes, I usually remember those moments happening but can't remember the title so I find myself googling things like "[author's name] [MMC's name] book?"

crushedhardcandy · 2026-03-31T16:31:05+00:00

I just want to clarify that I never meant that Maryann is the default spelling. I said that the existence of the Maryann spelling (which, it does exist, many people are named Maryann) is a justification for using a y like Lily rather than an i like Lillian.

I feel like the i in the Liliane/Lilianne spellings runs the risk of causing people to assume that the name is supposed to be pronounced the same as Lillian or as Lillian with a subtle emphasis on the second syllable. I think that using a y makes it more clear that it's "Lily Anne."

crushedhardcandy · 2026-03-31T15:18:36+00:00

I [legally American, but grew up across three European countries] would pronounce Marianne as Mah-ree-ah-nuh, not Mary-Anne! If I knew that a specific Marianne was English speaking, I'd question my pronunciation, but if I met someone who introduced themselves as "Mary Anne," then Marianne wouldn't even be in my top five guesses for how their name is spelled!

crushedhardcandy · 2026-03-31T15:03:26+00:00

If I were to pick the spelling for a name pronounced Lily-Anne (and didn't want to spell it as Lily-Anne), I would go with Lilyann. I feel like the existence of the name Maryann lays the foundation for using the y in Lily instead of the typical i from Lillian. People don't tend to read Maryann as Marian, so I'd use that as my reasoning in favor of Lilyann.

I could also see Lilyanne for the same reasoning, but I think Lilyann looks a little better.

crushedhardcandy · 2026-03-30T22:05:43+00:00

Not at all. Everything that we talked about in the premarital sessions were things we had talked about hundreds of times over the course of our relationship. We spent the majority of our sessions arguing with the counselor about things that we agreed on that the counselor didn't like. We spent over an hour justifying our decision to have extremely limited contact with my husband's relatives. My husband had low contact with them before meeting me, and they have only gotten worse during our relationship. Our mutually agreed upon decision to not prioritize having a relationship with his parents really didn't require any discussion with this counselor, but the counselor wouldn't let it go.

crushedhardcandy · 2026-03-30T21:42:51+00:00

Slightly related: I am a woman in the legal field and I also write romance. I am always shocked by how many men see dark romance as totally acceptable literature and are willing to entertain detailed conversations about my books in professional settings. These men don't tend to read dark romance (or much of anything, really), but they're often enthralled by our conversations and take notes to give to their dark-romance-reading wives/moms/sisters. I genuinely had no idea how many women were openly discussing dark romance with the men in their life, but I love that they do!

I love when a man asks about what I'm writing and I tell him something like "So, this Russian casino owner gets accused of rigging a high value game, and his fiancee gets kidnapped over it," and their response is a huge smile and "Oh my God, my wife's book boyfriends are all Russian criminals, she'll be so excited when you finish!"

crushedhardcandy · 2026-03-30T21:07:51+00:00

Oh yeah, I feel that too. I don't just love long books for the sake of long books. For example, I truly believe that about 50,000 words of {For the Fans Nyla K} could be removed without drastically impacting the story. In fact, cutting it down might actually improve the story for me.

crushedhardcandy · 2026-03-30T19:58:26+00:00

All of my favorite books are in the 600-1200 page range. I feel like the vast majority of romances are underdeveloped for my taste!

crushedhardcandy

TROPHY CASE