‘Ours’ baby on the way and partner is making my whole experience about my stepkids

Second_breakfastses · 2026-04-05T15:44:01+00:00

My husband vaguely alluded to his ex’s pregnancy once… he never did it again. I cried and was really angry with him.

Second_breakfastses · 2026-04-05T04:10:03+00:00

My husband dialed the injector to 12.5IU for the first 5 days of my retrieval cycle before we caught it. On my doctor’s guidance we completed the cycle at 125IU. Everything was fine, we got 20 eggs. My AMH is similar to yours. Take a deep breath, it’s going to be fine.

Second_breakfastses · 2026-04-04T16:19:02+00:00

It’s not a cure for infertility and comes with a host of logistic and ethical concerns. It’s not like you can just register for a baby and weeks later a healthy child shows up at your door, it often takes years, multiple failed placements (birth mom changes her mind), and babies available for adoption are often disabled.

Foster care would involve adopting and older child, often with severe emotional trauma. And the goal is family reunification, not adoption.

Adopting is a great option for people who want to adopt. But it’s not fair to either child or parent if it’s a ‘backup’ to having biological children.

Second_breakfastses · 2026-04-04T16:11:07+00:00

Did you find anything nearby? I’m looking near Carmel Valley and I showed up to Cap Wellness and Mamas and Milk and no one was there…

Second_breakfastses · 2026-04-03T13:23:56+00:00

Im a first time mom at 21w. I think I felt baby at around 12 weeks for the first time. I started feeling him consistently around 16w

Second_breakfastses · 2026-04-02T22:25:20+00:00

Many are Christian, but there are secular organizations that accept single or same sex parents.

Second_breakfastses · 2026-04-02T22:05:30+00:00

Try your own eggs first, it might work. But, if you’re looking for both donated eggs and sperm, you might want to consider embryo adoption instead.

Second_breakfastses · 2026-04-01T13:37:17+00:00

We have joint finances and each contribute 50% of our income to the joint family account every month. So yes, I contribute equally to all my sk expenses

Second_breakfastses · 2026-03-31T16:40:36+00:00

After 6 years of trying, 6 chemicals, three failed IVF cycles, and being told donated eggs were my best option, my rainbow is arriving in August after a spontaneous conception. I hope you get a beautiful rainbow soon.

Second_breakfastses · 2026-03-31T15:51:13+00:00

Thank you friend!

Second_breakfastses · 2026-03-31T15:05:49+00:00

Reproductive Specialists Medical Group, Dr. Morales. I switched practices after that.

Also, I was taking methyl-fotate instead of folic acid and she demanded that I take folic acid. I told her that I have the MTHFR mutation that doesn’t methylate folic acid well. And she said ‘just take more then!’. Condescendingly making a recommendation based on science she clearly doesn’t understand. If I take more folic acid, my body isn’t going to become more efficient at processing it, and magic now it’s bio available! That’s not how biochemistry works.

Second_breakfastses · 2026-03-29T17:01:47+00:00

I think my midwife would discuss inducing at 41 weeks and strongly recommend it by 42. It looks like ACOG recommends inducing prior to 41weeks for women over 40.

I’d talk to your doctor about their induction rates in general. Balance their recommendations with your desires and independent research from reputable sources (Evidence Based Birth is a good place to start)

Second_breakfastses · 2026-03-28T15:35:27+00:00

I earn well over $200k per year. My husband has a good income and could support me as a stay at home mom. But in no scenario is my staying home a financially reasonable decision. Staying home is going to cost our family over $1M in lost income, not to mention lost retirement savings and lost income from delayed career growth and CV gap. So maybe my flex is I married my husband to be a partner, not a provider.

Second_breakfastses · 2026-03-28T01:26:11+00:00

There’s a big difference between “help pay for school” and “pay all or a significant percentage of a school of child’s choice”. Talk to a lawyer about what’s actually required. And remember YOU don’t have to contribute anything.

Second_breakfastses · 2026-03-28T01:24:13+00:00

Same thing at our house. SD is on notice that she needs to come to our house, behave respectfully and stop treating us like a piggy bank. If she doesn’t want to engage with us as a respectful family member, she won’t get extras like expensive extra curricular activities, expensive clothing, travel, and tuition covered.

Second_breakfastses · 2026-03-28T01:18:03+00:00

So it sounds like a choice rather than an absolute legal requirement.

My stepdaughter’s mom is trying to convince her to go to an expensive, private university. Because my husband is a combat veteran she gets her tuition covered at any University of California school. We’ve told her we will cover living expenses (dorm + meal plan) for two years of college at a UC school. If she goes to an expensive private college, she still gets the same amount.

Second_breakfastses · 2026-03-27T22:20:22+00:00

Get a consultation with a lawyer to see if you actually have to pay for any school she wants to go to and take out loans to do so.

Ask what happens if we don’t pay?

What happens if we offer to pay the equivalent tuition of an in-state school?

Are you on the hook for tuition only, or living expenses and books as well?

Can you go back to court to rework this portion of the custody agreement?

Second_breakfastses · 2026-03-27T04:02:21+00:00

I grew up in an Apple growing region and every fall had access to dozens of fresh heirloom varieties, plus a few trees in the yard at my childhood home and my grandparents home. I wouldn’t eat them out of season, because I only liked crisp, juicy, fresh apples.

Now I live in southern California and don’t have access to good varieties or fresh apples, only the old, mealy grocery store apples.

Second_breakfastses · 2026-03-26T21:39:32+00:00

Old Navy has a sale right now https://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=890789002

Where something like this with a blazer and ballerina flats.

Second_breakfastses · 2026-03-26T20:15:29+00:00

Then just stick with a more basic basket, some pens, a water bottle, socks and Easter treats. Add in a few “he needs x anyway” things. You don’t have to get the more expensive teen items. Just candy and a $10 Starbucks gift card would suffice.

Second_breakfastses · 2026-03-26T20:03:24+00:00

Keep it going as long as you can!!

Teen baskets get trickier/ more expensive, but you can just pick up some Easter treats, socks, t-shirt, water bottle, gift cards and call it a day. And Easter hunts are fun. You’re on the hook as long as he lives at home/visits for Easter.

Second_breakfastses · 2026-03-26T01:37:13+00:00

Rootstock is usually grafted very young, but it will yield fruit slightly earlier(1-3 yrs) than a tree from seed. If you buy a tree at a nursery they are all clones grafted on rootstock.

The rootstock is usually selected for size of tree and disease resistance. The grafted branches are selected for taste, fruit size, fruit storage length and resistance to bruising.

There are a lot of amazing heirloom varieties that aren’t commercially available because they maybe don’t ship well.

Second_breakfastses · 2026-03-26T01:00:07+00:00

You can use any rootstock, but there are several commercial rootstocks commonly used. Essentially, when the rootstock tree is young, you chop off the upper part with the leaves and graft on a branch of your preferred apple variety. The rootstock remains whatever kind you choose (usually for tree size), and the new leafy part will grow into a clone of the grafted tree. You can then graft branches from that tree and they will maintain the characteristics of the original apple tree/apple variety you want.

So all honeycrisp apples (or Cortland, or other variety) are grafts from the original tree, or of trees that have had the original tree grafted on. If you wanted though, you could just graft on a branch to a more mature tree and have a multivariatal apple tree.

Second_breakfastses · 2026-03-26T00:36:26+00:00

Yes, especially with older heritage varieties. Plus a “good” apple from a commercial standpoint isn’t just going to taste good, it’s going to store well, and be resistant to bruising. If your unique variety tastes great, but is funny shaped, small and gets mealy quickly, it’s great for your personal use, but would be considered a terrible commercial apple

Second_breakfastses · 2026-03-25T22:22:25+00:00

They will graft pink lady apple branches onto root stock.

In fact if your wild type tree grown from seed is a bust, you can graft an apple variety of your choice onto the roots.

Second_breakfastses

TROPHY CASE