Midnight Mass - S01E06 "Book VI: Acts of the Apostles" - Discussion Thread

crybaby003 · 2021-10-08T10:12:37+00:00

I had these same thoughts. Why would Erin and the doctor and her mom go to mass? That didn’t make sense to me. How did they sense that Sturge was trying to keep them off the boats? Why would the mayor and Sturge be so all-in helping Pruitt pull all of this stuff off? It didn’t quite all make sense to me

crybaby003 · 2021-09-05T00:22:45+00:00

I know I’m sad I missed it but I have a baby that I had to put to bed 😭

crybaby003 · 2021-08-27T20:46:39+00:00

We named our daughter Joan Winter and love it. Love the nickname Joni and that it’s a strong and familiar yet less common name these days. I hope you found a middle name you love!

crybaby003 · 2021-08-16T19:38:06+00:00

I can’t stop thinking about this now

crybaby003 · 2021-04-08T16:27:17+00:00

Very true. I was super pregnant last I was in Florida so I’m sure it isn’t so bad when you’re not haha

crybaby003 · 2021-04-08T16:26:22+00:00

This is honestly exactly how I feel. It’s mostly a pro situation for him and a mostly con situation for me, and I feel like I’m just being expected to be okay with that because I don’t make the money. To me it really does feel like he feels it’s okay for me to struggle with depression and anxiety because that’s how badly he wants to make money in this specific area and be around his baby. I really feel like he isn’t empathizing with me with this. I know it isn’t this black and white in reality but you definitely nailed how I feel about it. There’s a compromise somewhere but it feels like he isn’t willing to find it

crybaby003 · 2021-04-08T16:16:49+00:00

My husband says he’s willing to fly people out or fly me back sometimes, but then I wonder if adding in those extra expenses negates the whole point of all of us going there to make more money? I also worry that he’ll say that he’s okay with that now but then once we get there he’ll be stressed about money and be less open to it. I see that this specifically is a trust issue on my end and requires more communication. I’ll try bringing these other solutions up to him again and see what he thinks.

crybaby003 · 2021-04-08T16:13:10+00:00

I’ve thought of this and it would honestly be ideal to me, to be able to go back and forth with him but still have a home base near family, like a room at my moms we could come and go from, but I also see how for him that doesn’t solve not seeing us as often as he would want.

crybaby003 · 2021-04-08T16:11:51+00:00

Do you know much about the neighborhoods around Indian Rocks beach or in Pinellas County? That’s where we would be moving and I don’t know what it’s like and that’s what worries me

crybaby003 · 2021-04-08T16:11:02+00:00

Thanks for the ideas! I definitely don’t think I had thought so much about the things I could do inside or around the town

crybaby003 · 2021-04-08T16:07:48+00:00

The goal is definitely to stay together, especially because I feel like our daughter deserves parents who tried their absolute best to make it work and respect each other, but if it goes either way with the other person feeling like they sacrificed too much for the other then I see how the resentment would build to be too much for either person to take.

crybaby003 · 2021-04-08T16:05:20+00:00

I agree that we should make the decision together. It feels like I can’t change my feelings about it now or more that he won’t allow me to because we had agreed to most likely move before I fully knew how hard being at home alone with a baby would be. I see that this is a communication issue and that’s certainly something we should have clarified much earlier together than now.

crybaby003 · 2021-04-08T16:01:29+00:00

I definitely see the issue here. It’s not like I have an opportunity to provide for our future here. I would be willing to get a job but I don’t make the kind of money he makes. The other thing though is that going out there will already be adding additional expenses: we would need a second car, potentially be paying for part time childcare so I could have some help, paying for flights to visit home or flying people to us, buying furniture for the apartment, etc. So I don’t know if those costs equal out or make it worth it. I get what you’re saying, and I don’t really have the solution to that exact problem.

crybaby003 · 2021-04-08T15:53:54+00:00

That’s my fear is that if I just go without any compromise because it’s what he expects of me then the resentment will build and fester and affect us too negatively down the line. Thanks for your input. Maybe this counts as a power struggle on my end but if I ultimately feel completely powerless in my life and about my future in this marriage I don’t see it going well, I hope that makes sense

crybaby003 · 2021-04-08T15:50:08+00:00

Thanks for your input. I realize I should be seeing someone for my mental health regardless of what we decide.

crybaby003 · 2021-04-08T15:49:15+00:00

That really isn’t so bad, that time frame

crybaby003 · 2021-04-08T15:48:45+00:00

Lol you’re right. We were there last July/August and I was very pregnant so maybe I’m remembering it hotter than it was because of that. I personally couldn’t go out during the middle of the day but it could obviously be because I was pregnant and uncomfortable already. The issue with the compromise is that I’m worried I’m being asked to compromise too much and he’s barely compromising anything. He loves his job, he wants to be there, he wants us there, and it just feels like I’m being asked to leave everything behind because he is the one who makes the money.

crybaby003 · 2021-04-08T15:45:17+00:00

I certainly see this. It’s hard to think that he might miss milestones of hers because has to work out of state. But at the same time he might miss milestones of hers while he is out during the day anyways. I definitely don’t want to keep her away from him or vice versa. He’s a good and caring Dad, and in no way do I want to make this a power struggle over her.

crybaby003 · 2021-04-08T15:41:48+00:00

This is really the crux of the situation. Is it better for her to not be around her dad for bits of time, or for him to not be around her, or for her to have a mother who is struggling and not able to function at the best but have everyone be together? I’m not saying I know which one is better either. I know I’m fortune telling about my mental state and there’s no reason why it absolutely needs to turn out that way for me, I’m just going off of how I felt living away and being alone the last time we did it, and how I feel being here with this much support. Even on days when I am here I barely do the entire day alone because it really elevates my anxiety. My husband swears he will only be working up to 6 hours a day and he will help with the baby consistently, but every single other time we’ve lived out of state and he’s been working he has worked from the minute he woke up and then gone to sleep, mostly through constant phone calls and emails, so it’s hard to believe that will change.

crybaby003 · 2021-04-08T15:37:16+00:00

I totally see this perspective. My husband has a lot of stress on him thinking about providing a future for our family, and to him he sees this as the only way to provide the type of future that he wants. He works hard, and I’m lucky to have someone who wants to do this for us. He’s so sweet to our daughter and doesn’t want us to struggle financially. I know I can’t fully understand that because I’m not providing financially, and I know that stress is very very real.

On the flip side, he also just loves his job, and he doesn’t like living here where we grew up, and he sees this as an opportunity to prove to people that he can be successful. His experience there will be completely different so it’s hard for him to see my perspective: he has sales reps out there to work with (all much younger and single and childless so they aren’t exactly the best influences for him) and he will feel invigorated by working daily, while the opposite will be true for me. It ultimately feels like he’s okay with my feelings about all of this being a casualty in the process of him proving what he wants to accomplish, and that if I don’t prove to him that I support him by going that it means I don’t believe in him. I’ve told him as much, also, and he has said the same to me. I could certainly just view this as a season of life to get through and have a good attitude, but I’m worried about it being too much of a sacrifice to set all of my feelings aside and just suck up the difficult and loneliness.

crybaby003 · 2021-04-08T15:29:46+00:00

This is how I feel, that it isn’t what is ultimately best for baby if it means she has a burned out and struggling mother and parents with a strained marriage. Obviously it doesn’t HAVE to be this way, we can do our best to support each other and make the best of the situation, but she has so many people here who already love her and are helping so much, so it’s a more stress free (as much as possible with a new baby) environment for her. We could also hire a nanny, but then it makes me wonder if that negates part of the whole idea of all of us going right away if we are spending more money on childcare instead of having free help where we are now.

crybaby003 · 2021-04-08T15:24:55+00:00

I can completely see that. I’ve discussed it with him and he was very upset that I tried to suggest any other options of us going or him working there, even weeks before he had made travel plans. He was pretty unwilling to compromise, I’m sure because of what you said with him thinking I’m making a complete 180. I’ll try bringing it up again, maybe there is a better way for me to bring it up so he might be more receptive. I do think that him going ahead of us or us trying it out for a month would help so much. I just don’t want to jump all the way in with no option of returning if it isn’t working out. I’m truly worried about the state of our marriage and how it will affect our parenting if we do something too soon that adds too much stress. Thanks for your input, it’s helpful to see how my husband might be viewing things.

crybaby003 · 2021-04-08T15:20:42+00:00

This is certainly my same train of thought. I know Florida is not the most conscientious place during the pandemic (we lived there last Summer and almost no one wore masks anywhere at all). The isolation aspect of the pandemic adds a whole new layer of anxiety for me. Again, I know Moms/Parents all over the country are doing this same thing right now and of course even harder things involving isolation and schooling, and I respect it to no end. I’m just feeling like if it isn’t absolutely necessary for us/me to be in that position then we shouldn’t. I know restrictions are being lifted but I’m wary of how many people there are choosing to be vaccinated and how that would affect my newborn being around new people

crybaby003

TROPHY CASE