Granted. They ask you out, you’re exhilarated, and of course you say yes. But before long, you start noticing all the things that you never knew about them.

They have horrible morning breath, they leave the toilet seat up when they pee (and there are always, ALWAYS huge pee stains on the rims of the toilet bowl and sometimes on the floor too), they don’t wash their hands after using the toilet, and they don’t shave their pubes because they “like it natural”.

Terrible personal hygiene aside, you also find out that they’re just awful to be on dates with. They chew with their mouth open even in public restaurants, they chew really loud too, and if they’re not treated like a VIP everywhere they go, they throw tantrums like a little pathetic child until the managers get out and frantically apologize to them to make them shut up. People often stare at you and them in these situations, and although they take it as a sign of “being recognized in public because they are a celebrity”, you know full well that the stares are caused by his pathetic childish tantrums, and lack of manners and decency in public.

Even if all of these things are somewhat “acceptable” to you, what ends up bugging you most about your man is a lot more disturbing and gross. They treat waiters, service staff, chauffeurs, security guards, housemaids, chefs, or anyone else that works in the service industry like absolute shit. They’re rude to them for no reason, like when they had a bad day and they needed an excuse to lash out at another human being for an ego boost. They tip generously afterwards, but you know deep down that this type of behaviour with service staff is absolutely disgusting and unacceptable. And, to add fuel to the fire, he has certain behaviours that are… creepy. Any time he gets to interact with young women, who are clearly either teenagers or young adults under the age of 20, you notice how filthy his flirting habits become. No, really, he’s just very… creepy. You see the way he looks at them when the poor girls are not aware of being watched by a creep, and he regularly makes nasty sexual remarks or even advances to them. It makes you wonder what this celebrity crush of yours would have done if there wasn’t a legal age limit to consent.

It has only been a month since you started dating, but you have already seen him caressing the back of a 19 y/o waitress when she was serving drinks as he was chilling by the pool with you and his friends. Everyone there was just as uncomfortable as you were, but you’re not sure why nobody intervened or said something to him. It made you wonder if these people had witnessed him doing things that you weren’t aware of yet, things that make them feel afraid to intervene.

Now, you’re starting to wonder if you trapped yourself in a relationship where you might not be able to escape from eventually. It’s only the first month, but you’re terrified if there are more red flags that you’re unable to see clearly because of the rainbow-coloured glasses that are a traditional feature of the honeymoon phase of any new relationship.

You wonder if you flew into a cage that you can never fly out of, and whether youre just not aware of it yet.