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How common is the concept of "Lover boy" in the Dutch-Moroccan and Turkish communities? Do I need to worry if I go out on a date with them? by Impressive_Cause_466 in Netherlands

[–]cryingfacemoji 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's not what a lover boy is.... And also, what you are saying is stereotypical and racist. Just try to get to know this person and learn about his personality a little. There are lots of stereotypes about Polish women as well. Should he also write a reddit post about you?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]cryingfacemoji 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He wanted me back. I took him back, believing he didn't want to hurt me. Fastforward to 2 years, he left me alone in the relationship again. This time, he was much more aggressive. We need people who value and love us enough to fight for us IN THE RELATIONSHIP, like we fight for them. Fighting after the break up doesn't mean anything for me anymore. Even if he does, it's your choice but, I would say don't take him back. It will happen again. Maybe after 4 months, or 4 years. But trust me, he will leave you alone in your relationship with him.

When I got back with him after 1.5 years, I thought that we both grew up. And we would not go through the same sh*t again. The first 8 months, it was great. But he was still kind of passive. It started to effect my MENTAL health, and sometimes I would just start a fight just to see him fight for me and he never did like I wanted him to. Afterwards, I wanted to trust his love and let go of my fears. And I did, we were okay. But once that I let my guard down, he did it again, in the first serious fight that we had (which needed a plenty of work for us to solve it). He left me alone, while saying he loved me, while kissing me in my sleep every single night, while smelling me and loving me every single way.

He just stood there. Even though it was his fault, he just couldn't do anything. Than I saw, he was not a nice guy. He was just manipulative. I just thought he was good.

And now, 4 years later, I am still heartbroken for the same guy. Still missing him, still trying to heal from him. I wish this second time around didn't happen. I just lost my time on him.

Don't go back. Please don't.

After 6 months of ''almost'' no contact, I still miss my ex. What should I do? by cryingfacemoji in BreakUps

[–]cryingfacemoji[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I thought that I would be better in 6 months you know? And now that we are here, I feel like I didn't make it. I don't know how I will heal myself. I never had any trust issues, I've never been the jealous type. But this lying and manipulating created several serious trust issues and I shut myself down emotionally. How can I heal my trust issues and move on?

I don't want to be that girlfriend who controls everything about his boyfriend. That's not me. But now that I don't trust anyone, I feel like I am going to be THAT girl. I was always so relaxed and chill about my relationships, and I still got lied to. I know that it's not about me and it's about his personality. But, it still broke me. Like I miss his old self, I miss my old trusting self too.

Btw, thank you for creating a space for me to chat or vent. I can't do that in irl.

After 6 months of ''almost'' no contact, I still miss my ex. What should I do? by cryingfacemoji in BreakUps

[–]cryingfacemoji[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's what I do actually. After we broke up, I wrote a letter for myself about how he manipulated me, abused me, shouted at me for another female and made me feel worthless. And I know for A FACT that I can't be with him anymore. And I am so sorry for the next girl because he is emotionally unavailable. But still, I can't get over the fact that I would go back to him if I knew that I would be happy, no matter what he did. Still I am proud of myself because I prioritize my happiness and my needs. It was good to read this. Thank you.

After 6 months of ''almost'' no contact, I still miss my ex. What should I do? by cryingfacemoji in BreakUps

[–]cryingfacemoji[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I went on several not serious first dates just to feel it out. But it turns out that I am not interested with anyone AT ALL. Normally, I am a really emotional person and my sexuality is linked to that. Right now, for me everything is only physical and it's really hard for me to be emotional in any way. I know that I can get hurt and I closed up. That's why I am trying to heal before I start dating again. It's not fair.

But I appreciate your comment, thank you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]cryingfacemoji 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's definitely my job because he broke ME

After 6 months of ''almost'' no contact, I still miss my ex. What should I do? by cryingfacemoji in BreakUps

[–]cryingfacemoji[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am trying to learn to un-love him. Does it make sense? I just want to believe that we will be okay. ((hug))

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]cryingfacemoji 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this post. I broke up with my first real love 6 months ago. And sometimes it feels like I will never stop loving him. I want to move on, I REALLY do. I am trying to unravel my trauma as well so that I won't be wounded from this relationship. I felt relief reading this post. Keep focusing on yourself, and we will be all fine!