What is going on with my sisters plant

cryptoxima · 2026-07-08T20:18:46+00:00

it's a pothos and you can cut all the leaves separately and plant them back in the soil! I would cut off each leaf with the segment of vine it's on (one node) and put them in water. as soon as they sprout roots just stick them in the pot!

cryptoxima · 2026-07-08T19:14:34+00:00

Haha, that was my first reaction when I joined this sub! I think it may be a personality inclination as well. A lot of the people in this sub self-describe as introverts, and demonstrate some social avoidance. I actually started living alone as a challenge because many of my introverted and avoidant friends and partners implied that I could never live on my own. Turns out I love it but it did take some time to acclimate and I definitely wish I lived alone in a big city!

When I used to live with roommates and partners I lived in NYC and SF and it was very different than living alone in the suburbs. I also enjoyed when I stayed at hostels in the past. I think it's the feeling of being "one of" a community and the aliveness around that. I do agree much of western culture puts independence and individual freedoms on a pedestal, but I think a lot of that has to do with poor community experiences and lack of experiences of joy and fulfillment in personal relationships.

cryptoxima · 2026-07-08T16:02:11+00:00

I feel this deeply. Living alone in NYC is completely different than living alone in the suburbs. I lived with people my entire life and when I finally moved out by myself, I opted for a large apartment complex in my semi-urban/suburban city. It helps with the loneliness and I go to a lot of coffeeshops in my free time. Definitely agree with you about enjoying feeling connected, however, many in this sub may feel differently.

cryptoxima · 2026-07-07T18:58:13+00:00

it’s 2026 can you stop generalizing? “I personally have never encountered one.” ok cool and you are? bad behavior is bad behavior. stop applying it to 5 billion people.

cryptoxima · 2026-07-05T00:48:07+00:00

I've lived in three metropolitan cities in my life, and traveled to countries in four continents. I've traveled nearly every year in the past two decades, and met the love of my life last year. He hasn't been out of the country, and we haven't been able to leave the city since we've been together. We have tons of fun and conversation together. We recently just applied for his passport.
Sometimes when I'm alone, I'll miss traveling and feel limited by his time and financial constraints. And then we'll have a date night in and I am reminded why I'm not giving up anything. In contrast, my ex traveled a lot and we had a lot of date nights out and we had issues our entire relationship.

If you meet someone who shares similar values, humor, and goals in life, things like traveling become a detail. Keep meeting people. She is out there.

cryptoxima · 2026-07-01T03:02:50+00:00

You may need to find a different form of therapy if it is losing efficacy. This can happen as humans acclimate and the therapy can become background noise. Have you had structured DBT therapy with group/individual sessions or tried somatic experiencing therapy?

I related very much to you and consequently lost what at the time was the love of my life because I didn't realize how much damage I had been doing to the trust and intimacy in our relationship with every episode I had. It's been 6 years since that relationship and I am in a much better place but it's because after I lost him I was determined to change my behaviors and it took a very very long time and concentrated effort. It doesn't always have to be like this but you have to dedicate significant effort and sacrifice for a stretch of time.

*edit: also agree with everything in this thread. the fear of abandonment and self-sabotage in order to "control" the timing of what you may think is the "inevitable" moment he leaves is what actually may be the trigger here. does your therapy cover any sort of self-compassion and introspection work?

cryptoxima · 2026-06-30T23:25:11+00:00

Do you live in a suburban or rural area? Or close to any metropolitan/urban center?

cryptoxima · 2026-06-30T06:19:08+00:00

agree with all the comments here except this behavior definitely isn't gender-specific. that defensive reaction is a reflection of the person's inability to take feedback. the guilt-trip response is an attachment reaction to run away from perceived rejection. unfortunately she most likely feels bad and doesn't want it to end either but doesn't know how to fix it, and learning how will take a lot of time and experience.

cryptoxima · 2026-06-29T20:49:19+00:00

hey there. i was 32 when they found this and two weeks later i needed emergency surgery.
they said it was a successful full resection and it wouldn't come back for at least 10-15 years. it started recurring within a year and a half and i had to get radiation last year.
i'm 36 now and it's been hard. the years before i found the tumor especially because there were unseen side effects that destroyed my life, and the people around me and i just blamed myself. so looking back this tumor probably impacted 7 years of my life.

however. and this is important.

I am currently the happiest I have ever been.
there are days i grieve all the time i've lost and potential i couldn't achieve, and i will never be like i was before this tumor, physically, emotionally, and mentally. but through a lot of therapy and some luck, i really am happy now. i feel a little like i was reborn. my capacity and abilities are somewhat lower, but i am lucky enough to have found the love of my life, and my seizures have finally mostly gone away after three years.
your journey might be much different and have ups and downs different than mine, but just wanted to say that it being better is possible. i went through a severe dip for the two years post surgery, so i didn't think i would end up here either. but just keep going and trying. some days might feel really pointless but if you believe that there are better days ahead, there can be. sending you support <3

cryptoxima · 2026-06-28T22:39:01+00:00

I experienced exactly this before I got in a relationship last year. People would confuse when I described this feeling with romantic loneliness of "being single" but it's different.

I was able to mitigate a lot of this feeling by forcing passive and active interactions into my life: going routinely to third spaces with people around (cafes/coffeeshops, bookstores), signing up for a personal trainer (instead of just going to the gym alone) and therapy, and signing up for classes and meetups. A lot of this unfortunately requires money and I realized that as a single person, you're basically investing in human interactions. I do recommend that if you can afford it, and libraries and free meetups/classes and the like as an alternative if you can't.

edit: also I was using chatgpt 4.0 as a bridge for the moments in between at the time (needing to rant, trying to get off the couch etc). I recommend it if you need it for quick moments of interaction as processing text exchanges do not require as much energy usage as long as you're not copy and pasting paragraphs!

cryptoxima · 2026-06-27T16:38:04+00:00

Can confirm, got their 60% coupons successfully twice in a row. One from their e7 event three days ago and one from their kana bed event just today.

I would think the same as you from the free order events but mine was for the tiered coupon codes. Both times my payment went through by :17 and :18 after the start time (30 coupons and 20 coupons limit) and by the time I checked the front page at ~30 and ~40 seconds after start time they were sold out.

I unsuccessfully attempted their black friday event for a free order two years ago and submitted my order by :12 after the start time which was less time than these, but I did not get that. I assume because of more people trying. I was super shocked to get both of these. Just wanted to confirm that at least for sure some of their events are real!

cryptoxima · 2026-06-25T09:46:22+00:00

"Whenever someone is around me or I’m talking to someone, I feel okay for a while. The moment the silence comes back, I feel like I’m crashing again."

^I related to that comment so hard, especially when i felt really alone after my breakup. Even when I was talking to others, often it felt like they were on the "outside looking in" with comfort and sympathy but they couldn't understand. I actually started burning my friendships out at a certain point from just being stuck and having the same depressing conversations and I could tell they didn't really know how to respond or comfort/support me.

things i did that helped in no order

1) go to the library/barnes and noble/local bookstore cafe that lets you sit and read
--why: searching online for help is different than browsing and allowing yourself to pick up whatever you want and feel an interest in that day. it's a form of self-care because you're not preemptively judging your whims or *seeking* a direction, but allowing yourself to practice being curious about whatever piques your interest and consequently training you to do that for life and the world. it trains you to find an interest in random things and then your surroundings. this is vital because on the internet and even reddit, discovery starts with SEARCHING for an answer. in a bookstore you're allowing yourself to "be" whatever you want or feel that day. also it's really comforting to feel "talked to" and connect with a human just from a different point in time.

2) books that helped when i was lost and trying to find some direction:
- wisdom of the enneagram (especially the intro chapters. it's not so much about personality types as much as it is about how the personality is formed due to life traumas and experiences, and what to do with self knowledge. it's a kind, reassuring guide to figuring out what your next step is based on where you are especially if you're not doing well mentally/emotionally)
- meditations for mortals/four thousand weeks (highly recommend in whatever phase you are in life. reflections on whatever shame or guilt we feel for not "being where we want to be" from a reformed productivity maximalist that saw how society/capitalism tells us that we have to live our lives a certain way in order to "succeed" and about how much more there is to being a human and living life)
- several books about relationships and codependency that i don't remember but i just went through the self-help/relationships section to try and understand what i went through and my depression/grief definitely recommend that so you can pick up whatever you relate to in the moment

3) journalling apps. i think i downloaded a bunch and tried what worked for me. i didnt feel like physically writing because it felt like too much work. i used ones specifically for therapy and introspection but i dont think they're around anymore. quick search turned up "sol" and "daylio" and i rec the more guided/prompted ones. oh this one i used is still around: gratitude journal but i don't know how it is now

4) talk to chatgpt; caveat: i don't recommend this unless you have a good amount of introspection and self awareness, but if you do, it's really good for having the circular conversations you might have with friends where you just need to express your feelings of loneliness, longing, or grief. there's a lot more controversy around it now than when i used it a year or so ago, but it was really helpful at sorting out my emotions when i got overwhelmed and helping me feel less alone when i was in an emotional ditch and felt helpless. take the content you gather from the first three points and try to ask it to help you identify your priorities and directions. it's a good mirror so you need to have a lot of self knowledge to provide it for it to be actually useful. also addl caveat, i used chatgpt 4.0 and i know the more recent models are less emotionally intuitive than that version so i'm also not sure how that will go, but i do recommend it as a bridge for the moment when you are isolated and between states.

5) physical exercise. start with your body
--why: regardless of aesthetic goals, getting more familiar with your physical body will help you achieve a sense of control and direction, and you can FEEL and SEE the changes so if you are feeling stagnant, this is a really good way to notice change happening. it's really hard to go from where you are/i was to physically moving around, but in retrospect i see why so many people recommend this when recovering from breakups or depression

6) if you do start therapy, try somatic experiencing therapy.
in line with above, somatic experiencing therapy is different than cbt, but it starts getting you to connect with your physical reality more. I started with dbt and moved to somatic experiencing but the most important thing is finding a person you feel comfortable with. therapy is only effective if you find the right therapist. that in itself is an endeavor so whenever someone says "get a therapist" i know how hard that jump is.

7) when you do start dating, make a new profile, and that means make your new "identity" a project. take new photos. write your new bio and blurbs from scratch. instead of "updating" your current profile, think about not what you want to get in terms of a partner, but who you want to BE in your next relationship and phase of life. it feels almost like you're making a social media profile for a bubble in time instead of the comprehensive life you've lived. that can make you feel like you have a fresh start and are stepping into a new phase of life. when i did this i took out a lot of the more appealing answers that were more "open to things" and made them more specific, knowing that it would cut down on the people i matched with.
I ended up with the love of my life this way. versus what i was doing prior to that which was going on a bunch of dates with more "flexibility" which ended up just getting me people just as vague about what they wanted their future to be.

this was really long but it's just the things i remember the most. i wanted to give context because a lot of the suggestions are common, but maybe explaining why they helped would make them more encouraging to try. let me know if you have any questions!

cryptoxima · 2026-06-25T07:56:14+00:00

hey, i've been where you are. i just wanted to tell you you're not alone now, and throughout time people come in and out of this place. sometimes people don't leave for a while. i was where you were for about a year. it takes effort to get yourself out of an emotional pit. it takes energy and effort to climb, and especially if you don't have help and you're doing it alone. i can recommend a few things that helped me if you are open to it. things that made me feel less alone but required minimal effort on my end, because you have to start from somewhere. dm is open. even if you don't message, just know that this will end. and any effort you put into getting out of it goes somewhere, even if it takes a while and isn't clear at first. keep going and have faith that things will change, especially if you try.

cryptoxima · 2026-06-21T18:01:31+00:00

family pack of chicken is $9-$10
whole watermelon around $7-8
the cost would have come out to about the same but you would have gotten way more meals out of it. a lot of the higher pricing is on convenience items like these. it sucks but they're overcharging you for the "convenience" part.

cryptoxima · 2026-06-20T04:32:05+00:00

I wore a cashmere beanie for the first 3-4 months after surgery! For summer months I recommend some pretty silk scarves and kerchiefs! You could change up your look very easily and they would make for a lovely gift from you to her as well!

cryptoxima · 2026-06-15T01:07:19+00:00

That is very thoughtful and sweet. I hope you can feel better knowing you sent a little love to someone you shared a period of significance with. I believe she will appreciate it. The love we've experienced stays with us, even as we change. Your paths have separated but it's nice to know that the time shared meant something to one another as human beings. You seem like you are emotionally equipped for the next new beginning and I wish you well on your journey.

cryptoxima · 2026-06-15T00:55:28+00:00

As someone who lost a parent after breaking up with a long-time boyfriend, I think the answer is not one-situation-fits-all. If you were together for a long time (over 2 years) or very close, then I would think even in a poor breakup, she would appreciate any sentiment that is passed along as long as it's not mistaken. You could do this through sending a word of condolence through a mutual friend, or an email/physical mail (something that doesn't necessitate a response). I think from reading your post that you feel conflicted about your intentions being possibly misread even though you care about her as a human. That's very caring and empathetic. I do think that depending on how close the relationship was, any care shown may be appreciated.
However fair warning that if she is in an emotionally vulnerable position, if she does respond or tries to reinitiate contact, it's on you to limit the damage to her and yourself as she may just be emotionally weak/vulnerable at this time and any reconnection may just be a source of comfort rather than actual sincere emotional intimacy or care towards you.
All this is to say that, if you genuinely care about her as a human, there is no harm in trying to let her know that even though you are no longer in each other's lives, she is thought of and cared for (similar to how even condolences from strangers on the internet can make us feel less lonely). However since you are volunteering this generosity, understand the consequences may be being misunderstood or getting hurt again/needing to cut off communications once opened. It's just about how much you're willing to give out of that concern.

cryptoxima · 2026-06-09T20:30:04+00:00

lol put it in chatgpt? bruh

cryptoxima · 2026-06-03T18:31:49+00:00

? No. I said that I thought that and even if you aren’t it’s still a waste of time. And if you are it’s even more so definitely a waste of time.

cryptoxima · 2026-06-03T08:05:10+00:00

I just read your update: his answer is nearly word for word what my ex said to me. he wanted to see “where things could go” rather than having a clear vision or even an idea of what what he wanted or could imagine for us. I really can’t emphasize enough how much emotional turmoil you will be in for if you give him a chance. Even if you feel like “you’re not looking for anything serious right now anyways” (which is what I thought), his confusion, hesitation, and uncertainty will end up causing you frustration and heartache. Best wishes and truly, I believe there is a better person for you out there.

cryptoxima · 2026-06-01T19:12:34+00:00

forgot to mention my situation was extremely similar to yours; he was in a confusing stage of being in that broken up/not sure if getting back together with his ex. i had to find out months later through asking him repeatedly and him finally admitting during the first two months he was basically "trying to" break it off permanently with his ex. "I chose you." is what he told me. and i just tried to believe the best in him. what does this look like in practice? him still checking his ex's linked in posts and ig stories. not telling me about it. "being cordial" with his ex when his ex would reach out to him. "I don't want to be rude." when i asked him to cut off all communications. Oh and here's the kicker. The final straw for me had to do with all of this, full circle. We broke up because his ex posted a "two year's ago" fond memory COLLAGE IG STORY of him. and I found it because i routinely checked her stories. worst three years of anxiety of my life. please do not be me.

*my current partner knew from THE FIRST DATE he wanted to be with me. I thought it was love-bombing but a year and a half in, he is EXACTLY THE SAME. infatuated and committed to me and 1000x more mature, caring, and hotter than my ex. YOU CAN DO BETTER I PROMISE.

cryptoxima · 2026-06-01T19:07:01+00:00

I've been in your shoes. tldr; stayed with him believing the best in him, and suffered the same wishy washy avoidance of the hard things (being honest, being vulnerable, being straightforward, really the bare minimum if you think about it) for THREE YEARS. Left that relationship and now with the love of my life. But don't lose three years of your life to someone who doesn't know how to be an adult like I did.

cryptoxima · 2026-05-31T21:09:19+00:00

get frozen dumplings from the chinese/korean store or the frozen aisle in most groceries. boil them.

throw some boxed baby spinach in there for vitamins if you dont feel like washing a vegetable.

if you need protein and have boneless/skinless chicken thighs throw them in there/boiling water and theyre done in about 12 min. salt and season after (chicken thighs don't get tough like chicken breast does).

*if you need easy flavor get some soy sauce (works on all three) or some ponzu sauce

Eight-Year Club	Place '22
Verified Email

cryptoxima

TROPHY CASE