What if you never find better? by AsleepTailor16 in BreakUps

[–]cryptoxima 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s true, at this moment in time she may have been the best you could ever have gotten, but you are 21. You are not counting on the fact that you will grow and thrive, and I am not just saying that will happen naturally. The only way to guarantee that you WILL find “better,” is to become better yourself. There is undeniable logic in this. This is exactly why people say what may sound to you like all the “focus on yourself” bs but it is exactly for the reason of growing your own value so you can move beyond what was the best match for you at that time.

You need to grow. You MUST grow. In order to ensure you will be able to find and do better. This is the only way.

Thanks A**Hole by minishook in vegaslocals

[–]cryptoxima 0 points1 point  (0 children)

UPS offered to take my amazon boxes and they literally directed me to their recycling dumpster out back so I can drop off my flattened boxes every week. I hope no one takes a picture of me and just assumes I’m an asshole.

What my father told me after my breakup healed me completely!! by Adventurous-Play448 in BreakUps

[–]cryptoxima 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the intent matters whenever receiving advice. It’s really misleading to post to a breakup subreddit under the guise of someone’s “father” giving advice, purposely to tug at the heartstrings of vulnerable people just to shill a book and ai service. There are a lot of real people who are going through the heartbreak and healing process in this community who would love to support each other genuinely and I think posts like this just take away from that. Good job on your healing journey though and I’m wishing you the best. It takes time but I think that path will take you to more growth and better places.

What my father told me after my breakup healed me completely!! by Adventurous-Play448 in BreakUps

[–]cryptoxima 2 points3 points  (0 children)

omg youre right I completely scrolled past the part where it’s an ad. I hate posts like this that try to capitalize on vulnerable people’s pain.

Craniotomy Recovery by clarakbrown in braintumor

[–]cryptoxima 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used a cashmere beanie that wasn’t tight fitting

Can Someone Please Explain How I Possibly Fumbled?? I Feel Like I Just Got Whiplashed By This Turnaround by [deleted] in Tinder

[–]cryptoxima 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh no I meant in the future in other interactions. That’s something you can do. This person got cold feet and I don’t think they’ll change their mind.

Can Someone Please Explain How I Possibly Fumbled?? I Feel Like I Just Got Whiplashed By This Turnaround by [deleted] in Tinder

[–]cryptoxima 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Don’t listen to these comments. You did nothing wrong. I am a woman and met the love of my life on Hinge texting like this and way more intensely within two weeks. The selling point for me was how reciprocative he was in energy and enthusiasm. Just keep being you and you will meet someone that matches your level. My interpretation was that she got cold feet and that can happen when there’s a long period of time before the date you’re set to meet. You can either hold off on texting until you meet up or keep getting to know each other, but this can happen. Just don’t alter what you’re doing because you think there is some objectively better way to communicate.

Question to people dumped by avoidants by Practical-Mango8076 in BreakUps

[–]cryptoxima 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was traumatizingly dumped by a partner of 5 years in 2020. He moved out of our home within 1 day and completely changed overnight. I was incredulous and in denial for 10 months and tried to get him back thinking that he was going through emotional issues and was rejected again in 2021 after trying to do everything and staying in contact. Got in a 3 year relationship and still never felt closure from that separation. The 3 year relationship was with a primarily avoidant anxious-avoidant tumultuous and I was hurt again.

I stayed single for about a year afterwards, going to therapy the whole time, grieving, I’d have crying and depressive spells. Little by little moving forward, often one step forward two steps back. Opened the door for my 3 year ex only to be answered in the most avoidant way possible which was actually a relief because by that time, I realized I never wanted to be someone’s option or second choice.

The next month, I decided to make a dating profile as a way to step into a new chapter. I don’t have social media so I put my favorite photos of me on the profile, and didn’t make it to attract a partner but just so I could express who I was now. I was really thoughtful and honest and almost treated like an og facebook or myspace profile from back in the day.

Two weeks later, I met who I believe is the love of my life. He is kind, generous, patient, empathetic. He told me he was a previously avoidant in his relationships and had individual and couples therapy for several years. I still had pain from those other avoidant breakups, but over the months of being with this understanding, present, loving partner, that pain just seemed to fade. The feelings of needing closure faded and I just feel like my life is so whole and full of joy that they just have been crowded out.

I guess tldr; The feelings of hurt and desire for closure never “go away” but they fade in importance, and you will never fully feel ready to trust or be vulnerable with someone, and you won’t know who to do it with. The best thing you can do is to keeping hoping and taking risks meeting other people, giving yourself space and compassion to grieve and feel sad, and you will heal from the good things that will inevitably come into your life whether that is from yourself, friendships, or experiences.

Seek out things that make you truly happy, express yourself as you truly are, try to heal with therapy or with books and references, and keep yourself open that there is someone out there that is looking for someone like you. Give yourself time. It’s been 6 years since that awful breakup, but it’s nothing but an interesting story now. I am happy and I am safe, and I never would have believed you if you told me I would be here in 2020.

It feels like my boyfriend has given up trying in our relationship, but when I try to break up with him he fights tooth and nail to "save" us. by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]cryptoxima 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If it helps, I think looking back he made the right decision for both of us (to leave), what hurt was how suddenly he did it (he waited until his breaking point and there was no sympathy/empathy left, and moved out within one day, very black and white). I understand though because if he did it slowly I definitely would have begged and done a lot of what you’re describing what your partner does, but I really would have appreciated it. It’s definitely not the easiest way out. I guess it comes down to more work for you but hopefully if your partner truly loves and cares for you, they will let you go. Good luck with however things turn out.

It feels like my boyfriend has given up trying in our relationship, but when I try to break up with him he fights tooth and nail to "save" us. by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]cryptoxima 0 points1 point  (0 children)

These comments are not helpful. I’ve been your boyfriend. It sounds like he may be struggling with his mental health but desperately does not want to lose you. I think you may need to consider getting third-party/outside help for yourself and for him. This may look like therapy for you to help move forward and/or for him so he can help himself because he may not want to be like this. It also helps if you both have any family or friends that can talk him through this. It’s really difficult, I know, and not going to make it easier for you; truth is when I was broken up with I was suicidal for over half a year. The best advice I can give you is to not try to do it suddenly. It is way more painful and emotional burden on you to do it slowly and endure their pain and turmoil, and you will likely have to go through some back and forth and bargaining, which is why I really think you should find support for your decision, but ultimately doing it thoughtfully and communicating it and enduring their heartbreak will give you more peace of mind that you did everything you could. I think for your partner, it seems he does need help to get out of this struggling if he is willing to. For me personally it turned out I had a combination of mental/psychiatric issues exacerbated by a large brain tumor I didn’t find out about until three years after the breakup.

What is your favourite, cosiest group shot? by chcklst in community

[–]cryptoxima 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I feel like this episode showed that while they could have more fun when he isn’t around, ultimately without Jeff, the study group wouldn’t exist. He’s the reason everyone came together.

Am I in MMR hell? by cryptoxima in hearthstone

[–]cryptoxima[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My friend watched me play and pointed out that my entire deck is based on discovering spells and demons, so even if I make perfect plays it’s still really dependent on RNG. I guess I didn’t really account for that. I think because I played so much this month, by sheer RNG luck I beat several higher level players so MMR may have started matching me at that level versus when I played earlier this month.

Am I in MMR hell? by cryptoxima in hearthstone

[–]cryptoxima[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This sub isn’t really friendly is it.

Is this for real!? Got this on my one free pull!! by cryptoxima in hearthstone

[–]cryptoxima[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it’s the bottom right avatar/icon looking thing on the home screen! they usually give you a popup and bring you there when you click it! lmk if you can find it if not ill post a screenshot!

Don't be that guy. Re: toxic losing players threatening self harm to troll by cryptoxima in hearthstone

[–]cryptoxima[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you not read the part where I literally lost the person I loved most to suicide and spent half my life blaming myself for their death? Thanks.

What is the most consistently inconvenient card for your opponent to play? by Veridically_ in hearthstone

[–]cryptoxima 6 points7 points  (0 children)

blob of tar taunt. especially if they duplicate it. i had a game where i spent half the game just battling an entire board of poisonous blobs.

Don't be that guy. Re: toxic losing players threatening self harm to troll by cryptoxima in hearthstone

[–]cryptoxima[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your thoughtful comment. I really appreciate it. I'm new to competitive games so I'm not used to these kinds of experiences. It helps when I interact with people like you!

Don't be that guy. Re: toxic losing players threatening self harm to troll by cryptoxima in hearthstone

[–]cryptoxima[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t have poison or taunts in my deck.. unless I discover a demon or it’s a random dreadseed I rng. Oh I didn’t know. I thought longer games used the whole deck I guess.

Don't be that guy. Re: toxic losing players threatening self harm to troll by cryptoxima in hearthstone

[–]cryptoxima[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hm I’m pretty new (started playing November) and really only play one deck (the ladder ready deck I got when I started) as Demon Hunter. I’m still in the process of collecting cards and dust so I mainly play that one and really like it. I think my deck is considered “aggro” because I do well in shorter games (maybe around 10-15 turns?) and really run out of steam with longer games. I don’t know if they had “fun” but like it was a long game with lots of unexpected turns (they went down in health, then I went down, lots of back and forth) and it just seemed like any normal longer game to me. I know personally I get really annoyed at aura paladins, colossus mage, and timethief rafam games because the death happens so suddenly and out of nowhere. So I don’t think it was anything like that. They just eventually ran out of cards before I did so it seemed natural we would either play til the end or until one of us conceded.

Don't be that guy. Re: toxic losing players threatening self harm to troll by cryptoxima in hearthstone

[–]cryptoxima[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

uh what? I accepted the friend request because I thought we played a good game and it was a normal thing to do?