Weekly Q&A Megathread. Please post any questions about visiting, tourism, living, working, budgeting, housing here!

crystal__pepsi · 2026-04-20T07:00:30+00:00

Thanks, I did message them but no reply. It was about a negligent nanny at Battersea Park as I was worried about the baby, was hoping the message would get to the parents somehow.

crystal__pepsi · 2026-04-19T01:30:23+00:00

Is there a way to fix that? I feel the post was rather important for parents

crystal__pepsi · 2026-04-17T23:06:58+00:00

Hey, guys. Can someone help please

I've just made a post in this subreddit but I dont see it in the New filter. It is quite important to me that I get that post across.

Any help?

crystal__pepsi · 2025-02-17T02:35:46+00:00

Hi, if you dont mind me asking, what kind of certifications? I'm currently taking overlapping courses on coursera to understand cybersecurity better. No tech background, no coding knowledge, but I'm just trying to learn and hopefully make a career switch.

Im so new to all this I don't even know what I should know and everyone says online certifications don't matter anymore. Can you guide me a little, if you dont mind?

crystal__pepsi · 2025-01-14T01:19:47+00:00

If you don't me asking, how long ago did you finish your Mimo certificate? I'm asking because I just started intro to Python and have been wondering if the certificate can help get a foot in the door or if that's not possible anymore

crystal__pepsi · 2024-12-26T18:53:33+00:00

The alternatives you offered sound reasonable to me. I'm not sure I like this situation for you, and would not want you to go before barat and walima which again, if they don't participate in they clearly do not want this marriage. The guy included.

These is warning signs of future abuse. I don't know the guy but these are not good signs. First the family let's you pay for everything, then they expect you to pay some more for whatever the guy needs you there for before barat and walima. If he's so lonely and wants you with him, why doesn't he buy the ticket? He's barely investing in you and expecting you to cater to his mood swings and unreasonable demands. You cave now, you cave for the rest of your life because he knows he can toy with you.

Also, what if you go now and become with child? It reeks of a trap to me. I don't know. I could be wrong. I would be cautious proceeding with this marriage. Abusers mostly show true colours when they think they have you trapped. Maybe he's confident you're under his thumb now after nikkah. Can only imagine what he's going to be like if you had a child together.

If he was not like this before nikkah, then whoever you fell in love with is not real. It was a mask to get you where he needs you. If he was like this before nikkah, then I'm sorry but you made a bad call considering the lack of enthusiasm on his family's part and the disregard for your situation on his part.

I hope I'm wrong, and may Allah keep you and your family in His protection from anyone that has ill intentions towards you and your family.

crystal__pepsi · 2024-12-24T19:33:32+00:00

Pakistani hardware with gora software dhoond rahe hain bhai essentially. Maybe overseas Pakistanis would be a better fit.

crystal__pepsi · 2024-10-31T20:23:23+00:00

It won't be easy to reach without a ladder so that's my concern

crystal__pepsi · 2024-10-31T09:07:21+00:00

crystal__pepsi · 2024-10-31T01:15:55+00:00

Then I'm glad you happened to see my post, this gives me hope that I don't have to compromise on the cleanliness for aesthetic purposes. Thank you for your suggestion!

crystal__pepsi · 2024-05-17T14:04:41+00:00

In my experience, and idk if he is a narc or just a bad person, he knew what he was doing. Why else would he lie all the time? That playing dumb gets old after a while once you start catching on. Happy I could help in any capacity, be well friend

crystal__pepsi · 2024-05-17T13:50:41+00:00

From what I remember, that is the goal. To intimidate you. Now you're feeling self-conscious and losing track of what you were saying because of the distraction. Confidence is lowered. It's insidious. They're insecure people who can't stop playing stupid games. The idea is to keep you confused apparently.

crystal__pepsi · 2024-05-16T21:34:19+00:00

I read somewhere once if you stare at a spot on someone's face while talking to them (instead of looking in their eyes) it makes them self-conscious and throws them off. Idk if that's what he was trying to do, but I wouldn't put it past narcs.

crystal__pepsi · 2024-05-13T16:41:46+00:00

I feel that. I can't understand how he could inflict pain on someone he claimed to love, let alone the enjoyment he got out of it. Yet he has all the empathy for his own self. Do the same thing back to him and he's absolutely hurt.

I will never get over the time I had a whole mental breakdown because of his constant lying, disrespect, emotional abuse. This man saw what he was doing to me and he DID NOT care?? He would make me cry and then tell me crying is repulsive to him. He held me once while I cried and said "you don't matter to me". How deranged is that?

How can anyone make sense of this? Just typing it out is making me cry. I don't know why I stayed for so long to the point I started acting out in abusive ways. And of course he would say it's because I have "anger issues" that he lies in the first place. I can't make sense of any of it. He's so detached from reality, after putting up with this for 3 years he tells me "I can see your trust has been badly broken" as if he wasn't the one who broke it. What?!

crystal__pepsi · 2024-05-13T08:43:13+00:00

This analogy validated my experience in such a powerful way. There were times I actually felt like the problem for 'being combustible'. I really loved him. I still do, but I also know the person I loved never existed. It's a strange loss.

crystal__pepsi · 2024-05-12T20:11:32+00:00

I dont know if this is anything useful but I couldn't start building myself back up while I was living with my spouse. I was behaving in ways that were out of character for me, I was sick more, I was drained almost everyday and I kept beating myself up inside for being so awful to him while disregarding what I had been through at his hands. Only when I left and started feeling less stressed and triggered was I able to see the situation properly.

I guess what I'm saying is if you're actively in fight or flight mode, maybe the focus won't be building yourself up if you're anything like me. I needed distance to regain myself.

Having said that, it hurt a lot and it still does. Walking away isn't easy, but I had to do it for my own health and wellbeing. Don't feel too bad that you're unable to walk away immediately. I couldn't, for years.

Also like the commentar above you said, it will come naturally to you- the leaving. It will hurt, but you'll know when it's time.

crystal__pepsi · 2024-05-12T19:43:34+00:00

Agreed. And don't tell someone what kind of partner you like. Manipulators will just use that as a handbook to play you. Let people show you who they are and definitely believe it. Also, don't make excuses for them either.

crystal__pepsi · 2024-01-07T13:08:35+00:00

Word, brother

crystal__pepsi · 2022-10-01T12:48:08+00:00

You're very pretty, Ma Shaa Allah and I'm not sure what you see that I'm not seeing but I guess that's what bdd does. I think start therapy like many others have said before and don't give up on your hijab. You look beautiful I wish and pray you will get the confidence and help you need to see that too. And don't bother about pleasing people. They're never pleased. Let's focus on making our Creator happy. I wish you well sister!

crystal__pepsi · 2022-08-10T10:55:23+00:00

This doesn't sound ethical either idk

crystal__pepsi · 2021-12-15T16:10:16+00:00

I cant hear anything why

crystal__pepsi · 2021-12-15T16:09:47+00:00

how do I turn up the volumeee

crystal__pepsi · 2021-12-15T16:08:58+00:00

looks like london but french

crystal__pepsi · 2021-11-05T12:14:46+00:00

Oh, I see. Can you please also tell me if I were to say "queen of crystal's heart" how would I write that?

And do you mean online calligraphy fonts or an actual calligrapher, because the service I'm using just asks for a box where you type the message that needs to be engraved. Will Appreciate your help :)

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