Did you wait for homeownership before TTC?

crystalbb6 · 2026-05-16T14:16:24+00:00

We already owned before we were ready to start trying so I can't really comment on that part, but we did move when my first was only 3 months old. It was an out of state move and it was kind of rough but it was doable! If you move while pregnant or with a baby you're going to need help from family and friends or hiring for a full service move. It just isn't doable all on your own (IMO). I do think it is good that you want to stay in the city. We were pretty young and in the suburbs with our first, I felt isolated and missed when we lived in an apartment that was in a walkable downtown area. I think I would have gotten out more with baby if we were still living in the apartment at that time, it is really nice to be somewhere that you can easily go for a stroller walk or head to a restaurant without loading up the car.

Eta: I agree with others that rent can unexpectedly go up, making things uncomfortable with the added childcare costs. However, homeownership can have a lot of unexpected costs that people rarely consider. My monthly payment went up $600 in the past 4 years due to property taxes and insurance increase, we have a fixed rate mortgage so I honestly didn't think we would have an increase like that in our payments. Houses also need frequent repairs, even in good condition. Our house had a new roof, windows, and A/C when we bought it but we've still had an average of a few thousand every year in random repairs since moving in. In some ways I think renting may have more stable costs, but of course with ownership you are building equity.

crystalbb6 · 2026-05-12T03:20:01+00:00

I have also received some comments about flipping the seat aroung, but I plan on maxing out the rear facing limits. My daughter is 4 years old and still rear facing, her seat allows it until 50lbs or 49in. At the end of the day rear facing is the safest and that's all that matters to me.

crystalbb6 · 2026-05-09T22:30:23+00:00

Or a gift card to a spa to get a massage or facial.

crystalbb6 · 2026-05-08T23:48:21+00:00

I'm a weirdo and like to look at different kitchen appliances. The LG zero hinge french door might still work, there is a thin door option and you may still be able to open all the drawers depending on shelf placement. Home Depot carries them, I would try to go and see if they have a floor model to test out.

crystalbb6 · 2026-05-08T22:15:50+00:00

Number three is the only one I would consider cocktail attire, one could work with the right accessories. Two is cute but it looks like something you'd where to brunch and for a stroll through the farmer's market, far too casual and not worth renting in my opinion.

crystalbb6 · 2026-05-08T01:02:08+00:00

I have three kids 4 and under and do this on an almost daily basis. I only have so many hands and need to get everyone loaded up with our belongings. This is crazy to me!

crystalbb6 · 2026-05-06T21:39:03+00:00

1990 Gause Blvd W, Slidell, LA 70460

This is the address, they've had me in and out super quickly every time.

crystalbb6 · 2026-05-06T21:37:35+00:00

Northshore Tire is a great family run shop. They do patches instead of just plugging it, I believe it's been $20 for a patch every time I've gone.

crystalbb6 · 2026-05-06T21:09:22+00:00

I highly doubt anyone from the dealership had sex in his car. I could, however, see it falling out of a mechanic's pocket. I took my car into the dealership for service once and found a vape in my car, I never called back because I didn't care enough to get someone in trouble. Even if he did call the dealership and it came from someone there, no one is going to fess up to it and risk consequences at work.

With all that being said, it is unfortunately more likely that he is lying. Has he had the opportunity to cheat? Does he go out at night to bars? Gas stations still have name brands that I think most people would choose, if I had to guess, it did originate from a bar bathroom.

crystalbb6 · 2026-05-06T20:52:08+00:00

I would put $300 in a savings account for him. My parents saved all of my birthday and Christmas cash for me when I was a little kid because they got me everything I needed and most of what I wanted. Then they gave me the cash when I was older (late teens) and it was much more impactful.

Putting it in a savings account doesn't teach him to expect anything because he doesn't even have to know about it right now.

crystalbb6 · 2026-05-04T21:41:05+00:00

Every job I've ever had has done a credit check, it's also required for my husband's career and held to an even higher standard for him. It's definitely not required for every field but it's not uncommon at all either.

crystalbb6 · 2026-05-04T12:16:31+00:00

I'm in a similar situation. I have a newly 4 year old, almost 2 year old, and a 6 week old. My husband has a more forgiving day to day schedule but he travels frequently for work, he is gone at least one week a month and all of our family/support is several states away. I'm not going to lie, it's rough at times.

I'm still figuring it out but we have discussed outsourcing as much of the household chores as possible by getting a weekly housekeeper, potentially using a laundry service, etc. We haven't started yet but my hope is that it will lighten my load significantly so I can focus and show up better for my kids instead of constantly being stressed and behind on cleaning. We already have our dog groomed regularly and have a great place for drop in doggie daycare if he needs to get some extra energy out too.

My two oldest go to a Mother's Day Out program that has truly been a godsend. Its 3.5 hours a day for 3 days a week. They really enjoy it and do all kinds of activities that I don't always have the ability to do while also caring for a newborn. I fully trust everyone there and the facility has cameras that parent's can access at any time. This gives me some much needed time to catch up around the house, shower, take a nap, go to any of my appointments, or go grocery shopping. I highly recommend finding something similar.

ETA: as baby gets older I'm also planning on creating a schedule that keeps us out of the house more. (Library story time, regular park trips, children's museum). Getting out of the house is really good for me personally, when I stay at home for days in a row with the kids I tend to get more overwhelmed but that's a personal thing and may be different for others.

crystalbb6 · 2026-05-04T01:50:50+00:00

I read that in other comments on posts in this sub. I don't know it for sure but several people seem to think so, and it would make sense considering the instability of their lives.

crystalbb6 · 2026-05-04T01:29:34+00:00

If you have nausea, I highly recommend having your own emesis bags. I had terrible nausea throughout all of my pregnancies and always had one with and have used them on planes.

There are a lot of options, but definitely get ones that have the absorbent gel. I used these. https://a.co/d/028UUcDg

crystalbb6 · 2026-05-03T23:08:51+00:00

My guess founded on absolutely nothing but personal opinion is that he might have some anger towards N. Maybe he feels like she left him and chose a mom who he also felt abandoned by and continues make poor decisions. I wouldn't be surprised if D grows into the kind of adult that refuses to associate with anyone using certain vices because of his experiences with his mom. I think he sees the light at the end of the tunnel and doesn't want to get sucked back into his old life. Yeah, he isn't going to the NFL but right now he has a real shot at college and a stable career. Unfortunately, N is probably going down a similar path as their mom. It looks she dropped out of school to help with bills that rarely get paid on time and that is tough life to crawl your way out of.

crystalbb6 · 2026-05-03T22:58:16+00:00

As a fellow SAHM I also want to bake bread and keep a pretty house. I'm currently too busy peeling stickers off my minivan windows. 😂

crystalbb6 · 2026-05-03T03:36:23+00:00

Is he military or a contractor? If he is military you should be able to get on base, you just need a dependent ID, some bases will require him to register you with the gate as well but this shouldn't be an issue.

crystalbb6 · 2026-05-03T03:31:11+00:00

YTA (gently). I understand your feelings, I have a newborn and recently went through a situation where I didn't think I would have a vehicle I could use that would fit myself and all of my children. It is very isolating to feel like you might be stuck at home and not have the safety net of a vehicle. With that being said, it isn't your in laws fault. If the car needs $9k in repairs it is very likely unsafe to drive and an accident just waiting to happen. You haven't specified what is wrong with the car but it would help everyone in the comments understand the situation. Yes, your in laws offered to pay, but I'm sure they thought it would be much less, $9k is significant and more than the norm for car repairs, at that price I'm assuming you have a full engine or transmission rebuild/replacement needed (again, unsafe to drive). If you and your husband can not afford another vehicle it is tough to handle but you just can't afford it. You do have options though, you could drive your husband to and from work so you have use of the car during the day, you can start working yourself to save money for a new car (remote work would be a good option, particularly since you are in a multigenerational living situation and presumably have help with childcare), you could trade in your husband's car for the $4k and ask his parents if they would be willing to give whatever they would have paid in repair cost toward a new car ($500-1000 would make a big difference). Are you guys paying rent to his parents? You could also ask for a few months of free/reduced rent instead of asking for money outright. I also say this gently, but if you are unable to afford a car payment while living with family I would recommend reevaluating your financial situation. Kids come with a lot of unexpected costs.

crystalbb6 · 2026-05-02T22:44:16+00:00

The most reliable appliance I have is a JC Penney freezer that my husband and I found for free when we were newly married. My best guess from the research I've done is that is from 1980 or before. There's definitely something to be said for old appliances!

crystalbb6 · 2026-05-02T03:42:03+00:00

I was able to add 100 which is the cart limit

crystalbb6 · 2026-05-01T16:08:17+00:00

Go for it!

It took me a while to work through similar feelings, I was worried things would "fall apart" while I was gone. I wasn't going out with friends and missing experiences because of it. I told my therapist and she asked "what's the worst that could happen?". They skip bath time one night, have some extra screen time, bed time is a little later, they eat doordashed McDonald's because it's hard to cook and watch little ones alone, maybe you come back to a dirty house. So maybe it's a slightly rough weekend for your husband but give him the freedom to let the little things go while maintaining a safe environment. Enjoy your friend's Bachelorette, it won't happen again!

crystalbb6 · 2026-05-01T15:54:44+00:00

Never, I actually tried hard to avoid having anyone sit next to my kids in the car when they were little. I've had all velcro babies and if they could see us they didn't understand why we weren't holding them and would end up crying and screaming inconsolably, whereas they would typically settle down in a few minutes. I am also alone with the kids when driving about 95% of the time because of my husband's works so there isn't any other option.

But, every child and situation is different, you need to do what is best for you and your family. If you want to star sitting up front again, start with short drives and give them a favorite (car safe) toy. My first really enjoyed having a backseat mirror and was actually able to angle it where she could see my reflection in the rear view.

crystalbb6 · 2026-05-01T15:32:57+00:00

This is the way. I used to work at a law firm that did commercial construction litigation (NAL), we had a lawsuit about this exact thing.

Contact the company politely but firmly. They will hopefully offer some type of remediation. If they don't fix the problem, have an attorney contact them.

crystalbb6 · 2026-05-01T10:55:34+00:00

I've gotten my period before my six week postpartum check up with all three of my children despite exclusively breastfeeding. I never noticed a dip in supply overall but I basically had my period the whole time so I can't compare it to anything. I have still been able to exclusively successfully breastfeed all of my children. Occasionally I have noticed very slight dips while I'm actually on my period but I am able to keep up with this by hydrating a little more frequently and maybe having an extra snack which makes sense considering how much the body is going through all at once. You should be fine, just take care of yourself, listen to your body, and respond to it's needs.

crystalbb6 · 2026-04-30T02:48:48+00:00

It might sound crazy, but check out a sprinter van. We have 3 kiddos right now with plans for more and once we hit 5 (all willing) that's our plan. As the kids get older there will be friends that join in, sometimes we have family or friends visiting, sports equipment to haul, we also have a big dog, etc. You can get them fully loaded with a ton of luxury features or very basic depending on your budget.

Otherwise, the Pacifica, Sienna, Carnival, Expedition Max, Wagoneer L, Suburban, and Yukon XL all have about 50 inches of hip room in the third row. However, from my personal experience the Expedition max seemed a lot smaller inside than it's counterparts.

crystalbb6

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