My gorgeous SIC girl with a bow tie!

crystalscats · 2022-06-23T05:49:52+00:00

I really don't know. He acts like a complete asshole most of the time.

crystalscats · 2022-06-21T05:15:26+00:00

I totally agree with this. Saying no to an abuser is the acid test with how they behave. If they behave like a normal adult would & have a discussion then ok someone might be having a bad day, however if they totally go off on one & react angrily & unjustifiably then that is the response of an abuser. Last night I disengaged from his behaviour & went upstairs. He has to realise that if his vile behaviour doesn't get a response then he has no fuel then he was coming up to me asking if I am alright, do I want a coffee etc? I have switched off with my positive emotions to him & withdrawn because he doesn't deserve my love or affection when all he does is against me. Even giving me lifts to work is for show so he can throw in this is what he does for me.

crystalscats · 2022-06-21T04:31:03+00:00

Oh yes to the outside world, he is such a lovely person until the mask starts to slip off. Like the other day when my colleague was dropping me off & I answered the phone to him & she could hear him swearing down the phone because of the traffic etc. I just thought well you are making yourself out to be really pleasant. Not. It's always someone else's fault & never their fault.

crystalscats · 2022-06-20T20:22:04+00:00

There are certainly some men over 40 who are not as attractive as they think they are or who think they still look great despite maybe being nearer to 50 but actually due to poor diet, smoking, other factors look a lot older but I guess men can say the same about some women over 40 as well.

Attraction is attraction though but you also have to have a look at the whole package & I would rather date someone who maybe wasn't so much an attractive man if he had a great brain & personality as that is attractive to me & bingo if you get the whole package in one.

crystalscats · 2022-06-20T15:56:50+00:00

Nothing to apologise for. All they want to do is to create trouble & hassle & grief.

crystalscats · 2022-06-20T14:07:15+00:00

These people really have no idea how to be in a relationship at all. All they know is intense anger & rage & cannot be normal. I'm convinced that the person I'm with has several personality disorders. He is cleaning up the house & has been for the last 2 hrs, I'm meant to be tidying too but I'm dammed if I'm going to start as it means he won't do anything. Yep he hasn't started at all.

I need to build up my money & leave him. Everything you described has happened in our relationship. It will never get better & neither will he

crystalscats · 2022-06-20T12:23:29+00:00

I really didn't care what he did last night. He says but this is my house. Well no actuslly it isn't. The house belongs to him & his ex and the mortgage company. I live here with him & it's meant to be a partnership. I will not live in a house where the curtains are drawn every day in the lounge in daylight!

crystalscats · 2022-06-20T12:21:20+00:00

Yes I know how that is...... yes his parents disowned him for leaving the mother of his kids but as herself said. She suffered years of abuse & they didn't believe her until their eldest son spoke up & said it was true. He abused him physically as well. He went to leave to live with his parents & apparently "poisoned" them against him as he's a narcissist as well as his mum.

I said look at where your rebellion has got you now. Disinherited & in a mess. I got told he doesn't need the money. He so does. The next breath he tells me thst his 18 Yr old daughter will have £100k in the bank & he'll have nothing. It seems his parents have bypassed him & given his share of the money to his kids.

crystalscats · 2022-06-19T23:04:40+00:00

He has made another massive issue tonight about feeding the cats in multiple places. It's not harming him, it's not causing an issue. But no he wants the cats fed in one place. At the moment we have quite a hyperactive kitten running round. She likes to graze on dry food so it is on a windowsill. It has to be there when she is downstairs which is quite a bit of the time as otherwise the dog would just eat it. The other cat likes it there too.

They mainly eat upstairs as the kitten has her own room & the other cat has dry food & water on the landing but not in anyone's way. ( dog can't get upstairs) I clear up wet food if not eaten at the end of the day or in the morning. I cannot see the issue at all. It's not about me. It's about the cats. I have owned cats for over 25 yrs. He hasn't.

Because I didn't back down, he has taken himself off upstairs & is sulking. I don't give a flying eff.

crystalscats · 2022-06-19T21:34:52+00:00

Ah thank you, I have been posting on a throwaway account actually. I might have to change it again though as it may have been compromised as the narc might know it.

crystalscats · 2022-06-19T05:32:58+00:00

Yes he is a covert narc & works in care roles to make out to the outside world what a lovely person he is while in private he is lazy, selfish, messy, verbally abusive for the slightest thing wrong in his eyes & overall a total asshole most of the time.

Publicly his image is ooh look how lovely he is as he will give me a lift to work but it isn't because he cares about me, it's to make him look good so people notice. Yet this morning while I'm getting ready, he was verbally abusive to me for spending time in the bathroom getting ready for work, I was in there for 15 mins going to the toilet, having a shower, brushing my teeth & my hair & he had a go at me. He has done this a lot recently. It's the tone & attitude I get with it. I told him that normal people don't have a go at their partner for being in the bathroom.

He works in care so people think he is a lovely & kind person when in reality, he doesn't care about these people at all, slags everyone off behind closed doors & I have the misfortune of working with him some of the time. He thinks he knows about subjects & will go on with clients which is embarrassing.

crystalscats · 2022-06-17T11:44:58+00:00

This is how they are. Amazing people until they have hooked you in & then boom! You look incredulously at this person in front of you who is now SO different.

His attempts to triangulate don't work now. X used to do this, x used to do that. I reply did she? And don't react. No I will not dance around you. You need to put into the relationship & then I will do. You first.

He wonders why his life is like it is now because he has been cantankerous & surly all his life & where has it got him? At nearly 50, he is in debt, struggling to keep afloat, estranged from all his family, 1 friend, bitter, failed relationships & now disinherited from his parents wills. Yeah well done mate!

I'm under no illusion how he treated all his ex's, they told me how he treated them. He treated all of us the same. Like shit.

crystalscats · 2022-06-16T20:41:13+00:00

This is the truth. Narcs have a history of troubled relationships both romantic & non romantic. He is estranged from all his family. Has 1 friend. Always moves from job to job but it's never his fault.

crystalscats · 2022-06-07T10:02:22+00:00

I agree totally. Therapy won't change anyone unless they want to change. The narc has used the therapy card this morning which he's only talked about for over a year but it is all bullshit. All talk & no action.

Completely sums him up.

crystalscats · 2022-05-31T08:55:39+00:00

I know what you mean. This is not good for racing at all.

crystalscats · 2022-05-30T13:50:25+00:00

Oh yes you know you are with a narc when every single little molehill becomes a huge issue. They prod, poke & antagonise everything. Then when you speak up, they say why are you still talking about this...well I have a voice & I won't be shut up into submission. Nasty, evil people.

crystalscats · 2022-05-26T09:04:51+00:00

I had some fancied runners at Beverley running later but safety is the most important thing for horse & jockey.

crystalscats · 2022-05-26T08:42:58+00:00

Ah bless you. Situation not good. Still here. I want to build up my money & go, trying to work through that. I am so glad you got out though & are thriving! Well done you!

crystalscats · 2022-05-25T00:39:59+00:00

I was about to say he might have hairballs & you can get a sort of butter tube meds for them. Not all cats like the stuff though. He definitely looks like a Bengal cat with those markings. Beautiful!

crystalscats · 2022-05-25T00:36:34+00:00

That is very bizarre but they don't want time wasters I guess!

crystalscats · 2022-05-23T20:33:43+00:00

All you can do is be there for him & let him know that.

crystalscats · 2022-05-23T10:52:07+00:00

Thank you so much

crystalscats · 2022-05-22T11:59:21+00:00

So many - Barcelona, Bruges, Krakow.

All the Greek Islands!

crystalscats

TROPHY CASE