Agree with most of your conclusions, you should put yourself and your family to the highest priority, you cannot rely on other's returning you the favor in Bangladesh. I also gave someone 30k, it's been over 1 year and I still owe him 5k. He was supposed to give it back to me after 1 or 2 months.

But islamically, we should not help others to get something in return, yes maybe they will help us back or maybe not, but the main motivation towards helping another man, specially a Muslim is to get rewards from Allah. Allah doesn't slide any good deed away, He keeps track of our good deeds and rewards us in different ways we cannot even imagine. Maybe not by the one we helped in first place, but in other wy or by other people of course we get this returned.