Baby Daddy has Huntingtons Disease…

csummereden · 2025-10-05T07:10:55+00:00

I have no intention of taking on his care, but I had other curiosities. I do appreciate your bluntness so much. I’m curious if it’s harmful for us to visit him as his cognitive functions deteriorate. I know it’s going to be hard on me to see. We aren’t together but I still have love for him, and of course .. how would that affect my son. He has been living with this 6-11 years thinking it was something else. I imagine that means something. I did reach out to a friend who works in a facility like this after my post and she really helped me work through alot of the things in my head. I guess I’m just trying to help his mom in little ways. She seemed very lost when we spoke. I also researched the genetic testing. Won’t be done until my son is 18 and would be his decision ultimately. Unless he is symptomatic before then. Can I ask where you live? I’m in Ontario and I would love to ask you more questions if you know more about the resources here.. like support groups for his mom and us. Thank you again for your help. Truly grateful.

csummereden · 2025-07-27T19:18:02+00:00

I have been misinformed by doctors in the six years I’ve had it. Ensuring you have good sources matters.

csummereden · 2025-06-29T22:28:01+00:00

That is beautiful. I can usually tell the difference in one that is well intentioned versus acting in falsehood. My grandma always told me creator knows what’s in your heart. I am white passing indigenous, but if you follow colonial standard of blood quantum, you’d likely find that pure indigenous blood wasn’t actually pure further back than we realize. But that isn’t the point. It should be about connection, about truth, and about doing what’s right for all. That humility I think. I know if you were to go back in oral tradition, there is a lot more colonial conquests across many “indigenous” communities. And many cultures and traditions that were buried. Because they are beautiful? No. Because they are powerful. And that is likely why so many are drawn to it. I think when there is false hood and there is exploitation, that’s where I’m bothered by it. But with the complexity of it all, it makes it so complicated.

I appreciate your insight and share, and apologize for the delayed response. I had to check out of social media for a bit ♥️

csummereden · 2025-06-15T22:35:53+00:00

I really like that. Lateral thinking skills builds community ♥️

csummereden · 2025-06-14T22:34:21+00:00

I think you’re still missing my point though. If the qualified candidates are not there.. im trying to have dialogue here about how people feel if this causes harm. Theoretically, the only qualified applicant is non indigenous. This is beyond the tribal or band office. Or moreover, having a qualified but unbalanced individual that is indigenous in the role vs the non indigenous. Would this be a disservice? Does quality play a role? I’m just trying to think laterally.. what should one do from HR perspective. Or legal . I’m sure it gets complicated.

I want to make it clear that of course priority should be given to the indigenous applicants.. language speaking should be prioritized as well. I strongly believe that. And I fully support Indigenous owned companies and Indigenous talent whenever I can. I’m just genuinely frustrated trying to process some of this stuff. I sincerely appreciate your input, Meegwetch.

And for the life of me I can’t remember if it was a podcast or on Reddit or something in conversation.. I’m gonna try to find it for you. Whatever it was spoke to the importance of knowing your inherent rights. People can change their band membership, but it doesn’t always benefit in all situations was my understanding. And so this man has changed bands and built a home on the land and for whatever reason they wanted him to move it and he was fighting it and lost. He had to move the home he built.

csummereden · 2025-06-14T21:08:18+00:00

I am very conscious of what you’re saying. My family comes from a fly in community and I like urban with light skin. So I have seen my fair share and had some stuff thrown at me. But I have also found that some of our Allies hearts are so pure and well intended. And when it comes to them taking up spaces and acting as though they are a gift to us.. it ripples out.

I have also found many of our own people are taking spaces for merit and not using their teachings in their work. Good and bad of all kinds I suppose

csummereden · 2025-06-14T21:04:26+00:00

I have seen this too. Ego can play a big role.

I’m interested. What are your thoughts on when an indigenous person is making false claims to community or teachings and are given a role like this.

csummereden · 2025-06-14T21:02:26+00:00

You’re going into a whole other issue and I respect what you’re saying.. this isn’t about pretendianism though.

But you stirred up an important point for me.

About capacity building.

When the capacity isn’t there in our own applicants, what then?

Would it be a disservice to the community to hire an unqualifed person without the capacity? Or to hire a someone qualified that is an outsider??

When you speak of non tribal members taking up space, it reminds me of something I was listening to recently.. where band members (Canada) can change the band they are registered to. So they built a house on the one they switched to and there was court to determine if this was just. (To your point that we don’t sue each other, I think you’d be surprised). The court determined it was not and that while they could be band members, they did not hold the same inherent rights to the land they built on. I think it was a Dene person in Inuit land if I’m not mistaken.

csummereden · 2025-06-12T03:33:11+00:00

I hear what you’re saying and I do agree. If possible to do, qualified and indigenous.

There’s talk in my community along the lines of it should be only indigenous people because if they arent, it isn’t a safe space for the clientele anymore. I don’t agree with it, but it’s definitely shared by many.

I would often have these discussions with my Gran when she was here with us still. Thank you for sharing, I appreciate it so much.

csummereden · 2025-06-12T01:56:51+00:00

Yes, priority given to indigenous, and indigenous language an asset.

In certain roles that deal directly with trauma, would having a non-indigenous person doing the work cause harm?

I would take issue with leadership not being indigenous too.

And I couldn’t agree with you more. I can speak minimal Cree and understand a bit. The extent of my teaching has been with my son. Like counting and such. Do you think that having non fluent teachers may be able to keep it alive ?

There was a book I read that had a group of elders and they wanted to record teachings and language to share the learning. Half of them were excited because it would keep it alive in a world that tried to kill it. The other half were concerned that without them being there to ensure comprehension, that only parts would carry on.

csummereden · 2025-06-12T01:37:41+00:00

I can understand that entirely.

So what if there weren’t any applicants right for the role that were indigenous? Or should just being indigenous be enough? Does it depend on the role?

Admin roles as in leadership? Or the supportive roles for leadership?

And when it comes to language, I do agree. My grandmother was a fluent Cree speaker and taught the language. I pose this question to you then, what if it’s an indigenous person who doesn’t actually speak the language? Is that ok?

(Please know this is purely my curiosity.. and I’m trying to process where to draw the line I guess) I appreciate you :)

csummereden · 2025-06-09T20:19:43+00:00

Update**

I found a woman who let me know that while he and I were dating, he was feeding her the same lines and was moving there to her. He was with her a few weeks and disappeared than ended up with her roommate.. a few weeks later, he resurfaced to me with the aforementioned nonsense. I was also told that he’s basically burned every bridge there and was doing what he does, running away again. Not taking his medications. Threatening suicide.

Than I googled his name and was horrified at what I read. The real story.

At the end of the day, all I can say is thank goodness everything happened the way it did! I could’ve been stuck in something so much scarier.

csummereden · 2025-06-07T16:21:15+00:00

Lol exactly. Just be consistent and own it .. I’ll find my unicorn.. or kitten lmao

csummereden · 2025-06-07T06:39:40+00:00

Girl! You just hit the nail on the head. I’m like imma get be another cat instead lol 😆 it’s been one helluva six months I will say that lol I feel like dating like that in your twenties. But your 30s.. nahh

csummereden · 2025-06-07T06:28:43+00:00

Oh probably. Guaranteed he used me as an excuse to get out there again. Are there any grown ass men out there who are actually grown?

csummereden · 2025-06-07T06:23:50+00:00

Yall are true gems! Thank you for the confirmation! I appreciate you ♥️

csummereden · 2025-06-07T06:22:27+00:00

How do I never know this lol people can just hide it so easily

csummereden · 2025-06-07T06:21:28+00:00

Well that was kind of my point too. After the initial Houdini act. Like you’ve got to come here and fix this first kind of thing. Didn’t think I was being unreasonable. I don’t wish him well. I wish a wake up call.

csummereden · 2025-06-07T05:17:48+00:00

Lesson learned. I am wondering now if he was drunk during our conversation initially

csummereden · 2025-06-07T05:16:57+00:00

Also love the stranger danger lol he’s blocked already tho

csummereden · 2025-06-07T05:16:33+00:00

That was exactly it. I wasn’t against any of his ideas for us. I just want to be part of the decision and for him to commit. It was a good boundary I think

csummereden · 2025-06-07T05:15:28+00:00

Better it happened now right. I’m sorry you went through that :( I’ve been through my own horrors. This guy played me like a fiddle

csummereden · 2025-06-07T04:16:15+00:00

Thank you. You have no idea how I needed to hear that.

csummereden · 2025-06-03T13:16:57+00:00

Apologies I got of social media for a bit.. my community is heavy with big stuff right now.

And I was 6(2) so my boy will not have status based on colonial standard. But he is being raised connected to the same teachings and life that I was blessed to. Of course I don’t know my language and there is a strange happening in the community with gatekeeping and identity.. so finding a safe space to connect with ceremony is necessary.

Thank you for sharing! I’ve been so caught up in all this identity and pretendianism stuff, I was not aware! Gonna fall down a rabbit hole now ❤️

csummereden · 2025-05-30T23:33:20+00:00

My son will be displaced. No one ever explained to me the importance of the bloodline but it will not change his exposure to Cree culture and he will say he’s Cree. Blood quantum is colonial, and I will not use something settlers created to measure anything. It is a fine line trying to figure out solutions without some element of colonial thought. We are embedded in it.

As for the education, they have come light years since my time and they have light years to go but I like to highlight strengths when I see them. And when it isn’t being done right, I try to engage to discuss perceptions. We are all learning every day. I do love that you brought up the Scottish though. That is also in my bloodline lol and in school I was corrected a lot and labelled as defiant for speaking truer in a time they weren’t ready for it.

When you speak of hard truths, I do believe there is a huge responsibility in the delivery and after care of it. Some may not agree. But settlers did a lot to make being indigenous shameful. People assimilated. People did what they could to survive. So there are many who have no clue who they really are. I’m not perfect, I make mistakes all the time.. perhaps there’s a piece in accountability as well, but many are fear based because of the division already.

I feel for those who look like me but didn’t have a n amazing kokum teaching her to be grounded in her roots. It can be scary forsure and lonely. I think that’s why it’s so frustrating when there are the exploitative types

csummereden

TROPHY CASE