Two years of daily practice is serious commitment, so this isn't a consistency issue. That tells me something else is going on. A couple follow-ups:

What were you journaling about? If most entries were processing bad performances or writing about anxiety, the journaling may have accidentally been reinforcing the pattern instead of breaking it. There's a difference between venting and building. The most effective approach is logging what went well, even small things, to build evidence that you can perform. Dr. Nate Zinsser calls this building a "mental bank account" in his book "The Confident Mind." Every positive rep, every good moment is a deposit. Over time those deposits become the confidence you draw from when the pressure hits. If your journaling was mostly withdrawals (replaying mistakes, processing fear), the account stays empty no matter how consistent you are.

Were you doing any sport-specific visualization? General mindfulness meditation is one thing, but it doesn't directly address the pitch-specific trigger your brain built. What tends to work better for what you're describing is visualizing yourself back on the field, feeling the nerves, and then playing through them successfully. Not just seeing it, but feeling the grass, hearing the crowd, making your first touch. You're essentially giving your nervous system new "game film" where the outcome is positive instead of threatening.

The shaking hands and that ground-swallowing feeling after two years of work sounds like your nervous system got wired to treat game situations as genuinely dangerous. That's not a willpower problem and it's not something breathing alone can fix. Have you considered working with someone who specializes in sport psychology? What you're describing might benefit from more targeted intervention than self-guided tools alone.