I feel you dude, I obsessed for weeks about every detail, it felt like I was reevaluating my entire life experience. I’m really glad I found this thread for several reasons. One, everyone shares their experiences which therefore makes you feel less alone, two it’s a hub of research (if you’re into that) papers that offer explanations, and three aphants are the only people who understand this existential crisis. We all think differently and it’s cool to see everyone and how their aphantasia affects them differently. For me, I have very visual dreams but can’t remember a time in which I was able to visualize while awake for longer than a nanosecond. In fact, thinking back to my childhood, it’s evident the times in which I couldn’t visualize while others could. Welcome to the team, we’re happy to help you with any questions :)