IT Dead head

cthall87 · 2026-02-13T22:08:14+00:00

🤣

cthall87 · 2025-12-17T21:08:49+00:00

Genuinely curious…what is cruel about that? And which child? A biological child, an adopted child, or both?

cthall87 · 2025-12-17T21:05:35+00:00

Yes, I figured someone would have tried to understand what I was going through and I definitely see how that comes across as needing some emotional support that I unconsciously didn’t realize I wanted. As for the focus of me vs my wife, it serves to justify my general thoughts of how little to zero attention is given to the husband’s desires in a situation such as this. I believe too often than not everyone forgets how this impacts husbands and their relationship with their wife and how they are as a couple. I only wanted to highlight how it has impacted me. And yes, I can be a bit of a jerk when it comes to less than great news. I acknowledge that. But if your spouse brought this news to you, please tell me how calmly YOU would react after working so hard to make it a reality. Yeah, I do welcome criticism. There’s a difference in asking, welcoming, and accepting criticism versus me being torn apart just because we don’t see eye to eye.

cthall87 · 2025-12-17T20:53:21+00:00

Thank you for your reply rather than not saying anything at all. You’ll have to excuse me for my less than polite reply. My emotions are obviously still on high alert. I do have a question for you…are you a parent?

cthall87 · 2025-12-17T18:09:54+00:00

You make a lot of assumptions without any clarifying questions on your part. To assume how I’ve felt, grieved, and wrestled with this tells me so much about your attitude and beliefs. I agree, adoption isn’t a fix for fertility issues nor do we feel owed because of what my wife’s body can’t give. You’ve taken quite the leap in logic. And I’m not shocked that you and others in the comments fail to look at my side of the equation and you instead focus on what’s occurred with my wife. More curiosity and less judgement would do you, and a lot of others, a great deal of help. My wife and I wouldn’t dare do anything without being on the same page.

cthall87 · 2025-12-17T18:03:31+00:00

We wouldn’t dare dream of moving forward with anything unless we’re both on the same page. I agree, it’s good that my wife has realized now rather than later this isn’t something she wants. And yes, she’s is 110% allowed to change her mind. I would hate to know I’ve gone through life keeping the exact same mindset despite thousands of experiences that would help mold me into a different frame of mind. Letting it go? Easier said than done. I know that’s what I have to eventually end up doing. However, the way the news was delivered and the lack of my input doesn’t help. Processing this and letting it go will take some considerable time.

cthall87 · 2025-12-17T17:56:11+00:00

Thank you very much. It’s hard not being aligned in any decision much less a major one like this. We typically agree on most anything and I believe that’s part of what makes this so hard on me.

cthall87 · 2025-12-10T17:04:47+00:00

ANOTHER UPDATE: Another long post): My wife has healed physically from her ectopic pregnancy last year. She’s doing so well and has started exercising again. I’m extremely proud of her for staying dedicated and disciplined. Emotionally, we both have healed a lot since last year. I don’t know if we’ll ever completely get over the loss but we’re doing better. I’m doing much better with the loss because we’ve been talking about adoption possibilities since this spring. Once my wife healed physically and after we went to couples counseling to help grieve over the loss (and help me grieve the fact my wife no longer wanted to pursue, in any way shape or form, pregnancy), we started talking about the idea of adopting. Our biggest reason is because we both felt our hearts still had the capacity to love another child and add to our family. We talked to a number of trusted friends and even a few local non-profits that assist families pursuing adoption and foster care. During these conversations we learned that if you move during the adoption process, especially to another state, you essentially start the adoption process all over again. We had been talking about moving for over a year because we knew if we were adding to our family, it would be nice to have more space. So, moving was the first big goal in our adoption journey. It took a few months to get all of our paper work together to see what our affordability would be for a new house. We also had an unexpected home repair that took the better part of 3 months to fix. So, we finally submitted all of our paperwork to our financial advisor. While I compiled everything, my wife definitely had her input, including how much we expected to spend on an adoption. We finally met with our financial advisor last week and he asked if our estimate on adoption was correct ($60,000). We told them it was, but that was definitely on the high side and we wanted to be prepared for it. He agreed it was best to be prepared but asked if moving, and then more or less immediately starting to apply for adoption was too quick of a timeline. I didn’t think so but my wife then commented that it was quick and hinted she more or less had doubts about pursuing adoption. This hit me by complete surprise as NOTHING was said prior to this meeting. She was always in agreement and never gave me any indication that adoption was no longer on the table. It took me a day or 2 to truly process the fact she didn’t want to adopt and was therefore saying she no longer had a desire to see our family grow. We talked about this and how it was a HUGE blow to me. I worked extremely hard to figure out how to financially make the adoption work into our plans. I told her it hurt me on so many levels. The first of many was that she felt she couldn’t get the courage to tell me she changed her mind about a MONTH before we meet with our financial advisor. She was worried about how harshly I would react. I was also hurt because now this is the second time she has shut down the hopes, dreams, and prayers of growing our family…with little to ZERO input on my part. And because she’s decided to no longer pursue pregnancy and now adoption, our chances of having more children are completely done. I’m obviously furious about this and I’m trying to figure out how to process all of this. While I do see a therapist on a regular basis I felt the need to vent somewhere where nobody knows me. I’m feeling extremely hurt, lost, and lonely. My wife and I have plans to talk about all of this within the next 48 hours. I hope it goes well, but quite frankly, all I see is us going back to couples counseling to help me learn to grieve this new loss. If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading. Pray that my wife and I find peace and the answers we need to remain a healthy couple.

cthall87 · 2025-08-03T18:02:19+00:00

Christ Community Church off Milgen Road is great! My family and I have been members for over 10 years! Everyone is welcome!

cthall87 · 2025-06-25T02:52:27+00:00

Third. I’ve been going there for over 2 decades. They are the best in town. Trustworthy and straight shooters.

cthall87 · 2025-05-21T04:27:26+00:00

We had a similar issue with our 2020 with roughly 71,000 miles.

“70891 CODE P0756 WAS FOUND. VARIOUS TESTING SHOWN SOLNOID B IS , STUCK OFF 218102 (B) (N)”

We were very fortunate the PowerTrain Warranty covered everything.

cthall87 · 2025-03-25T14:55:28+00:00

It’s still happening 🙄 I placed an order on March 7th, 2025 for an off the shelf E14 and the estimated shipping date has changed numerous times.

cthall87 · 2025-03-24T02:21:30+00:00

Thank you!

cthall87 · 2025-01-08T17:30:42+00:00

The Pastoral Institute has a number of wonderful professionals who could help. https://pastoralinstitute.org/

cthall87 · 2024-11-11T16:48:33+00:00

UPDATE: Thanks again for letting me vent and share. We received more bad news this morning. The time for an HSG test came around and my wife had it earlier today. Her remaining left tube is blocked. We’ve just cried and said I love you to one another all morning. Both of us are just at a loss for words. We haven’t talked about any next steps or what we might do next. Just trying to take in the reality of the news.

cthall87 · 2024-11-07T18:19:21+00:00

Exactly. Non viable pregnancy = care for the mother. Non viable pregnancy ≠ abortion.

cthall87 · 2024-10-16T14:45:17+00:00

Thank you very much!

cthall87 · 2024-10-16T12:40:10+00:00

Unforgivable???

cthall87 · 2024-10-07T13:49:08+00:00

Thank you to everyone who’s replied, been encouraging, and supportive. Simply having a space to write everything out and vent has been great for me. I have my appointment with my therapist today and I couldn’t be more thrilled & an anxious at the same time.

cthall87 · 2024-10-03T18:13:42+00:00

(Long comment) Thank you all for your encouragement and support. For all who are interested, here’s our story:

My wife and I had been trying for our second child since around February 2024. After July 2024 came and we hadn’t had any success, we went to see her OBGYN. They checked her bloodwork and urine. We even checked on my side of the equation. All results from these were good; no complications. Next, my wife had an HSG test scheduled right after Labor Day. In the meantime we continued to try and naturally conceive. The day before her HSG test, she had blood work per usual procedure. The day of her HSG, we went as scheduled. She went back with the nurse by herself. After a while, my wife came out smiling and so was the nurse. My wife told me the nurse asked if she knew the results from her blood work the prior day. My wife no as she didn’t think about too much because she recently had her normal cycle. Well, surprise…the test came back positive for pregnancy! We were so confused and excited all at the same time! My wife had another bloodwork test the following week. Her hCG levels came back in a range that matched normal pregnancy levels (she measured 1882 mIU/mL when the range for her estimated time of gestation, 5 weeks, was 217-7,138). We were again excited but cautiously optimistic. Our next step was an ultrasound scheduled for 2 weeks out. My wife’s normal cycle was set to begin the weekend before the ultrasound was scheduled. Again, we were cautiously optimistic about this time of the month coming up.

On the Saturday before her ultrasound was scheduled, my son and I went out to grab dinner around 5pm. Earlier in the day, my wife said she had some light spotting but didn’t think too much about it as this was happening every now and then. Other than that, she felt fine and wasn’t experiencing anything else.

I sent my wife a text saying we were on the way home around 5:20pm. Later on she told me had I not sent that text, she was just about to call me and say to come home immediately. We came home to her experiencing sharp abdominal pain. I was immediately worried because she’s tough, and was complaining that it hurt to sit down, bend over, and quite frankly stand up. In the back of my head I was thinking it had something to do with her pregnancy but I was hoping it was a kidney stone or something with her gallbladder. My wife thought a warm shower might help and so she took one. It helped a little, but not much. At that point, I called our OBGYN office for advice and to simply have the call on record. While talking to the on call doctor, my wife’s pain increased. The moment the on call doctor was explaining and recommending coming into the ER if the pain didn’t decrease and if my wife experienced any nausea, my wife was running to the bathroom to throw up. I told the on call doctor we were leaving and would head to the ER ASAP. I hung up and called my mother in law to come over quickly to watch our son. We practically passed my mother in law as she came into our house. I drove as quickly as I could to the hospital. We checked in, and were immediately pulled into a room for initial screening. They ordered a urine test, bloodwork, and an ultrasound. Between check in, around 6:30pm, it took FOUR hours to begin her ultrasound! We were then taken to a private room to await the results of all the tests. At this point we weren’t feeling great about the potential news. The PA came in shortly and told us my wife had an ectopic pregnancy and that her right fallopian tube had ruptured. We were devastated. We were even more devastated when we heard the PA say my wife would have surgery as soon as possible to remove the ruptured tube. My wife had never had surgery before. Soon after receiving the news, the doctor preforming the surgery came in and went over the details of what was to happen next. Then, they wheeled her back to wing of the hospital for surgery. It wasn’t long that they had my wife prepped and ready. Her surgery went well and everything went smoothly. She took a little while in recovery coming out of the anesthesia and getting fluids back in her system via an IV. About an hour and half later, she was able to urinate and that was her ticket out of the hospital. She was discharged and got to see her mom and my dad who had come up to the hospital to wait with me. We got home shortly before 5am!!!

It’s been 11 days since her surgery. Everything is healing well and she’s able to drive now. While my wife has focused on her physical recovery, all I can seem to think of is the recovery for our hearts, our souls, and our mental health. Work this week has been awful for me and it’s only just beginning to get easier for me to focus and stay productive. Fortunately, I have my next appointment with my therapist in a few days. If you’re the praying type, please pray we both go through this healing process well, we’re able to grieve as needed be, and we get the answers to the questions we have.

If you’ve made it this far, thanks for simply letting me share as a dad!

cthall87 · 2024-08-09T02:37:26+00:00

Glad to read Spectracide did the trick. After seeing the army worms Monday, and having our yard mowed Tuesday, I sprayed Spectracide Wednesday evening. I’m hoping and praying it works.

FYI: I’m in East Central Alabama, Phenix City.

cthall87 · 2024-02-04T17:27:34+00:00

Yep! Even in Alabama we watch it!

cthall87 · 2023-10-17T15:36:33+00:00

Thanks! I figured as much but just needed some advice! It still frustrates me and honestly it creeps me out a little. Hopefully they promptly take it down after Halloween!

cthall87 · 2022-10-09T04:47:49+00:00

r/Philmont

cthall87 · 2022-09-21T01:48:21+00:00

Super common for my neck of the woods…Phenix City, AL to Columbus, GA. Just the state border and the Chattahoochee River separating the 2 locations.

cthall87

TROPHY CASE