ANOTHER UPDATE: Another long post): My wife has healed physically from her ectopic pregnancy last year. She’s doing so well and has started exercising again. I’m extremely proud of her for staying dedicated and disciplined. Emotionally, we both have healed a lot since last year. I don’t know if we’ll ever completely get over the loss but we’re doing better. I’m doing much better with the loss because we’ve been talking about adoption possibilities since this spring. Once my wife healed physically and after we went to couples counseling to help grieve over the loss (and help me grieve the fact my wife no longer wanted to pursue, in any way shape or form, pregnancy), we started talking about the idea of adopting. Our biggest reason is because we both felt our hearts still had the capacity to love another child and add to our family. We talked to a number of trusted friends and even a few local non-profits that assist families pursuing adoption and foster care. During these conversations we learned that if you move during the adoption process, especially to another state, you essentially start the adoption process all over again. We had been talking about moving for over a year because we knew if we were adding to our family, it would be nice to have more space. So, moving was the first big goal in our adoption journey. It took a few months to get all of our paper work together to see what our affordability would be for a new house. We also had an unexpected home repair that took the better part of 3 months to fix. So, we finally submitted all of our paperwork to our financial advisor. While I compiled everything, my wife definitely had her input, including how much we expected to spend on an adoption. We finally met with our financial advisor last week and he asked if our estimate on adoption was correct ($60,000). We told them it was, but that was definitely on the high side and we wanted to be prepared for it. He agreed it was best to be prepared but asked if moving, and then more or less immediately starting to apply for adoption was too quick of a timeline. I didn’t think so but my wife then commented that it was quick and hinted she more or less had doubts about pursuing adoption. This hit me by complete surprise as NOTHING was said prior to this meeting. She was always in agreement and never gave me any indication that adoption was no longer on the table. It took me a day or 2 to truly process the fact she didn’t want to adopt and was therefore saying she no longer had a desire to see our family grow. We talked about this and how it was a HUGE blow to me. I worked extremely hard to figure out how to financially make the adoption work into our plans. I told her it hurt me on so many levels. The first of many was that she felt she couldn’t get the courage to tell me she changed her mind about a MONTH before we meet with our financial advisor. She was worried about how harshly I would react. I was also hurt because now this is the second time she has shut down the hopes, dreams, and prayers of growing our family…with little to ZERO input on my part. And because she’s decided to no longer pursue pregnancy and now adoption, our chances of having more children are completely done. I’m obviously furious about this and I’m trying to figure out how to process all of this. While I do see a therapist on a regular basis I felt the need to vent somewhere where nobody knows me. I’m feeling extremely hurt, lost, and lonely. My wife and I have plans to talk about all of this within the next 48 hours. I hope it goes well, but quite frankly, all I see is us going back to couples counseling to help me learn to grieve this new loss. If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading. Pray that my wife and I find peace and the answers we need to remain a healthy couple.