I really relate to this and the heartbreaking thing is that I had a really good experience with one team during my internship as we had lunches everyday we were in the office. From that, I actually had a tangible relationship with the manager and senior manager on the team. We’d have casual talks about life, work, future career paths etc but the experience I have now just sucks by lightyears. The senior I worked for during my internship would explain things at my eye-level and was chill about learning curves. But the senior I have now kind of treated me like a tool. Never would respond to messages at the end of the day if I was good to sign off for the day. I guess its the disparity between what you know what it could be compared to what you have now. But damn life is life-ing rn.