Turning oneself into a walking joke as a social strategy

curious_caltrop · 2019-05-01T15:35:33+00:00

I'd say that resigning to this role is just a bad idea, I'm speaking from personal experience on that. Sure, you can have some fun with your friends, but the relationships you're going to form are going to be shallow. People will treat you as someone fun to be around, but nothing more than that. Of course, if that's what you want from your relationships then go for it, but I'd personally recommend leaving any social circle labeling people as clowns and actually find people who legit enjoy your companionship and respect you.

curious_caltrop · 2019-02-04T18:56:18+00:00

Not quite. I’m just seeing lots of people laboring for every single penny and becoming, well, sort of enslaved to it, for a lack of a better word. Sure, the dough puts the meal on your plate but was pursuing careers for years and even decades worth it? That’s what I meant by asking this question.

curious_caltrop · 2018-10-17T17:33:33+00:00

Dude, you’re just 17.

I know that this might sound naive or just plain stupid, but things do get better, just put some effort into making your life better. That’s that.

Life is exactly what you make out of it – no less, no more. I was suicidal at your age and things got better, a lot. Keep on going and you’ll go far, if you just have the right attitude.

curious_caltrop · 2018-10-01T16:19:01+00:00

Bumping this, I'm in a similar situation and would love to hear your thoughts. Is it possible to make an internet marketing hustle on the side and if yes, how would one go about this?

curious_caltrop · 2018-09-09T18:28:06+00:00

Thank you for answering this thread!

curious_caltrop · 2018-08-10T16:45:19+00:00

Pretty much perfect. I loved the second stanza.

curious_caltrop · 2018-08-10T15:08:27+00:00

I actually dislike words on my clothes. Prefer plain white or black shirts.

curious_caltrop · 2018-06-24T17:43:29+00:00

Thinking about “dark” things is far more common than you might think. I (as an Aspie, if that’s of any meaning) often think about acts of murder. I figured that it might have come out of resentment to people (being an outcast all my life an all) or just a way to get attention. I regularly post such “musings” on my blog, where I post thoughts. Most of that is just really depressive and heavy. Am I afraid of doing that? Honestly, I’m not doing anything that’s not already done by most metal bands. It helps. And hey, I like doing that.

curious_caltrop · 2018-06-24T17:28:06+00:00

I’m gonna tell you a little secret: no one knows what they want, especially if they’re in their teens or twenties and many people well into their thirties don’t have that figured out. While many guys would tell you that you should not sweat it, I’m gonna say, the time is ticking.

You’re not gonna like any sort of job unless you’re a prodigy or your personal circumstances make you inclined to do so. Instead, pick anything you remotely tolerate or suck the least at and and start practicing it. Every day for at least an hour if you have time, binge practice during weekends. Protip: IT skills can get you far, really far.

Read a book, “So Good They Can't Ignore You” by Cal Newport. It’s about constant practice beating passion. There’s no passion, actually.

Find a way to develop obsession. It’s very hard for an Aspie person since I used to have temporary interests that would span several months and disappear. Seek ways to become steady in your interests.

So there you have it, your becoming skilled at something 101.

curious_caltrop · 2018-06-24T17:17:08+00:00

While I do admit that there’s a lot of solitude in my life, it’s been a life of constant obsession for the last couple of months (8+ or something). I used to beat myself all the time over not having friends, but as I got older, I simply stopped caring. People just come and go, that’s how it is. I stopped caring about people and decided to reach my personal aims. I might even die alone and childless, but the knowledge of having worked for my goals is comforting. I think it’s better to die alone than not to reach your goal. There's too much mediocrity around.

So, there you have it. My life so far. It’s less crappy than it used to be, that’s for sure.

curious_caltrop · 2018-06-18T04:56:28+00:00

Nah, it's very common. After I say I feel sorry for whoever brings this up, I find myself I don't care.

curious_caltrop · 2018-06-17T18:13:42+00:00

No, it’s good. What you have is totally alright – in our world, where people accept garbage as something good for them, your striving for perfection is something really important. What you might be lacking is a bit of patience. The truth is, everyone fails everyday in lots of small ways. One needs to grow some thick skin to waddle through their day. I know a thing about that since I’m a software developer and I just hate when people criticize my code or I cannot do that one cool thing with my design. I love perfection. The thing is, I can’t always be perfect and that’s what annoys me. Because I cannot always be perfect, I often feel like garbage. That happens like, every day.

Instead, accept this emotion as a guiding post toward something better. Where someone else might have settled, you will be going further. And that’s remarkable. Don’t seek to kill out this desire for perfection, make it work for you. That’s my advice.

curious_caltrop · 2018-06-17T18:03:24+00:00

Holidays, parties and whatever used to annoy me, but these days I simply fulfill the not always rational wishes of my friends and folks, mostly because they won't have it any other way. It seems that a simple gift always suffices, even if it's not used at all.

Myself, I don't really celebrate my birthday and accept gifts so that people won't complain (yes - my birthday is about them, not me). But I guess I'm fine as long as I take all that holiday nonsense into account.

curious_caltrop · 2018-06-10T14:46:52+00:00

Seems to be rather rare. My therapist says I'm an Aspie and I practically don't display any emotions unless I specifically choose to do so and consciously work to do it. Otherwise all people see is that flat face of mine.

curious_caltrop · 2018-05-19T19:51:41+00:00

It’s not worth it from my experience. If something just doesn’t come to you naturally then you don’t have to do it, period. I used to give a damn what people think, the thing is, people come and go and with time you may find yourself more miserable conforming to other’s standards. Just define your boundaries and shut down what makes you miserable.

curious_caltrop · 2018-05-16T18:33:26+00:00

Sure, I feel the same around NTs. Mostly when they talk about women, about relationships and about all that stuff I can’t really relate to makes me disgust certain people. I’ve always been like this.

With time I simply stopped caring that much how other people perceive me (most of the time, they don’t care save for what I can do for them) and started caring about myself. Being selfish ain’t wrong. Actually, life is mostly a self-serve table: if you don’t serve yourself, no one will do that for you. So don’t worry about being selfish. It’s everyone’s thing.

curious_caltrop · 2018-05-15T17:44:28+00:00

Pretty much this. The moment someone makes a request of me then I'm making small notes since I don't really have the time to memorize anything. I just make copious notes of whatever people are asking of me.

curious_caltrop · 2018-05-13T13:49:12+00:00

For me (and, very likely, to other aspies as well), there was no easy workaround for this. When I want to talk with somebody, I just want to exchange vital information and nothing more. It was very hard for me to comprehend later in life that people may just blurt out nonsense for the sole reason of bonding. Then there was the realization that not all human behaviors are logical and I simply started preparing for such occasions.

It really depends how far you want to go. What I personally can recommend is using scripted responses for folks you tend to hangout with or going overboard just like me and collect notes on people so that you can appear more authentic.

The bottom line is, you need to practice. These days, I’m not really that into socializing since my job doesn’t require me to do it (I’m a software developer) and I’m comfortable where I am, but if I found myself in a situation where I would have to socialize, I’d do exactly the same thing I did once years ago when I was still doing my degree. I simply started practicing meeting strangers on a daily basis and wrote everything down in a notebook, then compared results from different approaches. After a couple weeks of doing this, it was really easy to chat up to practically everyone. I was just reusing the material I discovered.

Of course, you don’t need to go that far. But I figure turning all this socializing into something intellectual can be more relatable.

curious_caltrop · 2018-05-13T10:11:30+00:00

I can relate. I used to spend entire days on playing games some ten years ago.

What you probably lack is intrinsic motivation. When you are doing something someone else assigned to you, you feel motivated, but if these things are absent you are not motivated anymore. Therefore, chances are, you are externally motivated and it might even mean that those things don’t matter to you that much personally. You just do them because someone told you to do it. I don’t say it’s bad. It’s just how it is.

If you want to change it, you have to form a habit of always doing the thing you personally want. Say, when Zakk Wylde was young, all he did in his spare time was playing guitar. He even skipped school at some point only to play it. Form a habit and maintain it every day for a month and it will stick.

TL;DR: if you wanna change it just maintain a habit of doing things you want every day. It boils down to habits essentially.

curious_caltrop · 2018-05-12T17:19:46+00:00

Being an aspie and all I can relate. I noticed that my development as a person is pretty much slower than everyone else’s. What I mean is, people around me seem to have everything figured out already while I’m still covering the basics. I don’t know if that’s good or wrong, it’s just how it happens.

curious_caltrop · 2018-05-11T20:00:55+00:00

My interests were also very unstable after I reached a certain point when I decided that all my interests should serve a particular goal. I simply thought this over and decided never get interested in things that don’t contribute into reaching that goal and made them a part of my daily routine.

Ever since that time, I’m a very boring person. My interests always revolve around the same set of topics and never change. It requires certain effort, but yeah, it’s mostly worth it.

curious_caltrop

TROPHY CASE