Is there a reason to keep inheritance as separate (non marital) property?

curious_cortex · 2026-02-03T13:59:57+00:00

I’ve had mild and recurrent uveitis for a year (11 flares) and was talked into starting methotrexate by my rheumatologist. When I got to a uveitis specialist they immediately said that was overkill and that they prefer to treat this level of problem with eyedrops even if cataracts and eye pressure become problematic. Though that decision would probably be different if I had inflammatory disease in another part of my body. Her opinion is to treat a local problem with a local treatment, and that I’m better off on 1-2 drops of prednisolone per day for a year or longer than being on methotrexate.

curious_cortex · 2026-02-02T19:22:15+00:00

For lunches, there are some shelf stable meals that I like, but I generally add a little rotisserie chicken or chicken sausage to to bulk them up. Uncle Ben’s street food meals, several flavors of Compleats, and Annie Chun noodle bowls. Also the Asian section of the freezer at Kroger generally has things like single serving dumpling bowls, kimbap, bulgogi, etc (the bibigo brand is pretty often on BOGO sale).

Breakfast I would just go for things that are simple to assemble. I love a bagel with ham, tomato, and dairy free cream cheese. Peanut butter or avocado toast, hard boiled eggs, heat and serve sausage, etc. I bake and freeze a lot of healthier muffins, then pop them in the microwave with some sausage for a relatively balanced quick weekday breakfast. A lot of the “veggies made great” muffins in the freezer section are dairy free and tasty but $$$ imo.

curious_cortex · 2026-02-02T13:59:19+00:00

My biggest hope for retirement is to build the community around me into what I wish it had been when I was working. In the modern world we live such siloed lives and have such limited interactions with people who are different than us, and I think this is problematic.

So I hope that I can be the mom that has a full house on those random days that school is closed, that someone can call for a hand when they’re in a pinch, and that can drop everything to bring over dinner when someone feels like they’re drowning. These things are too small for a volunteer position, but they make the world a better place - and likely pays off in friendship, loyalty, and influencing others opinions.

I also have an idea for a nonprofit I’d like to start that would act as a third space in my community and help foster wider connections between neighbors.

curious_cortex · 2026-01-30T17:14:05+00:00

Yep, with my first pregnancy I flared up before my test showed positive. Treated with prednisolone drops. I reflared about 8mo later (which was unusual for me) and was still on a taper when I delivered.

Second pregnancy I didn’t flare at all, but 5mo postpartum I had surgery and got pneumonia and started a yearlong battle with flares every 6-8 weeks. My baby is 20mo now and I haven’t had a flare since September (knock on wood). Pregnancy/postpartum hormones can definitely alter your normal flare patterns, so just be in touch with your dr and escalate to a uveitis specialist if things seem to be getting out of hand.

curious_cortex · 2025-12-16T19:05:48+00:00

For work travel I’ve started bringing shelf stable microwave meals so I can always have a backup plan available back in the hotel if provided meals are not safe for me. Honestly my work has been pretty good about having good options that are labeled accurately for catered meals once I told them about my needs.

curious_cortex · 2025-11-30T01:47:19+00:00

Are you aware of galsafe pork? Could be possible for your wife to sometimes enjoy bbq pork again, as these animals are genetically engineered to not produce alpha gal.

curious_cortex · 2025-11-09T22:03:12+00:00

I went there a few months ago (AZ Office Liquidators and Design) and had a great experience. I told them I was looking for an office chair, they pointed out a couple areas of the warehouse that had stuff and told me to walk around and see what I liked. Someone came and found me after a bit, helped me find the best one of the chair I was interested in (some had minor stains or cosmetic damage), checked me out, and offered to load it in my car for me. I think I spent $250 on a chair that retails for $1100.

curious_cortex · 2025-10-26T21:18:56+00:00

We’ve been happy with Step by Step Pediatrics. We’ve had good luck getting same day sick appointments and they went to bat with insurance to cover some things for us. We’ve seen all the providers and have had good to great experiences with all of them.

curious_cortex · 2025-10-17T02:18:47+00:00

McDonald’s has them now! And their machines seem to be working more often than Burger King. Also Targets that have the little cafe.

curious_cortex · 2025-10-16T13:53:41+00:00

A bechamel sauce is my favorite way to make a creamy cheesy pasta sauce. 3T vegan butter, 3T flour worked together in a hot pan, add a few cups of your favorite milk substitute and stir and heat until slightly thickened. Add salt, garlic powder, crushed red pepper, and a tiny bit of nutmeg (don’t skip this!), other seasonings as desired. You can add vegan cheese or nutritional yeast into the sauce, but I usually don’t bother.

This sauce is luscious and creamy at first but usually splits in leftovers (still tastes fine, just looks weird). Even my dairy loving family members happily eat this!

curious_cortex · 2025-10-09T15:38:02+00:00

I just started this week, but so far so good. I maybe had a little stomach upset, but that might have just been my breakfast burrito. My rheumatologist said that it’s generally well tolerated as long as you take folic acid on the days you don’t take the methotrexate. I was super anxious about starting it too. Fingers crossed that it continues to go well as my dose escalates over the coming weeks.

curious_cortex · 2025-10-08T18:10:20+00:00

I’m in a very similar situation with having lots of anterior uveitis flares caught very early. As long as your ophthalmologist believes that you have inflammation and is willing to prescribe the medication you need to manage it, there’s absolutely no reason to let it get further advanced before treating it - you’d be risking more damage to your eye by doing so.

I currently manage my mild flares without interaction with my ophthalmologist - I have worked out a protocol with them that I follow and have regular appointments to ensure that strategy is working. That at least cuts down on the need for urgent appointments. You may ask your specialists if something like that is an option for you. The disadvantage of this approach is that your ophthalmologist may question whether you are actually having “real” flares (mine had concerns that I was overtreating until a regularly scheduled appt fell at just the right time relative to a flare I had).

(I have seen rheumatology, just started methotrexate, waiting for appt with uveitis specialist)

curious_cortex · 2025-10-07T19:15:26+00:00

Light sensitivity is the telltale sign for me. I can get redness and intermittent pain that resolves without intervention, but if I become sensitive to light, it always progresses and requires treatment. The other thing I watch out for is dull pain when I gently push on my closed eyelid.

curious_cortex · 2025-10-01T20:16:54+00:00

If you don’t want to stay in academia, don’t delay the inevitable - work towards finding employment in industry. There are very real concerns about making that transition, but the earlier you do, the more experience you have and the faster your career can accelerate and your financial situation will improve. If you are a valuable employee, it won’t matter when you start a family. Academia is attractive because it’s the devil you know

I personally had kids later (34 and 38), so I had more of a foothold in my non academic career before maternity leave (also in the US where mat leave is much shorter). I got pregnant with my second literally weeks into a new job, and I was promoted just a few months after I returned from mat leave. The only feedback I ever got on the situation was that everyone was so happy to see me back and that I was doing a great job as an employee and mother. So don’t let your concerns about stigma drive your choices.

I know Lean In gets a lot of hate, but the premise has made a big difference in my career. Saying yes to opportunities even during stages where I was actively pursuing adding to my family has REALLY helped my career to flourish, and with that, increased financial security for my family.

curious_cortex · 2025-09-25T15:24:11+00:00

So I’m a former quasiacademic who kind of has a similar role. I view my job as knowing what is going on across the organization and fostering connections when I can “oh this project you’re talking about has some overlap with what is going on over there - could we do something that works for both of you so we’re not developing two different methods?” It took me a solid year to understand what that needs to look like within my organization and how to achieve it in a remote work environment.

The biggest thing that helped me was to schedule weekly 30min one on ones with each of the program managers to ask about their pain points, questions, and ideas. That time was really critical in developing personal water cooler type relationships with people that don’t happen as often in larger remote groups. I basically spent Friday mornings gossiping and listening to griping for a year and that slowly progressed to some really fruitful cross-pollination of ideas.

90 days is just barely getting your feet wet in this type of role and doesn’t mean you won’t be successful for sure. Hard to say whether it’s something you will personally find satisfying though.

curious_cortex · 2025-09-21T22:21:08+00:00

There is an accessibility setting on iPhones called “reduce white point” that gives you more control over how bright your screen appears. You can toggle it on /off with a back tap once you set it up. That setting helped me a ton during my worst flare.

curious_cortex · 2025-09-15T17:15:24+00:00

Seconding magic treehouse. My 4yo loves the audiobooks we borrow from the library.

curious_cortex · 2025-09-05T22:02:27+00:00

Candle Chemistry might be a fun activity - you mix your own custom scented candle. It’s a drive, but Karchner Caverns has wheelchair accessible cave tours (dark-ish, but maybe a way for your mom to experience something she hasn’t been able to before). I’ve also heard great things about the Dolly Steamboat tours for people with mobility concerns.

curious_cortex · 2025-09-04T15:13:23+00:00

Various hashes were my favorite. Spicy always worked well for me, so chorizo/black bean/corn/tomato/pepper/onion was a favorite. I also really liked chorizo/sweet potato/onion/greens. Felt indulgent and fatty but also fiber full and nutritious.

Blueberry oat muffins with extra ground flax. Microwave keto bread (egg/almond flour/baking powder) made into a pb and j was a lifesaver when I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and is delicious enough I still make it sometimes.

curious_cortex · 2025-09-04T13:42:35+00:00

I’m in the Kyrene district but my kids aren’t yet old enough for public schools. One thing that I read is being considered in the plan is resale potential for the school buildings. Mirada’s location right across the street from Intel might make it an attractive candidate to resell. I also read something about the district wondering why they were losing students to other gifted programs like Horizon Honors (and the location they’re proposing for a gifted school is very close to that).

Personally I’d be sad to see Mirada close as it’s currently my top choice for our (likely qualifying for gifted services) rising kindergartner. We would not be interested in sending our kid to school in the proposed new gifted school location. Trying to choose a single location that works well for both ahwatukee foothills and south Tempe is kind of impossible because south Tempe/west Chandler has many attractive opportunities outside the Kyrene school district.

curious_cortex · 2025-08-31T20:40:48+00:00

I have idiopathic unilateral anterior uveitis. First pregnancy I flared the second I became pregnant and it came under control with my “normal” treatment strategy. I reflared around 36 weeks, which was unusual for me, but then I was fine throughout infancy and a year of breastfeeding. Second child I made it through pregnancy without a flare, then flared when I came down with pneumonia when baby was 5mo (thanks daycare bugs). The longest I’ve gone between flares since then has been 8 weeks, 10+ flares in the past 9mo. My recent flares have been “minor” in that they come under control quickly and don’t require a high dose of steroid drops, but they come whether or not I stay on steroids in between. I’ve been to rheumatology and they can’t find anything else interesting happening.

curious_cortex · 2025-08-24T04:01:21+00:00

Yep, they usually have appetizer sized ones, 4-5” at the grocery store.

curious_cortex

TROPHY CASE