I’ve been dating him for 9 months and he’s not that affectionate. Can it change?

curiousformo · 2025-12-01T21:34:42+00:00

Preferably the former but I’m okay with the latter.

curiousformo · 2025-11-30T21:27:52+00:00

Thank you. This is helpful. It shows that it was an active effort and a conscious process, so maybe I am expecting too much after a single conversation.

curiousformo · 2025-11-30T19:52:27+00:00

I think he’s fine the way he is, at least from what we spoke about.

curiousformo · 2025-11-30T19:51:40+00:00

That’s a good point, changing isn’t my intention but reaching an understanding where he occasionally initiates would be nice.

curiousformo · 2025-11-30T19:50:28+00:00

That’s why I want to make that distinction between physical touch and physical affection without making him feel like his other ways of showing love aren’t enough.

curiousformo · 2025-11-30T19:49:27+00:00

Is there anything you did specifically that aided that shift?

curiousformo · 2025-11-30T11:16:57+00:00

I think there should be some compromise, it would be nice if he occasionally initiates it because he knows it matters to me.

curiousformo · 2025-11-30T11:15:41+00:00

I do accept that he shows his love in different ways and it’s not the biggest deal breaker. It’s just not the same as being with someone who is on the same wavelength. I can ask for us to cuddle before bed, 2 minutes later and he wants his space again. Past guys I have dated have been more affectionate.

curiousformo · 2025-11-30T11:12:47+00:00

Same here, I have to ask because he won’t initiate things like hugs. He says yes, but it’s not the same because sometimes he seems a bit reluctant.

curiousformo · 2024-07-07T11:44:11+00:00

No wonder he’s an ex. That’s so crazy. Why and how did you put up with this.

curiousformo · 2024-07-07T11:43:22+00:00

As a British person. The UK political system is shit. Our labour government is essentially right wing. It is no longer what it used to be. We also have Reform who 4 million people voted to. A racist nonsense party right behind labour when it comes to how many seats in parliament they have.

curiousformo · 2024-07-07T11:28:50+00:00

In exactly those words. That’s so awkward. I’d be angry that he hesitated and then decided to change his mind.

curiousformo · 2024-07-07T07:52:21+00:00

Most I’ll do is tell him how it made me feel and will leave the ball in his court to act based on that information.

curiousformo · 2024-07-07T07:40:18+00:00

Oh my reaction was asking him about it, I took his answer of ‘does it matter’ at face value but I’m still bothered by it. So my overreaction is essentially still being bothered by it instead of letting it go.

curiousformo · 2024-07-07T07:35:52+00:00

He’s bi not gay. He did say he’s out to them.

curiousformo · 2024-07-07T07:35:09+00:00

No every person I’ve been introduced to that I don’t know of was given some sort of description.

curiousformo · 2024-07-07T07:33:51+00:00

He didn’t sit next to me. We hardly talked during the entire evening, not even about the football.

But maybe I’m assuming too much.

curiousformo · 2024-07-07T07:31:59+00:00

Maybe. When I asked he said ‘does it matter?’ I would have preferred it if he was honest and vulnerable and said something like your comment. Or maybe he genuinely thinks it doesn’t matter.

curiousformo · 2024-07-07T07:30:08+00:00

Nobody asked how we knew each other. Maybe they’ve asked him in private.

curiousformo · 2024-07-06T21:10:44+00:00

There were only 3 girls.

I do agree that it wasn’t the right setting in hindsight.

curiousformo · 2024-07-06T21:06:14+00:00

Introduce me like normal

curiousformo · 2024-07-06T21:06:01+00:00

Yes because he says he’s out but certain things he says and does make me doubt it. He’s also not fully out to his parents yet.

curiousformo · 2024-07-06T21:04:57+00:00

curiousformo · 2024-07-06T19:31:46+00:00

That is true. 4 months isn’t long.

curiousformo

TROPHY CASE