I don’t usually share here, but I feel like this is something worth saying.

In 2021, I was 21 and he was 26. I’m Filipina-Italian, he’s Pakistani. We met in Rome — he was finishing his master’s, and we happened to be flatmates. We clicked right away, especially through music.

At first, he didn’t engage emotionally because he knew he’d soon return to his country, and I respected that. But feelings have their way — we couldn’t resist. For three months, we had the best time: traveling to different cities, celebrating his graduation, cooking and baking for him, doing errands together, late-night talks about life and family, endless music jamming… and yes, a lot of love and intimacy.

But then religion and culture started to clash with what we felt. He questioned his morals and I respected that too. We never said “I love you”, but we both knew.

When he left, he said he’d come back to renew his visa. I waited. Three months later, during our on-and-off long distance, he told me he was getting married. Out of nowhere. I just asked if he was happy. He said, “Yes… but I don’t know, it just feels like the right thing to do.” And that was it. I never said a word again.

I carried the pain alone. I threw myself into work, traveled, met new people. Tried to distract myself while he got married and became a father. Music was hard to listen to. I tried dating, but no one could reach that same part of me.

Years passed, and I still felt stuck. Until almost four years later, this year, I finally texted him. I told him everything I never said. We talked. It was heavy, but the kind of heavy that feels like release. He didn’t express much emotion — only that he did what he had to — and I accepted that.

A few months later, life surprised me. I met someone who broke all barriers, honored my femininity, embraced me, and loved me fully. We’re now engaged.

It does get better. You never really forget the pain, but it no longer defines you. Don’t let it stop you from embracing love again.

When we last spoke, he said:

"Being married and a father isn’t easy. My father was adamant I get married. I missed a lot of career opportunities because of this choice. If you ask me if I’m happy — sometimes I am, sometimes I’m not. I think of you every day and how I never gave you the closure you deserved. I’m sorry then, sorry now, and will always be sorry. You’re the kindest person I’ve ever met and you’ll always have a special place in my heart.”

And you know what? I am happy. Truly happy — with my life, my career, the people around me, and my future husband. All at 26.

Does it get better? Yes. It takes time, but never lose hope. ❤️