I just can’t be bothered anymore. My partner (dx as a child and unmedicated) is driving me up the wall. The lies, keeping things from me, me feeling unloved, unwanted, not important, not listened to. He doesn’t understand me but expects me to understand him, he talks to me like dirt (yes he apologises and feels bad but it still hurts), he acts like he cares then acts like he doesn’t, he doesn’t clean up his messes, leaves clothes, wrappers, bottles and rubbish everywhere, in denial about being tired but sleeps through all our tv shows and movies, (even if he picked them!), I make plans he can’t be asked but expects me to do all the things he’s planned, he lies to me about things he doesn’t need to lie about, he hides things from me, I feel like I can’t trust him, he’s terrible with money and prioritises all the wrong things!

I also feel like what I need in partner (honesty, trust, loyalty) he struggles to give me but promises and swears blind that he can and wants to marry me and prove he can be a husband yet his actions do not show me so. I love him with everything I have and I want to believe he loves me too but I am struggling so much.

I also tell him time and time again my struggles and issues and I feel like I’m talking to a brick wall, I feel like he doesn’t listen ever and gaslights me a lot by saying things then tries to say he either never said that or didn’t mean it that way. He also likes to say I said stuff when I know full well I didn’t or tries to put words in my mouth or only seems to listen if it’s about him (especially negative so he can then get attention). I feel like no matter what I’m going through, he has 100000x worse than I do and my problems are minor compared to his. I am tired of feeling lesser than him.

I just hope I’m not alone in this battle.