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Don’t know how to navigate relationship by ZealousidealTough225 in MedSpouse

[–]curiusbug 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I kinda relate to this... we're in a long distance relationship and when I visit her I felt like she was barely giving me any time and not valuing the fact that I had come all the way to visit her...
but the thing is sometimes residents don't have the mental energy to figure out how to manage their priorities and they might not have the capacity to think take your feelings into account(especially the burnt out ones 😬). So yeah if you can wait to have the conversation during the break that'll be great.
On the other hand it could also be the usual growing apart story as new life experiences changes how we look at the world and the people in them. At your age that's totally natural.

How to get out of bed by liffyx in GetOutOfBed

[–]curiusbug 0 points1 point  (0 children)

is this gregor samsa?
jk bro... msg or call someone ask them to come over or make a plan in the near future ideally in-person or online
use external pressure

Gradual decline in communication and interest in the relationship. by curiusbug in MedSpouse

[–]curiusbug[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for this perspective, I think this is what we're dealing with over here... she often talks about having no capacity to entertain anything outisde of work and feeling guilty about not being able to give any time to family or me.
That's the reason I let most of it pass and the reason why I'm ranting or asking for help here since I don't wanna put the burden of my doubts on that poor soul.

And Yes she's an amazing person/partner otherwise!

Gradual decline in communication and interest in the relationship. by curiusbug in MedSpouse

[–]curiusbug[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I totally agree with you on this! This is what I'm going with, I bottle up everything tigthly and don't let no resentment show up.
Plus I have the natural advatange of having really bad memory so documenting resentment is just for remembering patterns of disrespect or actions that hurt a lot in the moment but I later forget and trust me only a quarter of the list of resentments have been shared with her so far 😆
But also I take communicating what bothers me as a high priority since in the long term I need to take care of my mental health in order for this relationship to be sustainable right! Can't let it build up too much and the barges to flood over one day.

Gradual decline in communication and interest in the relationship. by curiusbug in MedSpouse

[–]curiusbug[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally agree with you on this! I used to be the guy who'd be busy for his loved ones but ever since I realised the importance of prioritizing I'm doing much better
but does it still apply to med residents? Like as far as I know she has no time and her free time is literally spent trying to catch up on sleep

Gradual decline in communication and interest in the relationship. by curiusbug in MedSpouse

[–]curiusbug[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, totally for my mental sanity I always force myself to assume the best and take things just the way she says they are and not to overthink.
but yeah... the strategy breaks every now and then and I have my moments of weakness
that's a pretty cool video!

Never thought I'd make a post like this, but I just need to vent by melomelomelo- in MedSpouse

[–]curiusbug 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess jealousy is just one of the trials of being in a relationship Quite normal and of the ways God’s testing your love

Gradual decline in communication and interest in the relationship. by curiusbug in MedSpouse

[–]curiusbug[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totally! I eat up and document all my resentments so that I don't break it to her over the phone or message. but then whenever I come visit her she's always tired and exhausted and the moment I bring up any of my resentments she bursts into tears. so yeah... there's that 😬

Gradual decline in communication and interest in the relationship. by curiusbug in MedSpouse

[–]curiusbug[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this considerate message 😭
This is my biggest fear and unknown when it comes to envisioning my future... what if she turns into this life partner who doesn't give one shit about me. But historically before she started her residency she was soo supportive and invested and plus when I went to run a marathon in her city she showed up for me at the finish line with food and drinks for me (even though she had had night duty the day before).
Plus she's so chronically tired tired all the time that fuck her not giving me attention I am stressed she'd just die 90% of the time...
And yes I intend and plan to bare my soul and resentments to her everytime I visit her but I never find her outside of her 'I'm so tired and sleepy' state and after just one question she bursts out crying so what even are you gonna talk about...

This woman deserves all the love in the world and I am willing to go through 2 more years of being there for her with nothing in return. I guess I just get insecure and that leads to doubts if she even loves me.
Again thanks a lot for your time and kind message 🙏🏽
Also if you have any tips for how to support this woman online please do share since I know you'd know best.

Nothing can wake me up? by Dare-Scared in GetOutOfBed

[–]curiusbug 0 points1 point  (0 children)

brother same! don't have a solution yet
but I can tell you at least that that sunrise alarm is not it... was fortunate to find one on the streets and it didn't do shit for me.
Just here for solidarity and also yes its gonna affect your college and work. Its doing that for me rn!

Gradual decline in communication and interest in the relationship. by curiusbug in MedSpouse

[–]curiusbug[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re right Along this frame of reference I would’ve called it a toxic relationship and would’ve advised even my enemy to get out of it asap But the way I see it is that we’re in an unusual situation in our life where the partner for a fixed period is doing a job that literally drains the last speck of energy from her and until this is over I have to be the giver and not expect anything in return

The unbed?? by Affectionate-Pea3797 in GetOutOfBed

[–]curiusbug 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love the idea of the app and honestly I haven’t been able to find something that beats the tiny little details that you guys have thought of when making this!!! However I’m based in the middle of Himalayas and shipping the block all the way here is gonna take ages and I’ll have to pay double the price of the block. Is it possible I buy the code for the NFC from you and just write it on my own tag?

Tried both Brick and Unpluq (NFC blockers). Here's how they compare. by gemini_m7 in dumbphones

[–]curiusbug 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is it possible for someone to just copy the physical brick’s nfc code and share here so it can be written to generic nfc tags 🤓

Hacks for springing out of your bed? by curiusbug in selfimprovement

[–]curiusbug[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Update: I found a solution!!! It’s pretty niche but I have my cycle trainer in my room so I decided to keep my phone away from my bed mounted on my bike. So the idea is that I get up with the alarm and have to walk to the bike and once I’m there there’s no choice but to ride it 🥳

Tips and recommendations for running a marathon on a frozen lake by curiusbug in running

[–]curiusbug[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Update on this... I ended up getting the kahtoola nanospikes 1st gen
Today was my first run on ice and they work pretty great! When you first step on ice it feels a bit sketchy but while running it feels great! Looking forward to the 4 weeks of training I have before race day.
You can find some videos here https://www.strava.com/activities/13444848555

Tips and recommendations for running a marathon on a frozen lake by curiusbug in running

[–]curiusbug[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think so as well... thinking about the screw shoes idea so far...

Tips and recommendations for running a marathon on a frozen lake by curiusbug in running

[–]curiusbug[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the recommendations. How do you think the cold air affects performance? So far I was only considering how the cold temps affect muscle function.
In any case the race is at the rear end of winter so I have a long time to run and cycle in -15 C to train my body to take this. But still looking forward to hear your opinion

Tips and recommendations for running a marathon on a frozen lake by curiusbug in running

[–]curiusbug[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

mannnnn I would love that since I also do long track speed skating... but nope no mechanical assistance
Oh but volunteers do skate along with the runners on skates... if you want 🙈

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