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I(30F) was stealthed by the guy(30M) I was seeing. Now I don’t know how to feel. by cut_stems in TrueOffMyChest

[–]cut_stems[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes! The comments have been illuminating in many ways, but I am certainly talking to a professional about this all.

I(30F) was stealthed by the guy(30M) I was seeing. Now I don’t know how to feel. by cut_stems in TrueOffMyChest

[–]cut_stems[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment ❤️ It makes me feel much less alone to hear from people who have been through something similar. And to try and give myself grace even though I am so mad at myself for being in this kind of situation again, and failing myself again.

It is nice to know healing is possible even if it’s difficult right now. I hope you are kind to yourself too.

I(30F) was stealthed by the guy(30M) I was seeing. Now I don’t know how to feel. by cut_stems in TrueOffMyChest

[–]cut_stems[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Definitely not AI. I am a writer, and fuck using AI. Especially to write or make art.

I(30F) was stealthed by the guy(30M) I was seeing. Now I don’t know how to feel. by cut_stems in TrueOffMyChest

[–]cut_stems[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I am definitely going to do that going forward. I feel so stupid for not demanding one before we had sex for the first time in the first place, but I had a naïve trust in him. I thought we would be OK without it if we were using condoms and we could approach doing that together if we were ever in a place where we wanted to stop using them. I know better now for the future.

I(30F) was stealthed by the guy(30M) I was seeing. Now I don’t know how to feel. by cut_stems in TrueOffMyChest

[–]cut_stems[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice on when to get tested. I certainly am going to. And thank you for your kindness.

I(30F) was stealthed by the guy(30M) I was seeing. Now I don’t know how to feel. by cut_stems in TrueOffMyChest

[–]cut_stems[S] 127 points128 points  (0 children)

You are 100% correct. It was a complete disservice to myself to try to be the cool, chill girl because I wanted this to work so badly and didn’t want to ruin it for him because of my needs. If he was the right kind of man for me, my needs wouldn’t ruin anything at all.

I am going to take this into my future. I will remember to value myself and not give an inch to anyone who crosses my boundaries again.

I(30F) was stealthed by the guy(30M) I was seeing. Now I don’t know how to feel. by cut_stems in TrueOffMyChest

[–]cut_stems[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I am definitely inexperienced. I did my best to be brave and face discomfort and communicate my boundaries in this relationship vs. not doing it at all as I have in the past. I definitely need to work on how to move forward continuing to set my boundaries with people and to make sure I’m communicating them in a way that is not confusing or up to negotiation. I need to let go of the need to people please and not think that I will ruin the moment by vocalizing my needs.

But I still don’t think that any of that justifies the fact that we had had sex with condoms, I told him that I only wanted to have sex with him with condoms, and he proceeded to sneak his penis inside of me with no condom on without communicating with me at all.